“What do you mean?” I questioned. Where this conversation was going.
“Kiera, you can’t hide long,” Jason’s voice sounded calm, but my heart started beating fast upon hearing his words. This is the reason that I don’t get close to people as time passes. They start to know more and more about you and your life, something that I never knew what to share. I’m good on my own, like always being alone, lonely with thoughts in my life and mind, alone.
Everything Jason said is true and very hurtful, but just because it’s true, I can’t accept it. “Jason, wh… at are you trying to say,” why the hell am I so nervous and why are my words shuttering?
Jason walked closer to me, his eyes following, my every move, not leaving me. Jason stood tall in front with his figure towering over my petite body, but even with his dominating aura, Jason’s face shows the concern that he has for me.
Jason placed both his hands gently on my shoulder. “Kiera, I know you’re hurt, and you try very hard to hide it. I know it because I was once in your shoes and that time it was you who brought back the light in my life. Trust me, and speak your heaat out for once.”
“Jason, I…,” my mind is now in a lack of words. I don’t know what to say, how to express myself. Jason placed a comforting palm on my face wipe, the tear that I did notice was falling, seeing Jason taking care of me like this, emotions, crying. I can’t help myself, but wrap my arms tightly around his waist, crying my heart out for the first time in so many years. All the emotions, the pain that was buried deep somewhere beneath me, are trying to come out of tears. I cried with all that was left inside me and cried.
I have never imagined seeing Kiera, the strong woman with a badass attitude, so weak and vulnerable, broken as she is crying in arms. Kiera’s emotions and the way she reacted shows how much pain she is fighting to hide beneath her.
This is the second time that I have seen Kiera like this broken, weak and crying. This first time was when she heard the news of her father’s accident. The second is now. Somehow and someway, Kiera is like me, but she is different too, in a good way. Kiera is not like me. She doesn’t hold grudges for trying to destroy people’s lives for vengeance. Kiera is kind, and loving. And that is what makes me fall in love with her again and again.
I stayed the same, not having the heard to move an inch from my place, comforting Kiera. As she is crying her heart out, similar to me, Kiera stayed the same, not leaving me, crushing herself in my arms. After some time, Kiera separated herself from me, not looking at me, but hiding her face. “I’m sorry,” Kiera said, trying to leave.
“Wait,” I grabbed, stopping her from moving any further. “Remember the words you told to me the last time we were here?”
Kiera stared at me, her eyes swollen and red from all the crying, but she showed a response to my words.
‘Sharing your grief with someone can help to reduce it.’ I repeated the words. The same words that Kiera once said to me, helping me achieve my newfound happiness.
Kiera hadn’t responded to my words and kept staring at me. I don’t know what’s going through her mind at this moment. But I know what is in my mind, the question which is very important for me to know, “Kiera, do you trust me?” the question that was on my mind for so long finally popped out of my mouth.
Kiera still didn’t open her mouth or respond in any other way. I sighed. I know after what I did to her; she can never be able to trust me. I was a fool to hold grudges against her. Someone like her deserved to be loved, cherished whole heartily, but the only thing I did was to hurt. I think nothing I do now can justify my past mistakes.
I’m sorry, all these years I hated you without knowing that you were hurting too. I was selfish for thinking of my pain, forgetting about others’ pain.’ I mumbled, my words are so low that only I can hear it and no one else. And maybe somehow, I’m the reason for her pain. Without thinking of her; I forced her into an unwanted relationship, punishing Kiera for her father’s mistake. And look at me now, expecting the answer from Kiera, that she trusts me or not. Fool, she will never trust you after what you did to her and her father. Somehow I’m also the reason for her father’s conditions and the troubles they both are facing right now. Because of me, Kiera’s father was first in a coma and is now in the vegetative stage.
I remember how Kiera helped me and changed me into a new person. In a few months, that is a drastic change in my personality and even people around me notice the change, and my newfound happiness is all because of Kiera. And now, it’s my turn to do the same for Kiera. I know that Kiera is the opposite to me and right now in these hard times she needs a soul that she can rely on, a shoulder she can cry on, and more importantly, me. He saw a person she could fully trust. I don’t know if my attempts will work, but I have to try for Kiera, the girl I love.