As much as I wanted to deny the truth, it was sitting right in front of me. I couldn’t help but do a mental check over my own body. I didn’t feel different. Apart from Silver’s intrusive voice, I felt nearly the same as I always had. It would explain why my face had healed so quickly. You would think I’d be excited, but I wasn’t.
Turning into one of these creatures was the last thing I wanted. I needed normalcy. Sure, some small part of my mind wondered if I could use this against Jessy. As much as I wanted to feel guilty over that, I couldn’t.
I was yanked from my thoughts by the ringing of a cellphone. The phone in my hand was buzzing, a picture of Kat lighting up the screen.
“I’ll call you back in ten,” I answered, ending the call without another word. My eyes were still locked on the giant wolf-on Sebastian.
Sebastian walked over to a cluster of trees nestled in the backyard. I watched in silence as he returned to his human form. A pair of sweatpants hung on his lower body. His suit had been torn to shreds during his… transformation.
“I don’t want this.” Those were the first words that left my lips, followed by, “You don’t even know if I can-can turn into a wolf. I’ve never turned into one before.”
Instead of Sebastian’s face contorting in anger like I suspected, his eyes held sympathy.
“I don’t need to watch you shift to know what you are, Sophia,” Sebastian murmured, leading us back inside. My body was on autopilot. Half of me wanted to run, to get away from Sebastian and his strange family as soon as possible. The other side of me was smart, knowing if I ran now, he would only catch me.
“I can feel your wolf.” Sebastian sighed, “She’s inside of you. She will help you shift when it’s time.”
‘I tried to tell you, Sebastian,’ Silver frowned, ‘We can’t shift yet, but when we do, we’re going to need Ethan and Kieran.’
‘What’s so important about Ethan and Kieran?’ I grimaced, my heart thundering at the mention of their names.
‘They’re our mates, Sophia.’ Silver rushed the words out in an exasperated huff.
“What is a mate?” I spoke before thinking, gaining Sebastian’s full attention.
“What makes you ask?” Sebastian’s lips pressed together tightly; his eyes intense as he looked at me.
“My-wolf mentioned the term.” I shifted uncomfortably. The truth, coupled with Sebastian’s interrogating stare, made me want to flee.
“They’re like soulmates.” Sebastian spoke slowly, his own eyes glazing over as he thought of his wife.
“And-Olivia, is she your mate?” I paused, discomfort and fear swirling in my gut.
“She is.” Sebastian nodded, clearly reading the discomfort in my eyes. Sebastian had a child with another woman, one who wasn’t his mate. Silver recoiled at the thought, showing her clear disgust.
“I see.” My voice sounded weak, my head churning with the overwhelming amount of information I was being forced to process.
“That changes nothing, Sophia.” Sebastian grimaced, “You are my firstborn, which means my pack will someday belong to you.”
I wanted to scream, to shout at Sebastian until I turned blue in the face. I didn’t want a pack, a wolf, mates, or anything else that came with this. I wanted a normal life with people who wouldn’t hurt me, threaten me, or leave me in a perpetual state of fear and anxiety.
Some people spend their entire lives waiting for something like this to happen. Some kind of strange, magical calling that takes them out of their boring world. I wasn’t one of those people. I wanted a normal life and all that it entailed.
“I don’t-” I paused. What would denying everything do? Sebastian would continue to push, forcing me to accept some planned-out future he had.
“I need some time.” I gulped, my eyes darting to the staircase.
“I understand, Sophia.” Sebastian frowned, his eyes softening slightly. “I was raised knowing what we are, you weren’t. I’ll give you the time you need, but please think on what I’ve said.”
“I will.” I nodded, telling the lie effortlessly.
I retreated to my bedroom on shaky legs, fumbling to close the door behind me. I slipped out of the clothes I had worn to school. I threw on a long-sleeve shirt, followed by my heaviest jacket and a dark pair of jeans. Lauren and Darren wouldn’t be able to identify me by the clothes I wore. Lauren never paid enough attention and Darren was always too wasted to notice.
I swung my backpack over my shoulder and placed the phone to my ear. It rang twice before Kat picked up.
“What happened?” Kat frowned, “You sounded kind of flustered.”
“Nothing important.” I shook my head, “Sebastian wanted to talk to me.”
“Oh, I see.” Kat frowned, understanding clear in her voice. She knew how I felt about Sebastian. It was one of the only things I could openly tell her.
