Hope
Kyle was no longer by my side. Instead, he was a few feet away, sparring with one of the men. I had taken a seat on a box and grabbed a rag to clean the armory. Thankfully, my heels hurt less since I wasn’t standing on them. But all my muscles hurt and my stomach kept on growling at me due to the lack of content in it.
I ignored the gnawing pain and did my task. Before this, I had never cleaned weapons but that didn’t mean I didn’t know how to. Back home, I used to be friends with a couple of guards and I would watch them wipe their weapons. I was just vexed about the fact that I was the one who was going to do such a task.
The men around had transitioned from gawking at me brazenly to whispering about me secretly. I wondered what they were thinking. They were probably jeering at my situation. How the mighty Vitalis princess was the one cleaning their stuff. I tried not to let those kinds of negative things get to me, but it was hard not to.
As I picked up the next arrow, a shadow loomed over me. I lifted my head to see Commander staring down at me with a frown on her face.
“I uh…” she cut me off with a sharp look. With her hands behind her back, she stepped away from me and went to examine the weapons that I had already cleaned up. There was obvious disdain in her expression as she looked down on them. I could tell that she was going to tell me to clean them again.
“Did you know that I’m the first female army commander that Moratia has ever had?” she asked rhetorically, picking up a sharp sword. I furrowed my brows, not understanding where she was going with such a conversation.
“I decided to join the army when I was nine and my father disowned me,” she continued. “I left my small village and headed here to train. Everyone made fun of me every day. I was bullied constantly and sexually harassed by my seniors a few times. I cried every day but I didn’t quit.” She spoke in a lost tone, like she was unaware of her surroundings and who she was speaking to.
“My younger self was stupid, weak, and naive. I trusted anyone who showed me a sliver of kindness, only to get stabbed in the back. But I grew and made sure I got my revenge on everyone who mocked and made me feel weak and pathetic.” She said spitefully, then dropped the sword, making a loud clang noise. She took a step towards me and grabbed my chin, forcing me to look directly into her dark brown eyes.
“You remind me of my younger self, and it disgusts me. I despise looking at your face more than anything.” She said, harshly, then let go of my chin and trotted away. My eyes pricked with tears. I felt like crying right there and then, but I knew that would be a bad choice, so I squinted my eyes shut. I sniffled back in the tears and blinked them away.
“It’s fine,” I told myself, then went on with cleaning the armor.
After I was done with the armors, the commander had me do some gruesome exercise in the midst of all the soldiers, just for entertainment sake. Since I was as unfit as I could be, I collapsed more than a few times. Once the commander had enough of humiliating me, she dismissed me.
While returning back to the castle, I almost died. My heels felt like they were bleeding again and my entire body throbbed. My vision blurred as I continued to walk down the hallways and my head spun.
“My lady, are you alright?” A gruff voice said from behind me. As I turned around to tell Kyle that I was fine, black dots painted my vision and my legs gave up.
*****
When I blinked my eyes open, I was on my bed. My head felt so heavy that I couldn’t even lift it up. My throat was parched beyond comprehension. I felt awful all over. I tried to move my body but I couldn’t. I could only make scratching noises due to the sheets.
“You’re awake,” I heard an unfamiliar voice say. I darted my eyes toward the direction of the sound and saw an elderly man seated on a chair with a notepad on his hand. He immediately stood up from his chair and muttered something along the lines of informing the king before he left my room.
I tried to retrace my steps to understand why I was on my bed. The first thing that came to my mind was me fainting in the hallway in front of Kyle. I felt like facepalming myself at the thought of that. Why in the world did I do that? He already hated me, I had just forced him to take care of me at the same time. I wondered what he thought of me now.
Before I could think of anything else, my door flew open and marched in my husband with an evident frown on his face. I forced myself to sit up on the bed.
“Your Ma-” he shunned with his palm, and I shut down.
“You have no idea the kind of tight situation you’ve put me through these past few days,” he sat down on a chair and crossed his legs while pinching the bridge of his nose.
“I’m sor-”
“I didn’t ask you for a silly apology,” he cut me off. “I don’t think that I’ve ever asked anything of you since we got married, but time and time again, you keep on doing things that leave me agitated and speechless.” He continued with a clipped tone.
I hung my head low, suddenly feeling embarrassed of myself. It wasn’t entirely my fault that I fainted. I just didn’t know such a thing would happen.
“Why didn’t you tell me about the injury? Do you think that if you don’t tell me something that I’d still be able to know? There are limits to my power, princess. If you don’t speak to me, I won’t know what’s going on.” He sounded so angry. More angrier than I’ve ever seen him be.
“I didn’t think you would care.” I said with a weak tone as my eyes pricked with tears.
He sighed heavily. “You didn’t think I would care so that is why you saw it fit to go around the palace half dead? Do you know what people are saying about me? There is news all across my land that I have been abusing you and that you are living under the most terrible conditions.
“Is there anything I haven’t done for you since you arrived here? I gave you personal maids, you’re fed three times a day, I gave you access to every facility in this castle, you are provided the best dresses, jewelries, everything! Everything is at your disposal. But you still choose to dress like you’re being forced to, go around the palace with such a sullen look on your face, whine and cry about everything.
“Isn’t what I do enough for you? What more do you want from me?!” His loud voice buzzed inside my head, and I broke into a sob.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Please. I just didn’t want this. I don’t want any of this. I just want to go back home.” I covered my face with my palms and cried into them.
“So that is the only thing you want, isn’t it?” Darius asked, standing up from his chair and walking over to me. He ran his hand through my hair as I looked at his emotionless onyx eyes.
“Yes. I want to go back home. That’s the only thing I want.” I whispered through my sob.
His grip on my hair tightened, and I yelped at the sudden action. “That’s the only thing you’re not going to get.” He said, harshly, then used his grip on my hair to push me down on my bed and turn his back to me.
“You will stay in this room until you’ve fully recovered. And after that, you will resume your training and do as you are told, quietly and diligently. You are never leaving this castle, bear that in mind.” He left the room after that and slammed the door as loudly as he could.
I resumed my crying. I cried and cried until I had no tears left to cry. They all lied to me. They said that they would find Light, and let go of me. Darius had no intention of ever letting me go. He was going to keep me in this castle as long as he could, just to hurt me.
I hated him for doing this to me. I hated everyone in this castle for going along with him. I hated my parents for sending me here in the first place. I hated Light for leaving me alone when I needed her the most.