What they say is walking away from the person you love is the hardest thing or decision that is hard to make. You don’t know how to stop your feet every time it wants to stop walking away from the person you love. You can’t hold the steering wheel because it’s like a car driving away.
I look away while boarding the plane. How many times have I told myself that maybe I was just in a hurry and I don’t want to leave but no matter what I hold on to my feet it’s like they have their brains and know what to do? Thinking about Turstin, I keep asking myself when it all started? When did my heart start beating for him? I want to laugh but I’m holding it back.
When was the farewell sweet? Isn’t it supposed to be a bitter goodbye?
I dropped my head out the window. Now I think that Turstin and I have nothing else in common because of our daily quarrels every time Winter is with us. Conceivably, that’s where it all started?
I touch my stomach. I don’t know if I will be able to carry the child without a partner. Once we had sex, I didn’t think anything would happen right away. I was very excited but I did not inform Turstin because of the messages I had seen that were sent for him. I don’t want to squeeze myself into him anymore. Perhaps what I did was right and I needed to stop. Although I was reluctant to leave Winter in that condition, I had no choice but to leave.
I wonder what life awaits me as I get off this plane. What life would I face because even my parents didn’t know where I was going and why I was leaving.
—
“W-what?” Just getting on the plane makes me want to fly back! It hurts my head to try to figure out what’s going on. The amount I planned while on the plane, as well as what will happen, will be returned to me as soon as I step off. But I don’t have a case to cover the cost of the ticket! However…
“Yes. She has lost her son and I think she needs you more now. ” It was Alex and the voice was full of concern. I tightened my grip on my stomach. Sweaty gooey. What if the same thing happens to me? I can’t handle it and the thought of it.
“Okay, I’ll be back tomorrow. I’ll just rest.” After I said that I turn off the call. I rubbed my forehead because I was suddenly stressed but I also immediately shook it out of my mind because I was afraid of what could happen to me.
—
But when I came back, I didn’t expect who had met me, I was just about to enter the hospital. His angry eyes did not leave me because he wanted to fill me with questions but one of his questions was more dominant in my ears and it seemed to echo.
“Why did you leave suddenly?”
I couldn’t look him in the eyes because I lacked the guts to do so. Winter was also not awake when I got to the hospital. I observed that his attention was drawn to me rather than the problem. I felt like punching him in the face because he was simply staring at me. Alex, on the other hand, was merely looking at the tranquil sleeping Winter, and his concern was visible on his face. His devotion to Winter is genuine and sacred. But, as always, I have questions. How long will their love continue to remain this way? I, like Randall, don’t know how long that love will be there because of the number of secrets they have, and I’m afraid for Winter if I abruptly leave.
I even approached Winter to have a better look at her face. Despite the fact that we haven’t been able to meet in a few days, she has shed a lot of weight. I wanted to embrace her because I understood how painful it was for her to lose her baby. Anyone who could lose a child would be insane. But what happens when Winter discovers her kid has completely disappeared?
After two hours of waiting and Winter still asleep, I decided to go home first. I just said goodbye to Alex and I still don’t pay attention to Turstin. His eyebrows furrowed when he noticed that I had no intention of noticing him even though his eyes were already fixed on me.
“Alex, you take care of Winter first, I’ll just rest in our house and I’ll come back when I’ve regained my rest.” I smiled at him, I also stared at Randall who had been an idiot in the peaceful sleeping Winter. Even in her sleep she can be said to be tired. She slept peacefully but I wondered what kind of dream she had now. Is she having a nightmare? I want to enter her dream and say that everything will be fine too.
I still don’t know what happened to Winter. Maybe I’ll ask later when I’m back. I still don’t talk to Randall because even if I wasn’t the one he did wrong; the anger was laughing at me. I know he didn’t like what happened but is it right for his wife to see him with his ex? That’s all I know. That’s all Alex told me, I’m out and I haven’t waited any longer. But just as I walked out the door there was a voice calling to me and I didn’t know if I should be angry because he was just like his cousin Randall. I can’t really get the Adams.
As I went, I pretended not to hear anything and accelerated my pace. He doesn’t appear to be interested in stopping. When I realized that there were a lot of people waiting in the elevator, I went to the fire exit instead. I wish he hadn’t seen me. I just slid down gently because I was scared that if I rushed, my baby and me might harm.
I didn’t have a car, so I gave my baggage to the cab driver earlier, and I’m hoping he delivered them. There are no major items and merely clothing there, yet they are nonetheless significant to me. Fearing that Turstin might catch up with me, I tightened my steps on the stairs, but I still had to take care. I checked to see whether he had followed when I got to the second level, but I don’t think he noticed me come in.