“Yeah.” I cleared my throat. My heart was hammering in my chest, anxiety wracking my entire body. I was becoming antsy, wanting to leave as soon as I could. I’d have to wait another hour until I was sure Sebastian had left the lower part of the house. I hoped he didn’t have some kind of super hearing, but it was too late to change my plan.
“Now-about that explanation.” Kat paused, clearly dealing with her own unease. “What the hell happened to your face?”
For a moment, I wasn’t sure what to say. Did I really want to do this? I couldn’t see how it would hurt, as I’d be gone before morning. Whatever happened to Jessy after I left wasn’t my fault, but didn’t Kat deserve warning against Jessy’s threat?
“Jessy happened.” I cleared my throat, fighting back the tears of frustration that formed behind my eyes. “She didn’t like that I was talking to Ethan and Kieran, so she had Lilian and her other friend help.”
“Oh my god, Sophia.” Kat’s voice was a whirlwind of emotions: anger, disbelief, shock, sympathy, and hate. “I knew someone hurt you-I never thought Jessy would go that far. I need to tell-”
“Kat, do me a favor.” I clamped my eyes shut, pinching the bridge of my nose. I knew she would react this way. All I had to do was delay her for just a few hours. She could tell whoever she wanted in the morning.
“What?” I could hear the frown on Kat’s face. “You better not ask me to keep this a secret. She seriously hurt you, Sophia. She can’t just get away with it.”
“I know-I know.” I choked out, wishing I could tell her the rest. I wouldn’t be able to fight back the tears if I told her more. They would overtake me, turning me into a pile of mush. “Just wait until morning to tell anyone, for me please.”
Kat let out a long sigh, and I could almost see the look of frustration on her face.
“Fine, I’ll wait until morning.”
“Thank you.” I breathed, remembering I had something else to say. “There is something else-she threatened you. Said she would come after you if I told anyone.”
“She threatened me?” Kat scoffed, her voice heated.
“I just wanted to give you a heads-up,” I frowned. “Just be careful around her-I think she’s kind of losing it.”
“Whatever it is, Jessy lost it a long time ago,” Kat chuckled dryly. “Don’t worry, Sophia. Jessy won’t get her claws on me.”
After ending the call with Kat, I was left with an hour to mull everything over. It was an hour I didn’t want to wait, but I had no other choice. It gave me time to think about everything. I didn’t want to dwell on what Sebastian had said. I wanted to shove it all deep down and never let it see the light of day.
What Silver had said about mates struck a chord within me. Ethan and Kieran were our mates.
“Typically, wolves only have one mate.” Silver’s voice was soft. “We have two?”
‘I never wanted one to begin with.’ I fought against the stabbing pain in my chest.
An hour passed, and I stood at my bedroom door in silence. My hand was only inches away from the handle. Once I opened this door, I wouldn’t turn back. I’d change my own life, finally live it the way I chose.
My bedroom door swung open, and I stepped into the hallway. My heart dropped to the floor as I met Krystal’s light eyes. Her eyes narrowed, eyeing me suspiciously. Whatever she was going to say caught in her throat. Her eyes widened as she took in the bag over my shoulder and the clothes I was wearing. Her eyes flickered down the hall and back to me.
“He’s in his office,” Krystal murmured. “You have fifteen minutes before my mom goes back downstairs.”
Without saying anything more, Krystal retreated into her bedroom. I stood there, gaping at her door, replaying her words. She was helping me. Of course, it was for her own selfish reasons, but I appreciated it nonetheless. Her tone had been soft, kind even. I wanted to laugh dryly at the number of people who wanted me gone. It seemed like the number continued to grow.
I crept downstairs and out of the house easily. I planned on calling a cab with my old flip phone, the one Lauren had gotten me. I planned on walking to the little corner store, the one I had visited when we first moved here. I would call a cab to pick me up at the store, taking me to the nearest bus stop.
Fear does things to a person’s mind. It dulls all thoughts of reason, dulls anything good and supportive. Fear consumes and burns until there’s nothing left. Fear had formed in me the night Jessy attacked and had been boiling and festering ever since.
Fear puts you in a constant state of fight or flight, pushing everything else to the back of your mind. I wasn’t thinking of Kat, Ethan, Kieran, or anyone else. I was thinking of myself, of running from the fear that scorched my insides.
Even as I stepped out of the cab and walked through the doors to the bus terminal, I was only thinking of myself.