Drinking the Pain Away

CHAPTER 26- Drinking the pain away
JASMINE’S P. O. V.
Eli has been a delight this morning. If anything he has been a helpful distraction. His father is a delight as well, if it wasn’t for the nagging of an answer, it would be pleasant to spend time with him. Christain and Eli are loading up in their vehicles and I am bidding them goodbye. Eli has gotten a little sad. I gave him a kiss on the cheek and promised to see him soon. Christian is standing next to the door, while I am talking to Eli. “His cries are making me want to kidnap you.” He chuckles.
I slide out of the car. “Not an option. It is breaking my heart though.” I am now standing next to him. He reaches out a hand and slides the back of his fingers along my cheek.
“I plan to be back in a couple of weeks.” He leans in and kisses my cheek very softly. “Until next time.” He whispers. I simply nod. Christian smiles and climbs in next to Eli.
I watch as they leave. As soon as they are out of sight, I pick up my phone dialing Zoe. She picks up on the second ring. “What’s up girl? Ready to party?”
“I am ready to drink until I can’t anymore. When are you ready?” I replied.
“Whenever you are. You sound like shit, what happened?”
“I don’t want to talk about it. Jay and I will be there in about an hour and a half. Be prepared to get me drunk.” I am walking back into the pack house as I talk. I want to get drunk as fast as possible. I can’t stand this pain.
“Hunter isn’t coming?” She sounds confused, not that I blame her. Hunter and I have been inseparable for days.
“Hince the drinking. Whiskey please.”
“I got you girl. See you soon.” I click off the phone and go to hunt down Jay. He hasn’t been that far off all day. I am sure it shouldn’t take long to find him. Sure enough he is inside the door waiting for me to come back in.
“So, he is serious. He wants you to marry him?” Jay asks when I come back in.
“Yes, he is serious. Just because Hunter doesn’t want me, doesn’t mean that other guys don’t.” I know this isn’t Jay’s fault but the anger is rising as I think about it.
“I didn’t say that, and you know it. Hell there was a time that I wanted you. Hunter loves you. You are just too damn stubborn to realize it.” He has a little bit of anger coming out too. Why?
“If you want to hang out with me today, you won’t say shit like that.” I growl out.
“Sorry. I just don’t like this guy swooping in like this.” Now I get it, he is defending my honor again. Just like always.
“Didn’t ask your opinion.” I am not in the mood to hear the Hunter parade.
“Well, I am your best friend so I am going to give it to you. Don’t rush into this.”
I turned on him. “Jay, I am going up these stairs right now to get ready to go to a party that my friends are having for me. I am going to get drunk and pretend that Hunter doesn’t exist. If you want to come with me, then you are going to cease any talk of Hunter or this engagement. I love you, but I will kick your ass if you don’t listen to me.” Anger is boiling up in me so much that I can’t help but lash out. I don’t want to be like this with Jay, but he won’t stop. I want it all to stop.
“I’m going.” He is final, but I can still see that he is not dropping this.
“Good, then tell Carlos we are leaving in an hour.” I storm up the stairs. I just want to stop feeling right now.
Once I climb the stairs, I walk into my room, taking off my shirt as I come in. Once I have it unbuttoned, I start taking my hair out of its bun when I turn I see Hunter standing in the corner. I stop and grab my shirt to close it. “Don’t stop on my account.” His cocky swagger is back. Damn asshole. Why the fuck didn’t he say anything when I came in? He let me start to undress in front of him. If I am so disgusting to him, then why did he bother?
“What the hell are you doing in here?”
He puts his hand up showing me his phone charger. “I thought you were out, so I just came to grab it. Then you came in.” He sets it down on the bed and inches towards me. “I am glad you came in.”
“Hunter, you need to leave.” I am inching back as he comes closer.
“Jasmine, you know you really don’t want me to. You feel the bond still. Just listen to me. Just for two minutes.” My back has hit the wall. I find I am lost in those deep brown eyes.
“Two minutes.” I sigh.
“It was a spell. I didn’t do this. I was made to do it. I would never do anything to hurt you.” He is close enough to touch now. “I love you. Baby, please you have to believe me.”
He reaches out to take my hands. That is when anger kicks back in. “So the last two years of making me feel like shit were what, a game? If you didn’t want to hurt me, then what was that.” I try to pull my hands from his. He tightens his grip. “Let go of me.”
“Baby, I can’t.” He pulls me tighter. Pressing his body into mine, essentially pinning me between the wall and him. “I need you.” He whispers down in my ear.
This fucking mate bond. It’s making me want to give in. He lets go of one hand and takes the back of my neck in his. He starts nipping at my jaw and neck. Clearly he is avoiding my lips, he doesn’t want to be bit again. “You feel that baby. You need me.”
I reach my hand up and grab the back of his hair. I yank as hard as I can. “Yeah, I feel it and it disgusts me. That I would still want someone who would do that to me makes me sick.” He lets out a little whimper as I yank harder. He takes a step back to ease the pain.
