CHAPTER 142
LILY’S POV
~ “It’s not that Lily,” he countered with a defeated voice.
“Then what is?” I crossed my arms against my chest, pinning him with a hard expectant stare as I tried to keep my flaring temper in check. “Tell me because I really want to know. What makes you think I still have feelings for Robert?” ~
Even though he was right, I put on a defensive demeanour so as not to make it obvious. I didn’t know how he was able to figure that out because yesterday I acted all vicious towards Robert, and all these while that I have been asking him for help to destroy Robert was more than enough to prove I hated him with a passion. So, I was so eager to hear what he had to say.
“I don’t know, Lily,” he shrugged, his expression grave as if the answer was obvious. “Maybe it’s because you hesitate when it comes to hurting him even though you claim you hate him so much. You let chances of getting back at him slip by, always giving one excuse or the other. And honestly? It’s starting to piss me off. You’re making me feel like a fool-like I’m just some pawn in your game like I don’t matter at all.”
I couldn’t contain the level of shock that surged through my system. My mouth fell open, and for a moment, I was at a complete loss of words. I couldn’t believe he had been bearing these thoughts in mind all along but never spoke up about them until now. It made me realize he wasn’t the quiet, patient, and understanding man I had believed him to be. I used to think he had no problems and nothing bothered him. Little did I know that I was wrong.
“Don’t blame me, Noah,” I said. “I told you you can’t send someone to get rid of him because he comes from a line of very powerful family. No matter what, they’ll find out you’re behind it and they’ll come for you. Those people are brutal when it comes to anything concerning family. Are you that desperate you don’t care about your own life anymore?”
“I know that,” he replied firmly. “What about the other suggestion?”
I frowned, my confusion evident. “What other suggestion?”
“You see? You can’t even remember.” He pinched the bridge of his nose, shaking his head in disappointment before looking back at me. “The one about leaving the country. You said you’ll think about it and get back to me first thing in the morning. But you have forgotten about it because you probably have more important matters than me to worry about.”
His sudden change of behaviour was something that called for concern. I never expected he’d act like this towards me in a thousand years to come. He said he loved me and would respect whatever choice I made. But this was proving to be something more. An obsession. A dangerous obsession. He was willing to go to any length to pull me away from Robert, making it seem like we were already a couple.
Though I was petrified, I stared at him weakly, tired and wanting this conversation to end already. “I told you I’ll talk to the kids about that but haven’t gotten the chance because of everything that happened yesterday. You witnessed it. This is not a decision I can make on my own…”
“But does it really matter,” he said, cutting me off mid-sentence. “They’re just kids. You are the mother. This is a decision you can make on your own with or without their opinion.”
“No…” I shook my head repeatedly, disagreeing with what he said. “I’m not that kind of mother. I respect the kids’ choices as much as they respect mine. Ever since they were born they have been moving from one place to another. They’ve built a life here. They have friends and school here… You think it’ll be easy letting all that go and starting over?”
He sighed weakly and walked closer to me like a predator closing in on its prey, his expression darkened with an unreadable emotion. Unexpected fear gripped me. I felt this terrible tenseness in my body which was weird because Noah was the safest person on earth I could be with.
I continued backing away until I came in contact with the wall, having nowhere else to escape.
He splayed his hand on the wall to my right as if to cage me in and leaned. I felt his warm breath wash over my face, but a cold shiver ran through me. Something inside me told me to scream for help at the top of my voice or drive my knee to his crotch and dash out of the office. But a part of me that still trusted him and saw no evil in him made me remain calm, curious as to what he wanted to do with me.
“Don’t worry Lily,” he reassured softly, reaching out to tuck a strand of my hair which had fallen over my face to the back of my ear. He also wiped the bead of sweat that popped out on top of my brows, making use of that opportunity to trace the outline as if he was admiring them, my heart racing as he did. “You don’t need to be afraid because I’ll never hurt you. I love you too much to lay a finger on you or even let anyone touch a strand of your hair. I’m not a monster like Robert.”
He reiterated the last part, before sighing in resignation as if something was wrong. Yet, I couldn’t ask because of I was too scared to talk and even breathe because my breathing was becoming too shaky and loud. I couldn’t steady it.
“The thing is, I refuse to be anyone’s second choice. My whole life, I’ve been treated like an afterthought, and I’m sick of it. I love you, Lily. Every single part of you-from the crown of your head to the soles of your feet. I’m willing to overlook everything, to fight for you, to be with you. But I won’t be the man you settle for when you’re left without a choice. So, I’m giving you two weeks. Two weeks to either get rid of Robert for good or leave the country with me. If you can’t make up your mind by then… then I’m sorry, Lily, but that will be the end of whatever this is between us.”
He planted a feathery kiss on my forehead. Pulling away, he smiled weakly and left without saying anything else or looking back, leaving me to bear the brunt of his words.
I screeched down the floor like a hopeless destitute, feeling the tears burn my eyes and stream down my cheeks.
“No…” I shook my head in agony as if to get rid of a terrible thought. Not another ultimatum. I could barely hold up and was losing my mind because of the one the kids gave me. Yet, he burdened me with another one.
Notwithstanding the way he had acted today, I still valued our relationship and didn’t want to lose him. I was forever grateful to him. He and Jane were the only people who had been there for me when I needed a pillar to lean on. With his help, I was able to get this job and promotion and provide for my needs and that of my kids. Not to mention he’d saved my life on several occasions.
Two weeks. Two weeks was all it took for me to lose all that. I couldn’t afford to lose him and my job at all.
I tilted my head as if seeking help from above. I tried to blink my tears away but they kept coming, the misery I was feeling now gnawing at me like a relentlessly excruciating torment.
As much as I wanted Robert gone from my life, I was powerless. I wasn’t a murderer, and no matter how much I despised him, I couldn’t bring myself to hurt him. And leaving the country? Even though he had made plans and had it all figured out, I wasn’t ready to take such a step.
He’ll probably want us to get married. I wasn’t cut out for that either because I still believed I wasn’t the right woman for him and would only end up hurting him. I don’t want him to experience the one-sided love relationship I went through with Robert. That shit was one of the worst things that could happen to anyone.
I was left without an option now. What do I do now? How do I go about this?