Emotion and pain
Mary Davies
Immediately we stepped into the hospital, I noticed the different smell profile right away. The smell of antiseptic, with undertones of the artificial fragrance contained in soaps and cleaners.
We walked towards the reception area and went Straight to the Nurse’s Desk, three nurses were available. Although the rule here states “Shhh” which means no disturbance or any form of noise. But they seem to be caught up with something that was making them laugh. Xander walked towards them while I stayed behind him watching the nurses curiously.
The Nurses were trying to be helpful, directing us to where Xander mentioned to them. We followed their directions carefully. The hospital was a large one, so the rooms/wards were more specialized. I couldn’t help but notice the floor which was shining clean and the long corridors. We reached the patient’s floor and I noticed the smell became more intense and diverse. I could see signs in green saying EXIT and also rooms with numbers on the doors.
Some of the doors were opened and I could see the patients according to their situations, some were sleeping, some were being visited by relatives, while others had oxygen tubs fixed to their their noses.
Not all the rooms were private. (one patient in it) some of it were semi-private rooms (two patients in a single room) There was also a Ward, which consists of a long row of beds for a Charity Ward.
“Are you excited?” Xander asked, bringing my attention to him.
“Yes, I am.” I replied, smiling widely. I just couldn’t wait to see Hawk and maybe tell him everything I have in mind to say to him. I could not help but wonder how he was feeling right now, does his head hurt, would he like to eat my specially made lasagna which he loves to eat, and is he waiting for me right now and eager to see me.
We walked for a few minutes before we stopped in front of a door with number twelve written on it. Xander’s phone suddenly rang as soon as he knocked on the door.
“That is weird,” he said in response to the person over the phone.
We stepped into the room and there he was sitting up in bed with Carol sitting on a chair in front of him. He smiled immediately he noticed our presence.
“Xander, what took you so long to show up. You even brought your girlfriend.” He said teasingly.
There was silence in the room as my gaze shifted to the get well cards and the bouquet of flowers on the bedside table. It was as if a massive truck has just been deposited on my shoulders, what’s wrong.
“That is not Xander’s girlfriend. That’s Mary.” Carol pointed out as she reached out to wipe the aqua colored water glass which has a bent straw in it.
“Mary? Who is Mary. Am I supposed to know her?” Hawk asked looking confused. That statement made my chest tighten up, I felt pained he didn’t remember me but he remembers everyone else. I turned my gaze to Carol and she had this look of pity in her eyes.
I don’t like the way Hawk was looking at me like I was a stranger to him. I can’t believe I won’t even get the privilege to tease him with the most embarrassing hospital garment he was wearing.
“I’m really sorry, I can’t remember you. I’m trying to remember but I can’t, maybe you can tell me who you are, maybe that will help with the memories.”
I was about to talk when the door opened widely with a loud bang. I stepped back immediately I sighted them. It has been years since I’ve seen them. Mr Andrews and Mrs Andrews stepped in fully, they look around the room, as soon as their eyes came in contact with me, a scowl appeared on their faces.
“What is this seductress doing in here?” Mrs Andrews said, stepping closer to me. My feet were glued the ground, I couldn’t even move.
“What are you here for, are you about to seduce him again?” She asked angrily, her hands suddenly came up and she hit me right on the face. I gasped loudly as the pain registered. She just slapped me, I raised my hands gently and was about to hit her back when Hawk’s voice made me freeze.
“Dad do you know her? Who is she?” Hawk asked his father.
“She is no one important son and she will be taking her leave now.” His father replied.
“Dad can you please get your wife out of here, I can’t stand her violent behavior. I have my mother here, I don’t need her here. She should apologize to the lady.” Hawk said, looking at me worriedly.
“Mother indeed.” Mrs Andrews scoffed loudly and walked out of the room.
“She is the woman you are in love with, can you really not remember her?” Carol butted in.
“Enough Carol! Don’t make me ban you from stepping foot in here. You know what I’m capable of. Don’t provoke me, remember you are nothing.” Mr Andrews barked out.
“But why can’t I remember her, that’s strange.” Hawk said still looking at me.
“Leave right now! Before I ask the security to throw you out to the streets.” Mr Andrews ordered. I couldn’t stand the pain any longer. I walked out of the room feeling dazed, Mr Andrews followed behind me.
“I want you to leave and go far away from here. If you don’t go away, I will be forced to take the kids away from you. But I am letting you go now, take your kids and never come back. If you need money, I am ready to pay you off. I will give you as much as you want. Just leave my son alone, he doesn’t need the likes of you.”
“He is better off without you, he remembers everyone and not you. Don’t you think this is a good sign. If I were you, I will take the money and leave with my kids.”
******
When I got back to the house, I sat down on my bed and cried. Being overwhelmed with my emotions and pain. What if he doesn’t remember me again ? Hawk Andrews is not going to want me anymore because he can’t remember me? he is going to start living alone and will experience the world without me. This is the kind of thing that happens in movies and not in real life.
I began to think about the memorable moments we shared together before the accident.
“Mary,” I heard Carol call out as she stepped into my room.
I took a deep breath in then slowly let it out, I looked up at Carol. I’m sure the look in my eyes spoke the whole truth and nothing but it. It is right now that I realized I don’t want to be separated from Hawk Andrews. I am in love with him and knowing he doesn’t even know who I am makes my heart hurt badly.
It was like everything has been stripped away from me, leaving behind a trail of broken dreams. I shake my head from side to side, I looked towards Carol.
“I think I want to be left alone.” I said as a tear rolled down my eye. She rushed over to grip my left hand, she smiled reassuringly and rubbed my hands.
“You will be okay. Don’t let this defeat you, take a deep breath Mary. I promise things will work out well for you.” she said.
“Hawk is going to remember you, the doctor termed it as Dissociative Amnesia. This was not meant to happen. I think this happened because you are the only one he loves, cares about and thinks off. He loves you more than he loves himself. He would have forgotten who he was and not you. But that would have been harder. You know life is never easy but you have to make the most of it. Xander told me about what Hawk’s father offered you. You don’t need their dirty money and you are not going anywhere.”
“What if I help you get your man back, what do you say?”
“Hawk is going to be discharged very soon and he is going to be needing a maid to look after him till he’s back on his feet. No one is fit for that position except you. I want you to see this as a chance to get your man back. You can do this!”
“We are going to change your identity, as well as your looks to get you into his house. You are going to be working as a maid and assistant only with the purpose of helping him remember who you are. Once he remembers you, nothing is going to come between you both. He’s considering leaving his father’s businesses to start up his own. I want you to be his backbone and helpmate. Give him your full support and let him know he’s not alone.”
Thinking about the longevity of the moments we have spent together and how far we have gone, it was hard to believe that I would need to win back his love all over again and make him remember who I am. I am ready to do this no matter what it costs and there is no backing out.
*******