If only she knew how many times I had imagined fucking her and how desperately I wanted to throw her on the bed. “The truth. And remember, I will know eventually.”
Valentina lowered her head, her shoulders tense.
“Valentina.”
“What I said in the living room was the truth,” she admitted softly, looking at me through her eyelashes. Her cheeks flushed with embarrassment.
A strange shiver ran through me at her unexpected and unwanted admission. “That’s what I thought, but now I wonder why?”
“Why is it so surprising to think that Antonio did not want me? Maybe he didn’t find me attractive. You obviously do not find her attractive, otherwise you would not spend most evenings in your office and your nights with your back turned to me. We both know that if you wanted me, if you found me desirable, I would have lost my virginity on my wedding night.”
Desirable was not a strong enough word to describe Valentina. She was gorgeous, elegant. My eyes lowered to her cleavage. During her few attempts at seduction in the early days, she had worn lingerie that had almost broken my resolve. Now I was happy that my self-control had won. If I had fucked Valentina in those days, it would have been anger-fueled, loud and fast. I would have noticed her innocence too late and might have hurt her. It was not what she deserved. Yet I knew she would never get the ‘love she craved for her first time. “I thought we agreed that I would not force you,” I said.
Valentina’s chest heaved and she blushed further. “But you shouldn’t have forced me. You are my husband and I want to be with you. I’ve practically thrown myself at you for days now, and you haven’t even noticed my body. If you had found me attractive, you would have shown some kind of reaction.
I guess I’m just lucky that I always end up with husbands who find me repulsive.”
Anger filled me. Anger at myself for being incapable of doing what I should have done on our wedding night. ” You are not repugnant to me. Trust me, I find you attractive.”
Valentina’s eyebrows furrowed in doubt. How could she believe that I did not desire her? Most of my damn thoughts in those days revolved around fantasies about how I would want to claim her pussy and mouth. I moved closer to her, trying to ignore the way my body was screaming for her to be mine. “I want this. Don’t doubt my words. Every time I catch a glimpse of the creamy white skin of your thighs…” I stroked her soft thigh, feeling goose bumps rise on her skin. She was warm, soft and mine. Shock flashed across Valentina’s face, followed by desire, calling to a side of me I was doing my best to suppress. “Or when I see the outline of your breasts through the little things you wear in bed,” I continued, unable to stop myself from touching the swell of Valentina’s breasts. “I want to throw you on our bed and bury myself in you.” The truth lingered between us and I quickly withdrew my hand, holding back my desire.
“Really? Then why…”
I pressed a finger to Valentina’s mouth, shushing her . The feeling of her warm breath on my skin brought to mind my cock in her mouth. It was a losing battle, I knew it, I had known it for a long time. “Now it’s my turn to ask questions, and you promise not to lie.” She gave a small nod, concern swirling in her eyes. “Why didn’t Antonio sleep with you?”
Valentina was a woman very few men could resist. I had seen how many of my soldiers looked at her when they thought I wasn’t paying attention.
“I promised him never to tell anyone.”
“Antony is dead,” I said. It did not sit well with me that she had chosen loyalty to her deceased husband over loyalty to me, but I knew I was being hypocritical. “I am your husband now, and your promise to me is more important.”
He looked away again. “Valentina?”
“Antonio was gay.”
I was overwhelmed with surprise. I had always prided myself on being a good judge of character, and Antonio had never behaved in a way that would suggest he preferred men. Of course, my soldiers knew they had to hide their temper or leave me no choice but to punish them. “I never suspected anything. Are you sure?”
Valentina gave me an exasperated look. As usual, it made me angry and excited at the same time. So few people dared to show their true feelings in my company. ” Sometimes he would bring his mistress home,” she said.
“Why wasn’t he sleeping with you to have offspring? That would ward off possible suspicion.” They had not been married long, but eventually people would wonder why they did not have children. That had been the case with Carla and me. He chased the thought away.
“I don’t think it would have worked. You know.” He pointed to my cock.
“Was it sterile?”
A dark blush spread across Valentina’s cheeks, making me wonder why I was still bothering to hold back. I was not a good man and trying to become one was a waste of time.
I would eventually claim her.