I reduced my stride and gasped for air. I brushed away the little droplets of sweat that had formed on my brow. Given the fact that it wasn’t particularly hot, water immediately accumulated on my brow as a result of exhaustion. When I finally made it to the ground floor, I exhaled a sigh of relief. I paused for a few seconds before opening the door, but I quickly backed away when I noticed a man gazing at me. I admit being startled. I saw him as if he were a ghost.
“W-what?” I can’t think of anything to say because the faster my heartbeat, the more I hear. I wanted to be swallowed by the soil because I had told myself that I would never let my heart react to him again, but even our baby appeared to be toying with me and saying that he knew his daddy. I didn’t follow through on what I intended to say, so I took a step back, and he took a step closer to me.
“What are you doing?” At long last, my question was straightforward, yet the anxiety in my heart remained. I wanted to take another step back, but he stopped me. He drew me in and wrapped his arm around my waist, like if he didn’t want to let me go. I pressed him, but it appeared that he didn’t want to let me go. If my body hadn’t changed and I hadn’t been carrying a baby, I might have been able to push him even more. Our baby is just a few weeks old, yet it already seems to be thinking in terms of butterflies.
“What about you, what do you think you’re doing?” he questioned loudly, although he didn’t grab me tightly it seemed enough to touch my stomach. His eyes were unmistakable, and he just peered fearlessly into mine; I couldn’t fight gazing at him. Every time he stares at me, I feel like I’m in heaven. These are the eyes I used to seek, but I’m just lazy because they constantly display disinterest.
I attempted to pull his arm away from my waist, but it just tightened, indicating that he had no intention of releasing me. I glared at him since I was already hungry and he was making my headaches worse. I still have to come back here later, and I have no intention of having a reunion with him and acting as if nothing occurred between the two of us. I also avoided him for a few months; I planned to leave the country for a long time since I still had a lot to take care of, but on the day I plan to depart, I went with Winter because I was also suffering from regular headaches and was often hungry. I had an idea what was going on at the time, but I denied it in my head.
And when everything found out, I prepared to flee once more. I’ve already asked my father for assistance since it would be quicker if I did. Turstin also didn’t try to contact me after what transpired between the two of us, but it appears that he has no intentions to pursue me, so I just accepted that perhaps destiny was not for us. Cupid did not provide us with the arrows that we would wield. So now he’s here and behaving this way; I’m not sure what else he wants; I thought everything was enough what I showed him before, so I’m not sure what purpose he has for stirring up trouble again.
I also wanted to know what he wanted. I’d like to know why he’s acting this way now only for his own convenience. I’d like to know whether he has ever considered how I feel. Why does he obviously think it’s alright for him to act this way all the time? Is it because he realizes he only has one thing to say to me that I obey? I realized how hungry I was for his affection. I then started to wonder how miserable I was merely to get the small attention I desired.
“I’m not sure what you’re saying, so please keep your distance from me,” I added, seeing him stunned by what I said. I didn’t budge and tried to push him again, this time much more easily. He must have lost strength as a result of what I did to him. Because the door was open and I had swiftly exited, I tried to peek back at him and noticed that he was still staring and standing where we had been prior. My tears poured on deliberately as I went. I let my tears run because the doctor indicated it was a pregnancy symptom, and I simply let myself release the tension.
I expected him to stay where he was and not follow, but I was astonished when he took my hand and dragged me to where he was going. I take my hand away from him, but he holds our hand so it doesn’t slip out of his grasp. I gazed at him, then at my hand, which I had been wanting to do with him for a long time. He doesn’t appear to mind what we do as long as we get where he wants us to go. Then he came to a halt, and I noticed the cabs queued up.
“I can go home by myself,” I said, rolling my eyes at him, and he let go of my hand. I walked over to the nearest available cab and rode there. I was waiting for him to depart when Turstin sat next to me, which surprised me even more. The cab began, but I continued to push him. “I can do it, why are you here?” I wanted to yell at him, but I only lowered my voice down due to the driver.
“Why can’t you be sent home right now?” He lifted an eyebrow at me, his demeanor feminine. I paused my conversation and simply gazed out the window. When there was traffic and we looked to be able to tolerate it, I returned my attention to him, who had appeared to be staring at me first. Before I spoke, I pushed his face away.
“Since you have a car, why don’t you just drive it? You see there’s no room, leave me alone,” I grumbled, despite the fact that the spot was very large. Tustin was irritating me so badly that I no longer expected him to respond. Maybe my baby will look like him when it comes out because I’m always tease by him.
“You’re my future wife, so it’s only right that I look after you and make sure you’re safe.”
I was taken aback by what he said.