“Y-yeah,” I say, my cheeks burning at his query. Because I’m embarrassed, I want to hurry inside and hide under a blanket.
“Good.”
I was not halted because of what he stated. I grabbed Randle and dashed inside the room. Even though it was difficult, I ascended the steps without hesitation. I even spotted Ava and Turstin, who appeared to continue joking until tomorrow because they hadn’t stopped yet.
“Winter!” Ava yelled, but I didn’t glance back because I didn’t want her to notice how my cheek looked like a tomato. Randle was unhappy with how I handled him, but he never complained.
When we went to the room, I locked it because I was afraid Ava or Turstin might pop out of nowhere and tempt me with how I looked. I instantly leaned against the door and slipped Randle onto my legs, allowing him to get down and walk. He strolled right up to the bed and appeared to be playing on the side since he couldn’t climb. I returned the phone to my ear to speak with his father.
“W-what?” My current demeanor is reminiscent of my adolescence. It felt as if the person I admired was speaking to me, and I was at a loss for words since my heart was racing so quickly.
“Nothing.” He chuckles and looks elated at the effect he’s having on me. Honestly, we didn’t go through Randall’s pace like this when we were still married.
All I almost did back then was suspect him; doubt him. I’m busy finding out what’s true. Aside from maybe our communication with each other is lacking, that’s also what’s missing in our married life-the sweetness. We thought, perhaps, as long as we have feelings for each other, that won’t go away. It was like a fire that was losing its flame, but we did nothing to strengthen that fire. We didn’t explain to each other what was missing, we thought everything was just enough.
I didn’t say anything, just smiled, and kept an eye on Randle in case he had something to do when I couldn’t see him. My grin can’t be removed; it’s as if you’ve already painted it on my face and won’t be able to remove it. I simply leaned back and waited to hear what he had to say next. To have the certainty, even if this is how we both settle, is delightful. I don’t have to worry about tomorrow, and I don’t have to overlook the future.
“Do you have something to do tomorrow?” He asked.
Even though he couldn’t see me, I shook wildly as if my head could be taken. When I was dizzy from the shake, I caressed my lip. Fortunately, Ava and Turstin hadn’t heard me say I was going and would leave Randle with them, and they may have asked why that had been canceled.
“No. I have nowhere to go and plan to just stay here at home. Why?” I immediately banged my head because I added, “why?” It’s like I’m expecting something from him to offer me.
“My day is free tomorrow and I have nothing to do. If you allow me, I will take you both to the park, and let’s have a picnic.” He fell silent after that. While I was thinking about the possibility of seeing him. “Kids like parks. I am guessing if Randle wants that too.” Because of his tone, it was as if I could see him scratching his head.
“How will those who see you? What if you suddenly have an issue because of it? We are not married anymore.” It was as if my heart was pierced with something as I thought about it. “And Charlotte is already your fiancée.” I walked over to the bed where Randle was, lay down on the mattress, and raised my hand as if reaching for the ceiling. “I don’t want to be the reason you will be ruined again.”
I closed one eye because I seemed to feel drowsy as I laid my back on the soft bed. But my spirit was quickly awakened when someone suddenly pulled my leg. When I looked down, I saw Randle pulling my leg, so he could climb. I just let him. I let go of the phone when he came up, and I clapped for him.
“Good job, my baby!” I took his hand so he could clap too.
“Gush shab!” He laughed, mimicking me. Because of his laughing, he put his palm over his lips. I chuckle at what he does and at his words, which no one understands even somewhat. There are days when his words are clear and days when you feel like you need a translator from another planet simply to comprehend what he’s saying.
He also sat next to me and hugged me with his little hands. When he acted like this, he was sleepy, so I patted him. I grabbed up my phone, opened it, and checked to see whether Randall and I were still on the phone, and I noticed that it was 34:00 minutes. I can’t believe we’ve been speaking for so long.
I ran my fingers through Randle’s hair to help him sleep. Not only that, but I caress and brush my fingers like this because he will sleep faster every time I am doing this to him. I didn’t turn off the air conditioning when I left, so it’s still turned on. I’ll just give Ava money to compensate her for allowing us to stay with them.
When I noticed that Randle was asleep, I softly whispered to Randall on the other line. “Sorry for that. I put Randle to sleep because it’s almost time.” I am still lightly patting his side legs, so he won’t wake up.
“Mmmhh.” That’s what he said on the other line and got silent too.
I took my phone out of my ear and checked at the screen to see whether we were still on call, and it was, but why isn’t he talking anymore? When I looked up at the top of the phone, it was almost 10 p. m. I waited for another two to five minutes to see if he was sleeping.
He’d already slept off while waiting for me to talk on the other end of the call. My errand will continue tomorrow. I’m not certain if we’ll continue to the park tomorrow because I haven’t received his response.
I basically gaze at my phone and sometimes let go to look at the ceiling. I could only move my eyes, since moving my body could wake Randle up. I couldn’t sleep because I couldn’t believe it was all real. I felt it would be better not to sleep because I was frightened that the Randall I was talking to would be gone when I opened my eyes again. Maybe nothing changed when I opened my eyes.
But no matter how hard I fought not to, my eyelids were already shut. They desire to close as if to reassure me that everything was alright and that I just needed to rest. Before eventually falling asleep, I embraced Randle.
And waking up… he is no longer beside me.