We’ve taken our seats at the table. I’m fondling my nails because I’m at a loss for words to tell him. She was his mother, and I know that if it wasn’t easy for me to speak the truth, it wouldn’t be easy for him to accept that his mother was the true perpetrator in his wife’s parents’ deaths.
“I know it won’t be easy for me to explain it to you, but I want to tell you what I learned about the mastermind despite the death of my parents.” I can’t look at him. My focus is solely on my hands while I’m playing with them. I continued until I didn’t hear his voice.
“Your mom … She turned out to be the main suspect in the death of my parents.” I didn’t tell him why I knew it, as long as I just hung my words there. I looked up at him when he still didn’t respond to what I said.
He was staring at me intently. There was no other expression on his face except one of guilt. My brows came together as I realized what that expression meant. The agony reappeared, but this time it was the result of a different condition.
It felt as if I had been stabbed in the eye and sedated because I was the only one who didn’t know. How long has he been aware of this? Why doesn’t he say anything? Why do I believe I’m the only one who gets caught up in issues like this? No, it isn’t a simple thing, since it is already a part of my existence. Why didn’t he inform me? I’m his wife, and I’m that family’s daughter! As I spoke, I bent my head.
“So, after all this time… You know? Is it only me who doesn’t know?” I’m uncertain whether he can hear me because air is already pouring out of my mouth, which is towards the floor. I’d want to hear the opposite of my one predicted response of his.
“No. I’m uncertain if she killed with a basis. I attempted to learn everything I could. I prefer not to conclude without first taking my hand.” He came to a halt and held my hand in his. “That is why I am investigating, and I am still requesting some time to discover the truth. I reckon I don’t want you to love me if you don’t remember me. I don’t want you to embrace me when my mother is the one who caused you to suffer. Furthermore, I don’t want you to waste your love on someone like me who lacks the courage, to tell the truth.” He bowed and still held my palms. “Please give me more time and space to investigate everything. Please help me.”
In his final remarks, his voice seemed miserable to me. At these moments, I want to hug him. Was it why he appeared hesitant to me at the time? But what was the source of his rage toward Archer and Helena?
“Then why are you mad at Archer and Helena?” I asked as I tightened my grasp on his hand. “Did they harm you in any way? At the time, I assumed they were your partners in the company’s hijacking of me.”
“That is not true!” he said, instantly defending what I had stated. He refused to let go of my hand. “They jeopardize me that if I join you and your company, they will reveal my mother’s secret. I’m not sure how they’d do it. I felt it would be better not to make a major problem, and I didn’t want you to become involved, so I never interfered with your business. Sorry.”
Because of what he was saying, I gradually got clearer. Every time I walked on my feet, it was as if a light went out in his universe. It seemed as though he was likewise walking in his world, and every step he made was him typing words, so I could comprehend him.
When I took my hand away from his, his eyes widened, filled with fear and worry. Was this the dread I instilled in him as a result of my previous refusal to fully understand him? I wanted to avoid finding out the truth, so I abruptly departed.
I approached him and hugged him. I will not abandon you now. I swear to God that I will do my best to understand you. If I grow exhausted, I’ll simply relax and regain my strength. I have no intention of quitting now that I have a better understanding of you. We’ll both have to deal with the impending storms.
He did not instantly respond to what I did and became a stumbling block. He probably didn’t expect what I did, since it might be the same-he expected me to back away from him.
“Did it hurt before?” As I hugged him, I placed my palm on his chest which was now forceful. “Are you scared that I will do it again?” I didn’t take my hand away and sobbed because of what I was doing. Of all the things I have done to him in the past, I have never apologized. I always think that I am disadvantaged, consensus, and always longing but what about him?
I didn’t know he was protecting me, even his mother. “How hard is that for you?” I asked him another question. “I’m sorry if I didn’t join you in your fights before. I’m sorry because I’d rather doubt than ask how you are. Fear filled my heart, but I didn’t consider if you were afraid either.”
I listened to every heartbeat as though to say, “Everything will be fine.” Because I was carrying the shield, and he was wielding the sword, he no longer had to keep the battle to himself.
“Yeah … It’s exhausting.”
I gripped him even tighter as he buried his face in my neck. You don’t have to go through it again. I will never forsake you.
That was our stance until he turned to face me. Although I could still see the black rings under his eyes, his face no longer appeared exhausted. With his penetrating gaze, he examined which one.
“The first thing we need to know is what Archer intends to say about my mother. We’ll know if Mommy is truly to blame when we find out… or they are.”