I swallow the lump in my throat. “A hundred.”
His face falls and he rolls to his back to look at the ceiling, exhaling heavily.
I watch him, and I feel guilty for pushing him when he’s obviously not ready. “Let’s just leave it for the time being. We can come back to this subject in six months. You’re right, we haven’t been together long enough for this,” I admit.
He listens, not saying a word.
I lean up onto my elbow and kiss his lips. “Okay? We won’t think about this for a while? I don’t want to stress you out about this.” He purses his lips, and I get the feeling that the subject is already closed in his mind. I don’t know what else to say, so I get up.
“Where are you going?”
“To shower.” My eyes hold his, and after a moment, when he doesn’t respond, I turn and walk into the bathroom, closing the door behind me.
I have no words for him. I don’t know what to say.
Willow is sitting at the table, her face solemn. It’s 6:00 p. m. on Saturday night and Lola has just cancelled plans with her. She’s clearly disappointed. Julian is cooking dinner and Sammy is in the bath.
“What’s happening, pumpkin?” I ask as I blow into my coffee cup.
“Nothing.” She shrugs.
Julian’s glances at her, and then he frowns at me in question. I force a smile and I shrug.
I’ve kept myself from Julian today and given myself time to lick my wounds. I’m still hurt. I keep wondering what would have happened if I hadn’t found that letter. Would he have gone through with it?
It’s going to take me some time to get over yesterday. I still can’t believe he actually booked a vasectomy.
A little voice inside me keeps telling me that we really are incompatible. He has to be unhappy for me to be happy, and vice versa.
I have no idea what to do with this new information, or how to feel about it.
I just know I can’t deal with the thought of losing him, so I’m pushing it to the back of my mind to deal with later.
“Do you want to go see a movie and have some dinner tonight?” I ask Will. “Just the two of us?” Her face lights up. “Really?”
I look at Julian. “Is that alright?”
He shrugs. “Yeah, if you want. Sam and I will watch a movie.”
This could be just what I need, a night away to clear my mind.
Willow smiles broadly and hunches her shoulders.
“Have a look what’s on.” I smile at Willow
She excitedly takes out her phone and Google’s the movie timetable. “There’s one on at nine. That would give us time to get dinner beforehand.”
I smile at her excitement. “Okay.” She jumps off the chair excitedly. “You’re the best.” She runs off upstairs. “I’m going to get ready.
I smile to myself. Julian comes over and places his hands on my shoulders. He bends and whispers into my ear, “She’s right. You are the best.”
I put my hand over his and smile sadly. “And you’re still on my shit list.”
“I wouldn’t have gone through with it.”
“But you thought about it.” I sigh.
He bends and kisses my cheek. “I’ll make it up to you when you get home.”
“You are banned from my body,” I whisper sadly. “Forever.”
He turns my head and kisses my lips. “We’ll see.”
Willow and I walk out of the movie at 11:45 p. m. The movie was funny and we laughed out loud the whole time. I needed this night with her to regroup. Our arms are linked as we walk back to the car.
“So what happened with Lola tonight?” I ask.
“To be honest, I think she’s out with someone else.”
I frown. “Why do you think that?”
“I was reading on her phone the other night after she fell asleep on the sofa at our house, and a message came through from a girl asking her to go to a club called Kitty Cats tonight.” I listen as I watch her. “Did you ask her about it?”
She shakes her head. “No.”
“Why not?”
“I didn’t want to be the jealous girlfriend.”
“Maybe they’re just friends?”
“No, I searched on Facebook and Instagram. They only became friends a week ago.”
My face falls. “Oh.”
“And then, when she messaged me tonight to cancel…” She shrugs again. “I don’t know.”
“Well, maybe she didn’t go to this club Kitty Cats.” I smile, offering her some hope.
She rolls her eyes. “God, I’m off dating already.”
I widen my eyes. “That makes two of us.” I sigh sadly.
We get into the car, and I glance across the road and see a hot pink neon sign.
KITTY CATS
My mouth falls open. “Oh, look, is that it?” I point.
Willows’ eyes widen and she cranes her neck as we both peer through the front windscreen.
