“Of course I do! She’s my daughter.” For a moment, I almost believe her. For a moment, I’m almost relieved to think that she might actually love Hazel after all.
“But I’ve been going through a lot,” she continues, and the illusion shatters. Melanie doesn’t care about anybody but herself. “I’ve been going through a lot, but I’m doing the work, you know? I’m figuring a lot of stuff out. Stuff that I wish I could have figured out a long time ago, so that I never would have hurt you the way I did. I wish, I mean…I wish I could undo those things, Xavi I know I fucked up, and I’m sorry.”
I don’t say anything. Months ago, I wanted to hear those exact words more than anything. Despite everything that had happened, shortly after Melanie left, all I wanted was for her to come back. I had delusional notions about how we could rescue our relationship, how the cheating would stop if I could just understand her better, if I could just love her harder.
But eventually I realized that life without Melanie is better. Melanie is beautiful, sexy, and fun, and I was besotted with her. But she’s also selfish, cruel, and wildly unstable. Without Melanie in my life, things are calm and peaceful. All I really missed, I came to realize, was the sex. And as for that…
Well. It doesn’t bear thinking about at the moment.
“I think you need to speak to Hazel.”
“Eh,” she shrugs. “You as much as said she’s mad at me.”
“Melanie! What is it that you want here? Do you think you can waltz in here and walk out with a cheque?”
“It’s not that.” She takes a breath and turns pleading eyes to me. “I need a place to stay, Xavi Jack…things didn’t work out so well with the last guy, and you’ve cut off all my money. I’m stranded.”
“No.” I slam my empty glass down on the bar with more force than is necessary. “Absolutely not.”
“Xavi, please. One night. I literally have nothing. It’s this or the streets.”
“Then it’s the streets!” I roar.
“J. L!” She reaches for my wrist, the feel of her hand familiar and strangely recognizable, and the look in her eyes is pure desperation. “I know you’re mad. Of course you’re mad. The way I’ve been acting…it’s crazy. That’s why, I want you to know, I’m getting help. I’m getting help and I’m trying to learn how to say sorry, but how can I ever say sorry for what I’ve done? I shouldn’t be asking you for anything. I have no right. But I’m scared, Xavi Please. One night on your couch,” she points a hand towards the sectional. “One night and I’ll be out of here tomorrow. I’ll call Cathy and stay with her. Please.”
“No.” I pull my hand away and turn my back to her. I don’t want her to see it, but doubt is creeping in. I don’t want Melanie sleeping on the streets. And she’s crazy enough to do it.
“Please.” She sniffles.
I turn back around to see that she’s crying. In the nine years I’ve known her, I have never once seen Melanie cry.
“Please,” she says, wiping each eye quickly, as if her tears embarrass her. “One night.”
A wave of exhaustion rolls over me. I can’t keep fighting like this. And with a sense of futility, a dread that I may never get Melanie out of my life, I surprise myself by conceding.
“Fine,” I say darkly, turning back around and walking out of the room. “One night, and I want you out of here in the morning.”