When I opened my eyes, I knew I’d just close them again because I didn’t want to face the truth. The world appears to be collapsing around itself. I want to go back to sleep and remember what occurred earlier. That scene is never over. But whatever it was that narrowed my eyes, it felt like an avalanche in my chest.
My eyes were open, but my spirit was still haunted by what had transpired earlier. I was just staring at the ceiling, waiting for something to fall from the sky and hit my head, causing me to comprehend the reality. Or maybe I’m just waiting for a rock to fall on my head so that when I wake up, I’ll be back in time.
My tears are falling like rain in a storm. Tornadoes and tsunamis are examples of severe weather. My sorrow is how powerful those calamities were. I feel like a kid who has had a treat snatched from me. I feel like a child who was left behind by my parents because I needed to study. My breathing was obstructed by every sob I had. I’m not sure where to go, since every time I sit down, I want to lie down again to rest.
Finally, I did nothing except rising. Before I departed, I took a brief look around and remembered the part where we did that thing. The wounds I left on him will serve as a reminder of how long I’ve been in his life. When that’s gone, I’ll just leave it to Heaven to decide. In the end, I knew I made the most of every moment.
It was late at night when I got out of that place. I looked to the side where the taxi was. I spontaneously walked my feet there. I was so thankful that it wasn’t locked. And it was like a thorn was pulled out of my chest when I saw my bag there.
“Mommy!”
Just as I closed the door, I heard Randle’s voice. Tears condensed at the corners of my eyes. Looking up, I saw him with Ava and Turstin. There was a car behind them, and I smiled sadly when I saw Ava crying. She seems to have talked to Randall.
I looked up so that my tears would not continue to fall and wiped away the water that had accumulated. Even though it was dark I knew Randle could still see the redness in my eyes, so I took a few breaths before finally getting close to him.
He immediately hugged me. I returned his hug tightly. I could smell his father’s scent on his body. I cried in his arms because of that. I just whimpered and Randle didn’t move, he didn’t ask either.
But that stopped when he pulled something out from behind him. He had a big smile when he released a perfume. I took it from his hand, and I was stunned by Randall’s perfume.
“W-why? Where did you get it?” There were still sobs in the middle of my words, but I wiped away the tears.
“It was given to me by Daddy.” He added, “I’ll give it to you because you’re probably crying right now.” He replied, “Just smell it because he is still doing something and solving problems, but he will return.” I wasn’t sure what he was saying because he didn’t state it explicitly, so I was perplexed, but he still brought out a piece of paper.
I read the contents of the paper and embraced Randle again as I read what was written.
“I know I have no right to ask you for this, but please give me some time to sort everything out. I need to solve everything. I’ll present you at the altar again.”
Ava and Turstin were talking loudly in the car as we were driving. I also laugh when they make a joke. Everything seemed to go smoothly because of the paper Randall gave to me. That was all I wanted: for him to tell me what I should do, so I knew what to anticipate.
I’ll wait if he wants me to. I’ll leave if he wants me to. Everything he requests that I believe would be beneficial to him, I will provide. What is the point of waiting for a little while? Hopefully, when everything is in order, he will let me learn more about him, and he will allow me to embrace him anytime he bears a big weight. I am willing to help him with any of his difficulties as long as he raises his hand because even though he hasn’t done so yet, my hand is already outstretched, waiting for him to accept it.
“I’ll leave Randle with you tomorrow, Ava. I’m just going somewhere tomorrow to run an errand,” I stopped them off in their chat. She glanced at me. Turstin’s cheek was pulled away from her face as Turstin wants to kiss her. My brow wrinkled; we may have had an accident as a result of what he was doing.
“YOU MOTHER FUCKER! LOOK WHERE YOU ARE GOING, AND YOU MAY SEE HELL AND YOUR FATHER SATAN EARLY!” Ava’s shout made me wonder how Turstin had come to put up with her. I think this woman acted even more manly than Turstin.
I covered Randle’s ear in case he found some more words that weren’t appropriate for the child. Ava slaps Turstin on the arm while the man avoids it. Well, it looks like I will just go to talk to them at the house, and they might not understand what I’m saying right now.
“BABY, ONCE IN A WHILE, BE SWEET WITH YOUR HUSBAND! WE’VE BEEN MARRIED FOR TWO YEARS, BUT I STILL NEED TO FORCE YOU JUST FOR A KISS.” Turstin’s words boomed around the vehicle. I then took one of my hands to Randle’s ears and placed it in my ear.
“Baby your face! Do I look like a fetus? Do I look like a baby?! Go to church so that you will be scared of what you say! Your daughter will be two years old next month, and you act like that!” Even though Ava says that I can still see her blush. I secretly smiled because I could see Turstin has an impact on her.
Even when we arrived at their place, they did not end up joking with each other. I brought Randle with me while I carry in the bag. The couple came in first, followed by Randle and me. While strolling, I felt something ring in the bag I was carrying.
This bag also contains my phone. Fortunately, the battery is not yet dead. Randle simply observes what I do. When I pulled out my phone, Randall’s name appeared across the screen. My heart rate rose unexpectedly. I answered the phone and passed it to Randle since I wasn’t ready to talk to him yet because of what had happened to the two of us earlier.
Randle was confused at what I did, but I softly whispered “daddy.” He put it to his ear and held the phone with both hands.
“Hello.” He said using his tiny voice.
He fell silent, then looked up at me. I raised an eyebrow and squatted to level the height of the two of us. I also pressed my ear to the phone to hear what Randall was saying. I did not speak so that he could not hear me. When I glued my ear to the phone, I touched my lips because of what he asked.
“Where is mommy?” His voice sounded drowsy.
Randle gives me the phone, but I don’t pick it up. I shook my head at him but closed my eyes when he answered. Children don’t know how to lie.
“I’m next to her, the phone is also in her ear, but she wants to avoid talking to you.” My eyes widened, and then Randle handed me the phone. I also had no choice but to take that.
“Does your private part still hurt?”
I bit my lip because of his question.