“Google it. See if it’s the same place?” I whisper.
She takes out her phone and reads the address out. “That’s it. Gay and Lesbian bar. Kitty Cats.”
We both stay silent as we watch a few groups of girls and boys walk in.
“I wish I knew if she was in there,” Willow whispers.
“Yeah, I know, right. To be a fly on the wall.”
We continue to watch on as people pile in.
“Can you go in and see if she’s there?” she asks me.
“What?” I glance over at her.
“Can you just go in for five minutes and see if she’s there? Please.”
“What are you going to do while I’m in there?” I frown.
“Stay in the car. I’ll lock the doors.”
“And what are you going to do if she’s in there with someone else?”
“Break up with her.” She widens her eyes at me like I’m an idiot.
I scowl and cringe. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Will. I don’t want to leave you in the car.”
“You’ll be five minutes and the bouncers are right there. Nothing is going to happen to me. At least then I’ll know for sure.”
I think on it for a moment. How else will she find out if Lola is a snake? It’s not like they know any of the same people. She could cheat on her for another two years until Will is old enough to go out, if she’s that way inclined. I bite my thumbnail as I stare across the road.
“If I go in, I’m just going to do one lap of the club and that’s it. If I don’t see her, I’m coming out and we are leaving straight away.”
“Yeah, okay.” She says as she stares through the windscreen.
I glance over at her. “What do I do if I do see her with someone?”
Willow frowns. “Don’t let her see you. Just leave.” I bite my bottom lip as I think on it. “Fine. I’ll scope it out a bit.” We both stare out the front window at the club in front of us. “Are you going to lose your shit if she’s in there with her?”
She shrugs. “I’d rather know so I can break it off before she does.”
I exhale heavily. “Yeah, okay.” I grab my bag, take my phone out and grip it in my hand. “Call me if you need me. I’ll be five minutes… max.”
She smiles and hugs me. “Thank you. You’re the best.”
“Wait. What do I do if a girl cracks onto me?” I whisper.
She smirks. “Tell them you’re in love with my dad.” My mouth falls open.
She laughs softly. “I’m not stupid, Brell.”
I raise my eyebrows. “At least one of us isn’t” I sigh.
I have no idea what else to say, so I get out of the car, cross the road, and I walk up to the doorway.
“Fifteen pounds, thanks,” the doorman says flatly.
“Jeez,” I mutter. “Expensive.” I pull out my purse, pay the fee and walk into the club. It’s dark with a large dance floor in the middle. It’s completely packed, mostly with girls.
Jesus, this scene is alive and kicking.
I look around and try to get my bearings. The song Let me Think About It by Freddy Le Grande is playing. I love this song, so I begin to groove a bit as I walk through the crowd. This song reminds me of my situation with Julian at the moment. Let me think about it.
Okay, focus. I’ll just do one lap.
I’m not going to find her even if she is in here, anyway. It’s completely packed. I begin to walk through the club to the beat of the music, looking around as I do. The dance floor is going off, and I smile as I watch the girls getting down and dirty as they dance.
This place is cool.
I get to the back corner, and all at once the music stops and the lights come on. What the hell? I frown as I look around.
A voice comes over the loudspeaker. “Identification check.”
Huh?
What the hell? I turn to walk out and see about twenty police checking identification at the door.
Jesus, it’s a sting operation.
I push my way through the crowd, and I’m just about at the door when my eyes widen.
A policeman has a hold of Willow by the arm and he’s dragging her towards the door.
What the fuck? I run after them. What in the hell is she doing in here? I told her to wait in the car. They bust through the front door as Willow struggles to break free. “What are you doing?” I call. “She’s with me.”
“Show me your identification?” the policeman says to her.
Oh no.
“I… I haven’t got my wallet on me,” she stammers.
“She’s with me, we’re leaving now anyway,” I say as I grab Willow’s arm. My heart is beating wildly.
The policeman jerks her backwards. “Not so fast. Give me your wallet,” he snaps.
Willow slowly retrieves her wallet and passes it over.
The policeman goes through it and reads out her student card.
Willow Masters
Aged 16
“We got one,” the policeman calls to his friend.