I sit at my desk and stare at the computer. I feel sick. My stomach is a ball of nerves. In ten years, I’ve never seen Nathan like that before. He was so angry-so hurt.
How do we get over this? What do I say to fix this?
And where is my period? Why is it late? I did everything right. I took the pill every day at the same time. I waited the time before I had sex. How long was it?
Fucking Jolie. I’m going to kill her with my bare hands. But I know I can’t blame her. This is my fault, and Nathan has every reason to be furious with me.
Please, don’t let me be pregnant.
This is not the way I want to have a child.
I can’t be. I did everything right. The doctor told me that I would be protected after a week, and I waited for that time. I go through my diary and work out when I went to the doctor. I count through on my calendar and count the days. It was actually two weeks to the day, before Nathan and I had unprotected sex.
My phone buzzes in front of me. The name Jolie lights up the screen. I look around guiltily, stuff it, I want to talk to her and give her a piece of my mind.
“Hello!” I snap.
“Oh my God. I am so fucking sorry. I don’t even remember what happened. Brooke called me and told me this morning.”
“How could you say those things?” I whisper angrily.
“I don’t know.” She splutters. “Last thing I remember, we were talking about it, and then I drank too much and…God, I’m a nightmare.”
“Yes, you fucking are,” I bark. “Poor Nathan.”
“I’ve already called him twice to apologize but he won’t answer my calls. I’m just really worried about you, Eliza, and I don’t know why but it all came out wrong.”
“Do you blame him?” I whisper as I look around.
“Fuck, I’ll keep trying to call him. I left him a message.”
“This all could have been avoided if you weren’t such a fucking idiot.”
“I know. I’m going. I have to try him again. I feel terrible.”
“And so you should. Goodbye.” I hang up in a rush. She pisses me off.
How could she say those things to him? Adrenaline is pumping through my veins.
I try to calm myself down and go back to my pregnancy scare. Shit, this week is just horrendous. The kind you see on cable.
I type into Google. How long after starting the contraceptive pill are you covered?
The answers pop up, and I read through them. They’re all the same.
The Contraceptive Pill does not protect a woman from sexually transmitted infections. Birth control pills protect from pregnancy after seven days of use but it’s best to use a backup method (condoms) for the first month after taking the pill to be safe.
What?
A backup method.
A month. What do you fucking mean, a month? I begin to hear the panic as it screams through my veins like a river rapid.
The doctor told me seven days. She was positive. If I had of known…
I put my head into my hands. “Oh my God.”
“Excuse me?” a voice says. I glance up. “I’m here for my post-surgery consult.”
The girls are all on lunch and I am covering reception. “Oh, yes.” I fake a smile. I glance through the booking list. “Mia, is it?”
“You should know me by now. I’ve been in three times this week.” She snarls.
Okay, rude bitch. I type into the computer. “Sorry, I’m not normally on reception.” I frown. Why has she been in three times this week? “Is there something wrong with your wound?” I ask.
“There’s nothing wrong with my wound. The entire procedure was a disaster. I asked for this picture. I wanted them bigger, more natural looking.” She shows me a picture on her phone. It’s of an eighteen-year-old girl with perky, natural breasts. Not that I can tell, because she’s had so much work done, but I think this woman is in her late thirties. She’s never going to look like this.
Henry is a surgeon, not a miracle worker.
“And I can tell you now, my boobs don’t look like this. I want a redo or a full refund.”
“I see.” I force another smile.
Seriously…fuck off, cow. I am not in the mood for your shit. I’ve got way bigger problems than your tits.
“Let me go and see Dr. Morgan, and I’ll be right back.”
She sits down on the couch and folds her arms in a huff. I walk up the hall and softly knock on Henry’s door.
“Come in.”
I open the door. “Hi.” I close the door behind me. “Mia Schofield is here.”
He exhales with an eye roll. “Yes.”
“She’s carrying on about her surgery.” I wince. “Sorry.”
“I know. This is the second time I’ve done them. I did them two years ago. She wanted them bigger and complained then, too.”
“She showed me a picture of a-” “I’ve seen the picture. Nobody is that talented.” He exhales heavily and sits back in his chair. “Send her in.”
“Okay.” His eyes linger on my face. “Hey, are you okay?” he asks softly. “You’re not your happy self today.”
“Yeah.” I fake a smile.
“Still fighting with Nathan?”
