I stopped and looked at them one by one, as if wanting to say something, and asked if they could clarify what they were saying. When I spotted Turstin, he had his face hidden, so I couldn’t see his grin. Every time I observe his small motions, my head becomes hotter. My father is the one I want to call to explain and tell me that what he is saying is only a joke. When everyone else was smiling and I was the only one with an incomprehensible expression, I walked away without looking at them, despite the fact that I could hear my father calling me out loud.
Why now? Why is it just now? He had several opportunities at the time, but he did nothing with even one of them. He squandered every chance that came his way. It’s as though he wasted time, and now that I’m thinking about forgetting him and the things he did, he’s doing these things to me. I know he was a part of the plan because if he hadn’t been, he would have been astonished by what he discovered, but he wasn’t. He still appears pleased with what is going on, and my chest tightens as I consider how enjoyable it must be in his eyes to toy with my heart.
“Ava! ” I hastened my pace as I heard his voice following me again. I’ll just return to the hospital and relax there. I didn’t even check to see whether the driver had carried my baggage home. I walked faster so he couldn’t catch up with me, but because his steps were so large, he quickly got my hand to stop.
Because I was probably pregnant, I didn’t see that my tears were already trickling. I was no longer acclimated to my habit because of my unpredictable emotions. Even if I don’t want to be hurt by the tiny things, I can’t help but do it since I can’t control the feelings I will have in response to the things that will be done to me.
When he saw me sobbing, his eyes turned sorrowful. I quickly grabbed my hand because I felt like he was piercing me every time he touched me. I looked at him with dejection in my eyes, as if I wanted to ask him what else he needed because he had already crushed me. Because of the agony I was experiencing, I was almost alright. I don’t know where to place the terrible agony that I’m having since it’s overflowing.
“What else do you need from me?” Perhaps my eyes have turned bloodshot. As I questioned him, I remembered the ladies he’d met, despite the fact that he knew I’d had feelings for him for a long time. Even though we had just ended having sex, I was particularly taken with the final message I saw on his phone. Because of what he did, I even beat a toy. I appear to be a naive child, which is OK no matter what he does to me; what matters is that he can take care of himself, which is perhaps my worst error. I let him do that to me because that’s what I think I’m comfortable with; I’m not aiming any higher because I thought it’s too much for me.
When he didn’t respond, I turned around and continued going. I didn’t look back at him and persisted on my way to the gate, notwithstanding my heavy footfall. When I stepped outside, a cool breeze blew, as if they were communicating something. I wrapped my arms around myself and welcomed the howling chill. When I yawned, I resumed my stroll, fighting my tiredness.
That night, I visited Winter twice more. It was her loss when I initially went to her since she already knew her son had died. The second was that once I finished eating, I returned to watch over him. Turstin insisted on following me, but I ignored him and pretended he was only a gust of wind that I couldn’t see. But I don’t show it to Winter because I don’t want her to be concerned about me anymore. I didn’t want to say anything further since she was thinking too much.
My only issue is where I sleep every night since I still don’t want to go home. I want them to apologize to me for their rash choice on my behalf. I didn’t notice Tusrtin, who looked to be here and planned to remain next to me, until I went to the building where I could rent. That’s why I sought for a place; I didn’t want to see or be with him, yet he’s still clawing here.
When I spoke to the owner, Turstin simply followed me like a restless cat wherever the road led. The landlady is elderly, and I was fortunate that she provided me with a deposit. We had just finished discussing restrictions when she looked at my stomach. Oh, no! Is my stomach truly visible? She asked with a smile, and I couldn’t move to her question since I knew Turstin could hear her.
“How long have you been pregnant?”