Eliza
My eyes widen. What the fuck?
“I don’t want to hear it!” Nathan snaps. “How did you know where I live?”
“Umm.” Robert’s nervous eyes flick to me, rattled by Nathan’s cold reception. “I…. um-”
“You what?” Nathan bellows, making me jump. “How do you fucking know where I live?”
“I followed you home from work,” Robert whispers.
“You what?” Nathan erupts.
“I just…” Robert’s voice trails off, and his eyes come back to me.
“You wanted to say this in front of Eliza.” Nathan sneers. “Is that it?”
Robert stays silent.
“Answer the fucking question!” Nathan bellows.
“She… she needs to know,” Robert stammers. “When she said we couldn’t speak anymore… she needs to know it isn’t possible. She deserves to know the truth.”
Nathan must have told him I don’t want them speaking. I pause as I look between them.
“I’m going to go out for a while and give you both some privacy,” I say quietly.
“Don’t you dare go anywhere, Eliza!” Nathan yells.
My eyes widen.
“I love you,” Robert says, his eyes searching Nathan’s. “And I know you still love me, too.”
My heart stops as I watch him. Robert’s hair is dishevelled and his eyes are crazy. He seems desperate. This would have taken a lot of courage to come here and do this.
“You’re too late,” Nathan tells him. “I’m happy. For the first time in ten years, I’m fucking happy. You think you can barge into my home and want me back? No, you’re too late.”
Robert shakes his head as if panicked. “Don’t say that.”
“I’m tied to Eliza now,” Nathan whispers as if forgetting I’m here.
I begin to hear my heartbeat in my ears, and I put my hands over my mouth. This is too much to handle. I drop my head as I process that statement.
Tied to Eliza.
Not I love Eliza. Not I want Eliza. I’m tied to Eliza.
The baby.
He’s tied to me because of the baby. Emotion overwhelms me, and I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to hear this. I feel the need to protect myself take over. I walk out of the kitchen and into the living area.
“Eliza!” Nathan yells. “Don’t you fucking leave!”
“I’m not going anywhere,” I fire back. Fuck you. I want to be anywhere but here, listening to this.
“Get out!” Nathan yells. “Leave now, Robert.”
“You’ve been begging me to come back to you for years,” Robert cries. “I know you still love me, Nathan. It’s not too late for us.”
Horror dawns. What?
Nathan’s been begging for Robert to come back to him for years?
My eyes well with tears.
“Get out!” Nathan cries. His voice cracks, betraying his hurt, and I screw my face up in pain.
He does still love him. I can hear it in his voice.
“Please,” Robert begs, and I can tell by his voice that he’s becoming upset.
“Don’t touch me,” Nathan whispers angrily, and I know that Robert has reached for him.
I close my eyes. I can feel Robert’s pain.
“Don’t come near Eliza again,” Nathan whispers. “You wait until I’m finally happy and you think that you can show up here and upset her?”
“I’m not trying to upset her,” Robert cries.
“Well, you are.” Nathan yells. “And you’ve upset me. Get the hell out of my life, Robert. You’ve fucked me up for too long.”
Oh God. This is bad. This is really bad.
Nathan never got over him. A piece of the puzzle clicks into place.
This is why he has never had another relationship. I close my eyes as I listen.
They fall silent.
What’s happening?
“Please…” Nathan whispers as if pained. “Just go. Leave me be.”
“I love you.”
“Go!” Nathan bellows as he loses all control.
I screw up my face to stop myself from sobbing out loud, I drop my head into my hands.
“I said go!” Nathan yells.
“No!” I hear Robert cry, as if they’re in a scuffle. “Don’t do this.”
I run into the kitchen to see Nathan dragging Robert toward the door by the arm. He opens the door and hurls Robert out into the corridor.
“Stay the fuck out of my life!” he yells before slamming the door hard. He marches up the hall to our bedroom.
The tears roll down my face, and I look at the back of the door.
Do I go out there and check on Robert? Is he okay?
What do I do? What do I do?
I hear the shower turn back on. What’s he doing?
I walk back into the kitchen, and with a shaky hand, I pick up my wine and sip it.
I wince. It tastes like poison.
Everything tastes like poison… even my love.
My heart is hammering hard in my chest…what the fuck just happened?
I can’t stand this. I need to see if Robert’s okay. I march to the front door, open it, and I peer out into the corridor. Robert is gone.
I walk back into the apartment and into the bathroom.
Nathan is in the shower, the water falling hard over his head. His face is in his hands.
His devastation so real that I can feel it.
“Nathan,” I whisper.
He remains silent.
“Are you okay?” I ask softly.
“Leave me alone,” he murmurs.
I screw up my face in tears. That’s not what I needed to hear. I turn and walk out into the living room and fall to the couch in tears. Can this week get any worse?
Nathan stays in the shower for over an hour, and with every minute that he’s in there, a little more truth sinks in.
I’m tied to Eliza now.
I’m pregnant by a man who is still in love with his ex.
I thought he loved me.
How could I be so stupid as to fall pregnant?
Oh, fuck.
What happens now?
I have a child with him, carry on with our farce of a relationship, all while knowing that, deep down, his heart is with Robert?
Pain slices through my chest. This isn’t how I thought it would go. Oh, this hurts.
Nathan finally appears. He’s in his boxer shorts, once more, and his mask is firmly back into place.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers.
I stare at the floor, unable to drag my eyes to his.
“Why are you crying?” he whispers as he sits down next to me and takes me into his arms.
“Do you want to be with him?” I ask.
“No.” His eyes are sad-so much pain behind them. “I love you. I want to be with you.”
My eyes search his. “Do you still love Robert?”
He stares at me, but doesn’t answer, unable to push the lie past his lips.
My eyes well with tears, the lump in my throat is so big, it hurts.
“I want to be with you, Eliza.”
“That’s not what I asked, Nathan.”
“I have a history with Robert but my future is with you. I’m sorry he came here. I’m sorry you had to hear that.”
He holds me in his arms, but I don’t feel loved.