“So what about you and Ronan?” Harley suddenly asked, getting a frown to form on her smiling lips as she looked up at him. Reminding herself of the situation with Ronan. She hadn’t had time to sort it out since she needed to attend to her alpha duties. Adding to that, she hasn’t told her parents about it, mostly because it was a very sensitive topic and she didn’t want to explain much about it at all to anyone.
“Are you asking because I’m pressuring you?” She asked with a deep frown as he stared down at her with his lips thinned into a straight line. She could see well in his eyes that he wasn’t going to change his mind about the question.
“You didn’t tell anyone about it. Are you really getting a divorce?” He asked as she moved from him and walked towards the window instead, not wanting to show her pain stricken face to him of all people. She just didn’t love the idea of looking weak in front of anyone, better yet Harley, since she knew he always looked up to her as a very strong opponent.
If she were to cry, she would only look weak to Harley, just like last night. So she anticipated showing him her strength once again during this sparing so he’d still know who was stronger.
“I haven’t changed my mind about that.” She said as she began to draw circles on the windowpane, fighting away the tears of betrayal. “I’m going to divorce him tomorrow, since I’m really busy and tired today. Plus he’s not around anyway, so I can’t divorce until he gets back from his hunting trip with the other hunters.” She sighed out shakily, reaching up to wipe sway her tears. “Gosh… Why am I so scared about this….?” She asked, more to herself ad Harley furrowed his brows at her, knowing she was taking much of the effect of it that Ronan. Of course he wouldn’t be that hurt since he was the reason. “I don’t know why but I have a feeling I’ll be alone for the rest of my life. The only men I talk to is my father, my brother, you and Ronan. Rarely the other men and having an entirely new stranger to become my mate again makes me feel like he’d just be exactly like Ronan.” She cleared her throat as he remained where he was, simply listening to what she had to say, knowing he shouldn’t say much about it since she would feel angry in the end if he tried to attack Ronan.
Hope was still a woman under all that courage and self-preservation. Just like every woman, she wanted to feel loved and protected, even though she was expected to protect everyone else as being the alpha. She had to look after an entire village. The men and women and children of the village were all under her protection and care. But Harley could tell she also needed someone to look after her at the same time.
Someone who would protect her and care for her like she was doing for the village.
Someone she’d feel safe wrapped around in his arms during the night. Someone who would help her escape all the stress of the day and feel like a child being looked after in return. Someone who wouldn’t treat her as an alpha, but as a wife.
“You’re afraid of meeting someone entirely new?” Harley asked as he stared at her back as she moved a bit on her spot and nodded her head.
“I don’t want to go through the entire process of getting to know a whole new person.” She said a bit quietly, but enough for him to hear. “But I want a big family just like everyone else. I want to be a wife and a mother at the same time. I want to train my boys and my girls too. Ronan was the man I thought who would give me everything I want. He was really kind to me, maybe a little silent, but he never hit me, not once. He never yelled at me and always treated me like a child sometimes when he wanted to convince me with something. But I just didn’t know who he was, that’s why I’m here thinking about this right now. I didn’t really know the Ronan I thought I knew.”
“If you were… To pick someone to marry right now. Who would it be?” Harley asked as he felt his throat close up, waiting for the answer as she remained silent for a while before shrugging her shoulders.
“Anyone who would want to marry me now will try to force me to drop from my position as alpha, or, they wouldn’t want to marry me at all in fear of being called weaker than the wife.” She chuckled out weakly as she turned to stare at him. “I mean…. I’m not a Luna right? I’m the alpha. So what would he be called?”
“You have a point there.” Harley chuckled out as he thought of a substitute. “I guess just husband.”
“Exactly.” She smiled slightly with a nod. “It would be embarrassing, even for me if I was a man.”
“I don’t think I’d feel embarrassed about it.” Harley shrugged his shoulders as he glanced towards the floor. “I don’t feel embarrassed being a beta with you being the alpha, being stronger than me. In fact, makes me admire you so much and makes me eager to keep helping you stay the strongest for as long as I can. Seeing you win every fight that night on your selection got me excited and proud at the same time. The way you handled them was really…. Gosh I can’t even explain the excitement I felt watching you win.” He smiled as he glanced at her, only to notice she was staring at him wide eyed. As though shocked he was saying what he was saying. “I admire you, Hope. Not in a jealous way, just in a way that makes me wants you to keep getting stronger than any man around with me being your second.”
“I love you, Harley.” Hope said out breathlessly, getting his face to flush out. “I mean as your best friend of course. If you were just a man I was in some kind of romantic relationship with, I think I would have fallen in love with you already.” She chuckled out as she rushed to him and wrapped her arms around his neck. “You know, I sometimes wish you had a duplicate that I would fall in love with.” She whispered as she shut her eyes, finally feeling better with the divorce in mind.
He stared ahead as his breath caught in his throat.
Exactly as she had said. If only he had a duplicate she would fall in love with him. Not Harley.
Just because she doesn’t see him as a man.
That’s why.