CHAPTER 141
LILY’S POV
~ “Noah… Noah…please stop, I’m really not myself today,” I said, trying to stop him but that only made him double his effort.
“Don’t push me away Lily,” he said with a breathy lust filled voice. “Please, Lily. Let me make you feel better. I’ll make you feel so good you’ll forget everything about that man.” ~
Suddenly, he gripped my chin, angling my face toward his as he leaned in for a kiss, while his other hand moved lower, reaching for my right breast.
“I said I’m not in the mood today Noah!” I said with an outburst, standing abruptly and facing him with a shockingly bitter expression on my face. “Can’t you respect that?…”
“I’m sorry Lily…” he apologized, pinching his nose as though he wasn’t his usual self earlier and was just regaining his sanity. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know what came over me.”
My brows pulled in as I stared at him as if I couldn’t recognize him anymore. But he seemed so guilty and ashamed of his action he couldn’t keep a steady eye contact. The weight of what just happened came crashing down on me like a ton of bricks as I realized he almost tried to force himself on me. Noah of all people?
I was reeling from the shock of that, finding it hard to process because he was never like this. Yes, we did have casual sex in the office sometimes but that doesn’t mean he’ll expect us to be having it all the time. I’m not a fucking sex maniac and I always have work to do. His hatred and jealousy towards Robert was turning him into something else. Something I couldn’t recognize anymore.
“Please leave,” I said with a voice tinged with heavy emotion, stepping away to the other side of the table as memories of those filthy bastards he saved me from flooding my mind. The thought of them trying to force themselves on me made me shudder with disgust. The thought of Noah trying to do the same with me just shows he’s no different from them. “I can’t concentrate with you here.”
His brows drew together in an agonized expression, his jaw dropping as he approached me with desperation etched on his face. “Don’t tell me you’re afraid of me Lily. That was a mistake. You know I’ll never do anything to hurt you. I care about you more than I even care about myself. Please forgive me…”
He reached for my hands, but I recoiled instantly, backing away as if he were a plague. That left him heartbroken, his misery so obvious it was palpable. The regret in his eyes was genuine, but it did nothing to fix the damage he’d caused. How could he try to force himself on me? Not to mention we were in my office, his company.
“I don’t know what to think anymore, Noah,” I said, looking at him with a hint of hurtful disappointment. “You’re changing. This hatred you have for Robert is turning you into something else. Something I don’t like and can’t recognize anymore. If you don’t watch it, it’s going to spiral out of control. Robert is my ex, my problem. I don’t want you getting all worked up and acting like a jealous lover because of him.”
A corner of his lips twisted wryly and he looked away as if aware what I said was true but he couldn’t bring himself to accept it.
“The only reason I’m like this is because of what he did to you in the past,” his jaw tightened, his eyes conveying the fury within him. “I don’t like seeing him anywhere close to you or the kids. That shitty ass nigga wanted your death and when he couldn’t achieve it he left you in a condition worse than death. Yet…”
Suddenly, his tone lowered and he sighed bitterly as if what he was about to say next carried a lot of weight. “Yet, it seems like you still haven’t gotten over him entirely and more than anything, it grates on my nerves.”
A wave of shock hit me, marring my features as I held back a gasp. I couldn’t believe what I just heard.
“Are you saying this because I didn’t accept your marriage proposal?” I asked incredulously. “You have been angry all these while because I didn’t agree to become your wife?” I palmed my forehead, my frustration boiling in the air. “I never thought you’d be this immature.”
“It’s not that Lily,” he countered with a defeated voice.
“Then what is?” I crossed my arms against my chest, pinning him with a hard expectant stare as I tried to keep my flaring temper in check. “Tell me because I really want to know. What makes you think I still have feelings for Robert?”