I shrug. I feel so fragile that I may just burst into tears any moment.
“You know, you can talk to me at any time.” He places his hand on top of mine on the desk. “I’m here for you… as a friend. I’m an excellent listener.”
I smile, grateful for his kindness. “We’ll be okay, it’s nothing serious,” I lie. “Just teething problems. It will be fine.” I give him a smile and make my way back to the crazy woman in the waiting room.
“Just go in, he’s waiting for you.”
I watch her march up the corridor and close the door behind her.
I exhale heavily. This job sucks. I miss nursing. I miss looking after children-beautiful, sick little children who need me and are grateful for every smile. If I get offered this job at the private hospital, I’m going to take it.
I’m not cut out for cosmetic surgery. This isn’t my calling.
* * *
I stand in the kitchen and sip my tea. I called Nathan and he said he wouldn’t be long. He was short with me, and it’s clear he’s still furious. I don’t even know what he’s going to say when he gets here… or if I want to hear it.
I’m nervous as hell, and I still don’t have my period.
Where is it?
I hear the key in the door before he comes into view. My eyes instantly well with tears at the sight of him. He looks like shit, and it’s obvious that he didn’t get any sleep last night, either.
“Hi.”
“Hi.” His eyes hold mine.
“I’m sorry, Nathe. I just wanted to talk to someone, and I know it should have been you.” I watch him as my stomach swarms with butterflies. “You know, I was just scared to share my fears with you.”
Empathy wins, and he exhales heavily. “Don’t cry.” He sighs as he takes me into his arms and I press my face into his shoulder as he holds me.
“I don’t want this to come between us,” I murmur.
“Let me have a shower and we’ll talk, okay?” He brushes my hair back from my forehead and he looks down at me.
I nod, hopeful for the first time, all day. He begins to walk off and I cling to him. “Can you just hug me for a moment, please?” He holds me tightly, and we stand in each other’s arms for a long time. I’m feeling so fragile and clingy.
“I love you,” I whisper.”
“Do you, Lize?” he asks softly. “Or do you just think you do? Because from where I’m standing, it doesn’t seem like it.”
I close my eyes in sadness. “Nathe, I only told the girls what had been said to me, not that I believed it. Zavier rattled me, yes, I can’t deny it. But put yourself in my shoes for a moment.”
He exhales heavily. “Let me shower.”
“Okay.” I kiss him softly again, and he disappears up the hall.
He kissed me. There’s hope.
I get back to making dinner, and I put the chicken in the oven and pour two glasses of red wine. Then, I stare at my glass and frown.
What if I’m pregnant?
I take a sip with a shaky hand, and then I pour my glass down the sink.
Fuck, this is a disaster.
The apartment phone rings. I frown and pick up. “Hello.”
“Hello, Miss Bennet. It’s Roy from concierge.”
“Hi, Roy.”
“I have a visitor here for you. He said you are expecting him.”
“Who is it?”
“Robert Scott.” My eyes widen. What? Nathan must be expecting him. “That’s fine, send him up.”
I pour myself another glass of wine. One glass can’t hurt, surely fucking not.
Moments later, there is a soft knock on the door, and I open it.
“Hello, Eliza.” Robert smiles. He leans in and kisses my cheek. I know Robert from over the years. He’s a nice guy. Handsome and sweet.
“Hi.”
“Is Nathan home?” he asks nervously.
I frown. I thought he said he was expected. “Yeah, he’s in the shower.” My eyes hold his. “Does he know you’re coming?”
“Um.” His eyes dart up the hall to where the shower just turned off, and Robert twists his hands nervously in front of him. “No.”
The hairs on the back of my neck stand to attention. ……Something feels off.
Nathan walks up the hall in his navy, silk boxers, and he stops mid-step when he sees Robert.
“What are you doing here?” he asks.
“Um.” Roberts eyes flicker to me nervously. “I wanted to talk to you… both.”
I look between them.
“I wanted Eliza to hear this from me, out of respect.” He shrugs. “I don’t want anything underhand.”
“Stop!” Nathan snaps.
“When you cut all ties this week-,” Robert whispers.
“Stop, right now.” Nathan growls. “I mean it, Robert.”
It’s as if Nathan already knows what he’s going to say.
My eyes flick between them as they stare at each other. You could cut the air with a knife.
“I broke up with Liam,” Robert says. “I can’t be with Liam… because, I’m still in love with you.”