“Baby, I didn’t do it.” I see the pain in his eyes. I am not sure if it is from the rejection or the way I am ripping at his hair. That beautiful dark hair that I love to sink my fingers into. Shit, not now.
“Sure the fuck looked like your tongue down Allison’s throat. The same tongue you want to ram into mine.” I snarl. I start pulling him by his hair towards the door.
“Baby, you have to listen. I don’t want Allison, I want you.” At that I threw him out the door.
“I am moving on, I suggest you do the same.” I slam the door in his face. Tears stream again. How can I still want him? There is something wrong with me.
I look on the bed and see the charger sitting there. Damn it. I link Kaylee, a wolf in the pack that usually takes care of the needs that arise. “Kaylee, I need a box about the size of an arm load. Can you bring one up to me?”
“Sure thing Princess.” Yeah, she is another one that calls me that.
While I wait for her, I finish getting dressed. I pull out a blue t-shirt and a pair of blue jeans. After I have slipped them on I throw my hair up in a messy bun. There is a knock on the door. I reluctantly answer in case it is Hunter. It’s Kaylee with the box. I take the box with a thank you.
Now comes the hard part. Filling the box. I place the box on the bed and start with the charger. I take the clothes from the closet and fold them nicely. It comes to the clothes in the hamper, I am lost. Do I wash them first? Do I just throw them in a bag? I decided to throw them in a bag and put the bag in the box. I don’t get very far though. As soon as I pull out one of Hunter’s shirts his scent hits me. I wind up clutching it while I cry. It seems like I was just complaining about him leaving the damn things on the floor and now I don’t know how to part with it.
After several moments I throw the shirt back in the hamper. I will deal with it later. I take the box and put it on the floor on his side of the bed. Well, that side anyway, since he doesn’t have a side of the bed anymore. I check myself in the mirror and decide that I am ready. I don’t really need to take much to go to this party.
At the front steps is Jay, he really didn’t change. “All ready to go.” I call out to him.
“Yep. Carlos will be around in a minute.” He smiles at me. Clearly he is trying to get back on my good side. That is fine as long as there is no mention of Hunter.
We both step out to wait for Carlos. He doesn’t take long. Now there is just the long ride to Zoe’s. Jay is looking out the window. Almost like he is afraid to speak. Now I am the one wanting to talk. “Do you believe him?”
“Hunter? Yeah, I do. Your dad does too.” Jay doesn’t hesitate to answer, this has me questioning my resolve.
I wave him off. “He doesn’t count. He loves Hunter too much. Do you know what kind of spell?”
“They said it was a desire spell. She was spraying it.”
“Hum. Alright.” I nod and look out the window.
“Have you seen the video?” He finally looks over at me.
“Why the hell would I want to see that? I didn’t know there was one anyway.” I keep looking out the window. I didn’t want to talk about this, why did I bring it up?
“You should before you cast any judgements.” He states it simply.
“The matter is already decided. I was just curious.”
“I don’t think you really want to throw what you two have away. I think you are hurt and upset. Then some guy comes along and offers you an easy solution and you are willing to take it. It’s a cop out and you know it.”
“Jay, you barely know Hunter. He has been doing things like this for two years. This was just the worst. He likes to make me feel like shit.”
“If Hunter told you two years ago that he was in love with you. But then you found out that he wasn’t your mate, do you think that you two would have been able to work together?”
“I don’t know. I am not a cruel person, Jay. What does any of this matter? This hypothetical is irrelevant. He wasn’t in love with me two years ago and we are mates. So I don’t see why you even asked the question.” I haven’t even turned to look away from the window.
“You both are the same, you know. You both do stupid shit out of fear. He did it then and you are doing it now.” He doesn’t elaborate, but it is clear that he is irritated with us both. He has his arms folded over his chest and his gaze is intent on looking out the window and not at me.
“I have no idea what you are talking about, but I really don’t care.” I say confidently.
“Of course not, that is why you plan on going to this birthday party and getting wasted. Because you don’t care.” I can hear the sarcasm in his voice. He knows I am hurt and he isn’t going to pretend that everything is ok. Can’t he see that I just want it all to go away?
We remained silent after that. It would seem that if we say anymore there is going to be an argument. I know I am not mad at Jay. At least not intentionally. He didn’t do anything wrong. I just need to let off steam. I know exactly how to do that.
When we get to Zoe’s it is just getting sun down. Carlos tells Jay to call when we are ready to be home. He will be close by. I don’t even care at this point. Let Jay be the responsible one. I go straight in. Zoe greets me with a hug. She knows this is what I need. Who cares who did what? As long as I get to feel better. “Happy birthday girl. Time to party down.”
I look around the room and all of my friends are here. Even Nick. Sam starts up some music. Zoe leads me to the liquor. Normally not our thing but she knew my need. After she leads me there, she takes off to talk to Jay. I can still hear what they are talking about. “Where have you been?”
