Gérard’s Pov.
I knew it was about to go down, so I pretended to kiss Emily, intending to ignore father and his interrogations but drew back from the kiss when suddenly, I felt something hot.
My chest was set ablaze, I groaned painfully, and I felt like my organs were being torn apart within me.
“Gérard.” Emily panicked. I held her hand and growled, my face was so hot. “Get me a tissue.”
Emily stood up to grab a tissue from a nearby and handed it over to me, I coughed in it and spat out blood.
I felt quite dizzy, my head was turning upside down, and almost fell down my chair.
“Hey, Gerard, what’s the matter?’ Emily was panicking, her tone was crammed with worry, she got up and intended to go for help when I shook my head.
‘Don’t say anything, this is our wedding, don’t ruin it with your emotions.’ I silently warned.
I learned what was going on with me, I knew what the problem was but I couldn’t tell Emily, because I am such a coward, a bad Alpha, nothing but a hypocrite who keeps lying to himself that he is not and acts so cool in front of others.
There is a reason why I am not the heir of the realms, there is a reason why Oceana is the heir instead of me.
There is a reason why I got married, and that is part of putting an innocent Emily in my entanglement relationship with my family.
Why was I putting an innocent lady through all this, I should have ended it and why was I feeling guilty as fuck, wasn’t I the one who made this decision in the first place.
Why am I regretting my actions?
Damn, I shouldn’t be feeling this right, I am starting to have regrets and wished I had gotten married to someone else, not someone who loves me and adores me.
I am Emily’s first love, I shouldn’t be getting her involved in my mess, I should have chosen someone else for this role, I guess I’m going to end up causing her so much pain.
Oceana is furious, I can sense it and what occurred here will spread like wildfire across the realms in a couple of minutes and it will sort of cause an issue.
This is all my fault, I shouldn’t have come home, I shouldn’t have come to the realm, I should have stayed away still Oceana got married, got children.
Maybe, still stayed where I was and make her forget about me for the rest of her life and never know I was once her mate.
That way, she could have lived a happier life and never heard a name called “Gerard”
I should have disappeared, this distress, this emotion is tearing deep inside me, tearing me apart. I could feel the coldness and the anger making my heart ache.
The rest of the wedding was torture, seeing her expression was making my spine chill, and Kai, sitting beside her was pissing me off, trying to talk to her and get his attention.
I’ve heard of his disgusting character lately and I needed to either talk to my mother about it or go to him instead.
I don’t want Oceana to be with a loose Alpha, an Alpha who will make her cry. I want an Alpha who will make her happy for the rest of her life, not make her cry and cause grief.
She’s my only love…
*You are the only one that can make her happy, you know that, and stop being in denial* My wolf said from within.
I ignored him, he was right but I’m not the only good Alpha in the world, there are good ones as well and I have to believe and accept it. Why am I so fucking sad, why am I so fucking furious at everything. Why am I angry about this wedding going on, when I was the one who arranged it? Who planned everything, why, just why is this happening to me?
I should have stayed back in England, but now, it will be difficult to resist her, because I came to a dangerous zone. Instead of staying off it, I still arrived and caused her pain. Why is this so confusing, I promised myself to not let my heart waver, that I was doing the right thing, protecting her life.
Everyone will begin gossiping soon about this incident once this wedding was done.
Why is my head hurting so bad? What is my fucking problem?
I think it’s high time, I man up and be an Alpha, be who I fucking am, and don’t worry about such petty stuff, I’m better than this, right?
“Gerard…”
I harshly cut her off. “Will you be quiet,” I was dead serious about this.
She had no idea about what is going on. I wanted her to stop talking and allow me to concentrate and prevent my father from knowing what was going on with me.
She went silent as I managed to get up from my chair and Kai took a couple of steps toward me.
I knew something was about to transpire, his approach, his aura was quite odd, this isn’t a good one.
“Congratulations on your wedding, Alpha Gerard, for I am so happy to see you and your newly wedded wife. Congratulations, once again.’
“Thank you.’ I struggled to speak but maintained my cool. I took an unnoticeable breath and felt mad within me, I can’t believe he is the chosen Alpha for Oceana, what were my parents thinking choosing someone like him?
“You must have heard that Oceana is my bride-to-be,” he pridefully initiated.
I nearly rolled my eyes, he is really rude as the rumors say he is.
“Are you trying to say that I am deaf since you seem to know much more than me?’ I forced out a smile.
He laughed. “I mean no disrespect, Alpha Gerard, I can see that I have offended you.’
“I never mentioned anything about you disrespecting or offending me, you said all those words yourself, Alpha Kai.’
What a foolish Alpha.
He seemed a little uncomfortable at first then smiled, nodded his head, and revealed. “I’m sorry if I misunderstood you or came at an inconvenient time, I have no other choice, this is the only way I can talk to you. You are always busy Alpha Gerard, once this wedding is over, I wouldn’t be seeing you anymore. You will be with your wife, having your honeymoon and even when you are back, you still won’t have the time to see me or let me see you. I can understand we are both busy with our schedules and all that, including the realms….”
I halted him. “Can you please get straight to the point, Alpha Kai?’