Jane
I took a deep breath before entering Brandon’s room.
Every day, I come here, hoping for him to wake up, and smile at him like he always used to, but every day nothing changes. He is still in his bed, lying lifeless. I shook my head. Plastering a smile on my face, “Look, Mrs. Samuel picked these flowers for you. See,” I brought flowers close to his face, hoping he would open his eyes. But he didn’t react.
I shook my head, trying my best to smile, even though it hurts seeing him like this.
“You know, the kids miss you very much. They both want their daddy back,” I said, holding his hand in mine, sitting in my usual place.
I bring his hand to my cheek, loving the warmth that makes me still believe that he is alive, immobile, but alive. And stayed like this, talking about the kids, about Rachel, about our neighbors, everything random. Wanting to react, at least. “Talk to me, I don’t like it when you’re silent.”
Brandon was always there for me four times when I needed him the most, but now when he needs me the most, I can’t do anything. Other than standing beside him in every possible way.
“I have the worst luck in love or God is somehow angry with me. That is why the person I love or want to spend the rest of my life with is not with me.” I smirked sadly at my words.
“Maybe it’s me who doesn’t deserve to love or be loved by someone. That’s why the people connected to me all have bad luck and miseries in life. I’m the biggest hurdle or curse in both your and Jared’s lives.” I sighed, stopping the tests that were in the bay of falling. “If I was not there with any of you…., everything would be fine. Everything.” The words that had been grounded in my heart for days finally came out.
“I’m sorry for everything,” I said, breaking into tears, moving my feet, and standing by the window, hiding my sorrows.
“So__sor_y,” a croaking voice asked.
I flew to my feet. “Hey,” I said, softly, reaching for his hand.
“Ja__ne,” he forces out.
“Shhh, I’m here,” I soothe him.
“I’ll call Daniel,” I said, as the door of the room opened, entering in Daniel with Rachel alongside him.
Brandon is awake, only the fact is making me both happy and emotional at the same time. Rachel came by my side with her hand on my shoulder. She smiled, wrapping her arms around me. “He is fine,” she whispered.
I nodded, turning my head at Brandon, whose eyes were on me, staring at me with a small smile plastered on my face.
I smiled, looking at him. I don’t know how many minutes a day I have waited for this smile on his face.
********
Brandon
Rebirth, being born again. I don’t know how true this term itself is, but after experiencing a near-death moment, I can say that the word ‘rebirth’ does hold deep meaning for me.
Before entering the operating room, there wasn’t much thought in my mind. I didn’t even know if I would come out alive. At that moment alone, I lost all my remaining hope for life. I was helpless that I couldn’t do anything good for my family, leaving them all alone. Even so, there was hope that nothing bad would happen, and no matter what, Jane would always be there for them.
Jane doesn’t realize how much strength she holds in herself. Her strength for moving forward, even when everything is so dark and depressing, is something not many can do, not even me.
I don’t have any memories of anything that happened after my surgery. I just heard a voice pleading, asking me to wake up, strengthening myself to fight. And the moment I opened my eyes, and saw Jane standing in front of me, with her eyes gleaming with tears, words didn’t seem to form from my mouth, and I couldn’t even soothe her, so I smiled, presenting Jane with my best smile that I could in hope to ease the tense environment in between us.
It was that day and it is now. I can’t describe why, but whenever she is near I feel anxious around her, maybe because I love her so much, but Jane doesn’t reciprocate the same feeling as me or is it just some kind of side effect of waking up from a coma? I sighed, avoiding the absurd thought in my mind.
Today, when Jane comes, I want to talk to her, clearing up any unsolved tension between us.
There was a knock on my door that made my eyes shine with hope as my heart started drumming in my chest.
Jane. I thought, but the person behind the door made my senses alert.
Marine.