“I had the flu. Nasty stuff. Sorry you all worried.” Jay responds seamlessly.
“What is wrong with Jas, and why isn’t Hunter here?” Zoe seems irritated that she even has to ask Jay these things. I get it, she is my best friend and Jay is too, but Jay knows more. This is pissing Zoe off. She wants to be the one with the answers.
“They had a fight. Real bad one. I’m not sure when they will make up.”
“I don’t even want to know what it was about. It was obviously bad enough for my girl to need to get her brains fried. Just keep an eye on her and make sure she gets home safe.”
“That’s the plan.”
After about five shots I started dancing around the room. Werewolf metabolism makes it a little harder to get drunk, but I think I am getting there. Nick decided to join me. After a couple of more shots I started blabbering. “You know Nick, I shouldn’t have left you. I would have been better off.”
At this time Jay comes over. Trying to pull me away from Nick. “Alright Jas, I think that is enough.”
Nick holds up his hand. “Let her finish.”
I smile at him. “I was saying I would have been better off with you. I still wouldn’t have a future but I wouldn’t have gotten my hopes up.”
I can see Nick’s face fall. “Great.”
Jay gives him an apologetic look. Then pulls my arm again. “Are you drunk enough yet?”
“Nope, it still hurts.” I feel myself pout. I never pout, this is what Hunter has reduced me to. A pouty mess.
He rolls his eyes. “News flash, the alcohol isn’t going to make it stop hurting. Actually talking to him will. But by all means keep drinking.”
I keep drinking. Talking to him is not an option. I don’t open presents and I don’t eat cake. At this point I don’t even know if my friends are having fun. This just sucks. I slump down on the couch and start crying. Zoe comes over and grabs me up in a hug. “I’m sorry. This is the worst party ever. I am a party pooper.” I cry into her shoulder.
Zoe laughs. “Shit happens. Don’t worry girl, we got you.” She rubs my back to try to sooth me. I wish it worked. I wish more than anything that she could just make the pain stop. I can hear my friends shuffling around the room anxiously, they don’t know what to do, but they want me to feel better. I am usually the glass half full girl and here I am a blubbering mess.
Jay comes over, “I think it is time for us to head back. She needs some sleep if she is going to make it to school tomorrow.”
Zoe shakes her head. “If she is at school tomorrow, I will eat that dress you bought for the dance.”
He picks me up and carries me outside. “Where is your phone we need to call Carlos?”
“I don’t have a number for Carlos.”
“Then how do we call him?” He sounds frustrated. I point to my head. “Great, are you even capable of doing that at the moment?”
I give him a wink and then link Carlos. I will admit that it is a little harder than it should be. When Carlos pulls up, Jay slides me into the backseat. “Let’s get her home before she gets sick.” That is about the last thing I remember before passing out.
HUNTER’S P. O. V.
There is no way I am going to sleep tonight. As it is I am hoping to catch a glimpse of her when she comes home. I am sitting on the front steps waiting. I am pathetic. I can miss her so much now, yet when she was around all the time I treated her like shit. No wonder she doesn’t believe me. I would hate me too. I just want some clue as to how she feels about me, I mean really deep down. I know on the surface she hates me. I know that she still loves me too. What I don’t know is what is stronger. Will the hate win out. I really get now where they say there is a thin line between love and hate. Jasmine is straddling it right now and I am just waiting to see which side she falls on.
I hate this doubt. All I want is her in my arms and she seems so far away. Even when she is standing right in front of me. All I can think about is the way her hair falls around her face. Like today in her room, when she pulled it out of that bun and it cascaded down her back. I wanted nothing more than to run my fingers through it. Bury myself in her arms, resting my head on her chest.
I can see Carlos pulling in. He does not have a happy look on his face. I am not sure if it is directed at me. Probably, he loves Jasmine as much as a daughter. He pulls in front of the steps and stops. Jay gets out and leans in to pick up Jasmine. She passed out. I jumped up. “What the hell happened to her?”
Jay rolls his eyes. “You and a bottle of whiskey. Apparently she didn’t know when enough was enough. At least that was all. Nick was hovering around. I had to chase him off a few times. Apparently he thought that drunk Jas was in love with him.” He pulls her out of the car and into his arms.
I suppress the growl growing in my chest. “I’ll take her.” I lean in to take her from him. At first he seems reluctant, I don’t know what changes but he relents and lets me take her upstairs. She has leaned her body into mine. As she starts to cling to me, I can feel my pride rise. She does want me. There has to be a way that she can tell. As soon as we are in her room I go to lay her in her bed, I do try to let her go, but this time she is clinging to me and won’t let go. Who am I to fight a lady? If she wants me then she will have me. I position myself so that we can lay side by side. With her clutching on my body I am able to rest.
At some point in the night her dad comes into the room. I have no idea what time it is, he simply asks for her phone and then leaves the room. I don’t know if he isn’t objecting to me being here for my sake or hers. I am just glad that he didn’t.