I laugh out loud. “I haven’t heard of those kind of fairies.”
“Yes, only the very good get them.”
“Ah, that explains a lot. What are you doing today?” I ask.
“With the fam. You?”
“Same, I go back to New York on Wednesday.”
“I have some time off. Can I come and visit?” he offers.
I scrunch my eyes shut. He’s asked me this before, and I don’t want to go there with him. I know what’s going to happen if he comes to visit me. Our conversations skate along the edge of flirting often.
“Not yet,” I reply. “I’m not ready for visitors yet. You’ll have to stick to your Christmas fairies for a while.”
He chuckles. “Okay, your loss. You can’t really compete with doubled-pussy fairies, anyway.”
I laugh. “Undoubtedly.”
“Eliza!” my mother calls. “Dessert.”
“I’ve got to go.”
“Okay, I’ll call you next week.”
I smile. “Bye, Henry. Merry Christmas.”
“Bye, Lize. Have a great day.”
Nathan
January
“Hi, there,” the sexy voice behind me rasps. “Where have you been?”
I turn, surprised. “Stephanie, hi.” I force a smile.
“Have you been avoiding me?” she purrs.
I chuckle. “I couldn’t even if I tried.”
“This is true.” Her sultry eyes hold mine, and I know she has something on her mind. Stephanie always has something on her mind. And, yes, I have been avoiding her like the plague.
“What are you doing tonight?” She goes up onto her toes as if distracted. “Do you want to get a drink?”
“Ah.” I raise my eyebrow in frustration. “I thought we already established this.” I exhale heavily. I need to just come out and say it…again. “That’s not a good idea, Steph.”
“Why not?”
“I told you already. I’m not into you that way.”
“She’s not coming back, Nathan.” She snaps.
“I know.”
“So, let me get this straight. You won’t sleep with me because you don’t want to upset her.” She puts her hand on her hip in a huff. “But you’re not even together anymore. Isn’t that slightly ridiculous?”
My temper bubbles close to the surface. “Listen, not that it’s any of your business,” I whisper angrily. “It’s true, Eliza will never know if I slept with you. But I’ll know. Since you are a trigger for her, I’m not fucking going there.” I glare at her. “I have told you this, time and time again. I am not having this conversation with you anymore.” I become exasperated. Her constantly trying to get into my pants is really beginning to piss me off. “Get it through your head. Do you fucking understand?”
“You owe her nothing. I can please you in ways she never could.”
“Goodbye, Stephanie.” I turn away from her. “Keep this up and I don’t even want to talk to you anymore as a friend. It’s getting ridiculous.”
She grabs my arm, leans in and whispers. “Let’s have a party for three with your ex!”
“Let’s not.” I roll my eyes. “And I don’t sleep with him, either.”
“Because of her?”
“Yes. Because of her.” I whisper angrily. “Robert and I are just friends. That has been well and truly established since I…” My voice trails off. Why am I explaining myself to her? “Goodbye, Stephanie.”
I walk down the corridor and into my office. Fuck.
How in the hell did I ever think that woman was attractive?
I need a vacation.
Eliza
February
“Happy Birthday, Alex.” I smile down the phone.
“Ah, my favorite girl.” He laughs. “Thank you, Lize.”
I miss this guy. “How are you?”
“I’m good, how are you?”
“Great,” I lie.
“How’s New York?”
“It’s good. It took a while to get used to but I’m getting there.”
“When are you going home to San Fran?”
“Ah…” I hesitate. “Soon.”
“Mom said she saw you last week. She makes up excuses to come to New York and have lunch with you, you know.”
I laugh. “Oh, I love her. She makes my week when she comes to visit.”
“Have you spoken to Nathe?”
“No.” I sigh. “I haven’t heard from him.”
“Have you called him?”
“No.”
“How long has it been?”
“Six months or so.” My heart constricts at the mere mention of his name. “Is he okay?” I hold my breath as I wait for his answer.
“He misses you.”
I close my eyes. “Has he said anything?”
“He won’t let me talk about you at all. I have no idea what’s going on with him. He goes fucking psycho if I even mention your name.”
“Is he seeing anyone?” I ask nervously.
“Not that I know of.”
“I left him a letter.” I exhale heavily. “I honestly thought we would work this out, Alex.”
“What did the letter say?”
“Why I left, and how I was giving him space to finalize his past. I told him that I would be here waiting for him with open arms when he did.”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Yes, of course.”
“Why didn’t you two go to couples therapy?”
“What do you mean?” I frown.
“Well, you had so much to lose, and he was seeing a therapist at the time, so why didn’t you ever go and see the quack with him and get professional help with all this shit? You’re both so stubborn that you can’t see the woods for the trees.”
I frown. “I never thought of that.”
“Well, I was thinking about you the other day, and I wondered.”
“Who is his therapist?” I ask.
“Elliot someone.”
“Yes, I remember.” Hmm, I think for a moment. “I’m going to look this doctor up and maybe call him.”
“It can’t hurt. And hey, why don’t you call Nathan while you’re at it?”
“I’ve nearly called him a million times.” I smile.
“So…why didn’t you?”
“You know why we broke up, right?”
“Yes, it’s the tragic version of Pride and Prejudice.” He sighs.
“Why would you say that?”
“Well, your prejudice and his pride.”
“I don’t have a prejudice.” I frown.
“Yes, you did.”
“How?” I scoff.
“Well, you feared he was going to go back to a man.”
“That’s a legitimate fear, Alex.”
“If he was straight and you met him, would you fear that he would go back to another woman?”
“Well, no… but, that’s different.”
“That’s how Nathan sees it… in black and white.”
“That’s not… that’s not a prejudice, Alex.”
“Isn’t it?” He pauses for a moment. “Did you treat him the same as you would have treated a straight boyfriend?”
My heart sinks. I didn’t. I was led by fear. “Look, I know I wasn’t the innocent party in this. We both handled things badly. But I tried to save us.”
“How?”
“The letter. I begged him to work things out and come find me. He never did, Alex. What was I supposed to do? Call him every day and beg until he gave in? He needs to want this, too. There are two of us, and I’ve made my wishes known.”