“No, he once said he couldn’t get it on with women.” I turned my attention back to Valentina, who seemed genuinely uncomfortable, and her words made me realize something else. She had never seen an erection.
I needed to focus on protecting the Outfit, not on the nature of my desire for my wife.
“Who was her lover?”
“I can’t tell you. Please don’t make me.”
I watched Valentina’s face carefully as I touched her upper arms, aware of the effect my proximity had on her. “If it’s someone from the Outfit I need to know, and if it’s not .
the Outfit comes first. I have to protect everyone who puts their trust in me.”
“I can’t tell you. I won’t. I’m sorry, Dante, but no matter what you do, I will not give you a name.”
Disobedience was not something I tolerated, even in my own family. Carla had never stood up to me, had been naturally submissive, but Valentina was anything but. It made me want to force her to submit. “You have lived a sheltered life, Valentina. I’ve had hardened men tell me the same thing, and eventually reveal all their secrets.”
“Then do what you have to do,” she blurted out and withdrew from my grasp again. “Cut off my toes and feed them to me. Beat me, burn me, cut me, but I would rather die than be responsible for the death of an innocent man.”
Innocent. It was not a term he would have used for a Made Man. “So he’s a stranger.”
Valentina’s expression was all the answer I needed. ” I didn’t say that.”
“You didn’t have to. If Antonio brought his lover home, I assume you have met him and know his name and can describe him to me.”
Valentina lifted her chin in defiance. Something deep in my chest stirred, something possessive and primal. I approached again, forcing her to come to terms with my presence.
“Are you not loyal to me? Don’t you think you owe me the truth? Don’t you think it is your duty? Not only because I am the head of the outfit, but because I am your husband,” I said .
Valentina squinted her eyes. It was not the reaction I had expected. “And you owe me a decent wedding night. As my husband, it should be your duty to take care of my needs. I guess we’ll both have to live with disappointment.”
Fuck it all. The problem was that I wanted to fuck her, fuck her into submission, I wanted to dominate and possess her.
It wasn’t what she needed, what a husband should do, but fuck, it was getting on my nerves. I had never felt that urge with Carla. She was so gentle and submissive that I could never have fucked her the way I wanted to fuck Valentina.
I had only made love to her.
I grabbed Valentina and pulled her against me so that her back was pressed against my chest and her firm bottom against my cock. I considered grabbing her neck and bending her forward, considered fucking her here and there from behind. Maybe then she would stop wanting me as her husband.
“I am a patient hunter, Valentina,” I said softly, stifling my darkness, my anger and my sadness. “Eventually you will tell me what I want to know.” I ran my palm along her side, feeling her trembling under the touch and my cock twitching in response. My fingertips grazed her smooth thigh, and Valentina held her breath, desperate for my touch, but not as desperate as I felt to claim her. God, I wanted to possess this woman.
My hand went up her thigh until I reached her panties.
The lace was soaked with her juices. Valentina’s arousal was like a siren’s song. She leaned into me, her breathing deepened, her nipples puckered under her light nightgown. She begged me to fuck her. I slipped a finger under her panties, stifling a moan at the feel of her warm, wet slit.
My finger caressed her soft flesh, then slipped between her folds, feeling Valentina’s softness and wetness.
“Do you want it?” I growled, my voice steeped in desire. I needed to pull myself together, to curb everything.
Losing control was not an option.
“Yes,” Valentina said. Her voice was guttural, needy. She pressed her pussy against my hand, sliding my finger over her opening. I wrapped my arm around her waist, stopping her movements. Feeling her tight pussy against the tip of my finger made me want to exchange my finger for my cock.
“I want you, Dante.”
“Tell me what I want to know.” I wasn’t even sure if it was still about extorting information from my wife because I doubted I could stop rubbing my fingers over her folds. Valentina’s breathing became deeper, her hips making small rocking movements as she approached her release. She became wetter and I had to force myself to keep the gentle touch and not finger-fuck her as I had fantasized.
Valentina began to shake, the more aroused she easily slid my fingertips between her pussy lips. Valentina leaned her head back against my shoulder. “Don’t you want me?”
Couldn’t she see it? I wanted to fuck her so hard she couldn’t walk, I wanted to pour my cum down her throat, I wanted to claim her. Her green eyes swam with need and desire, and that alone could have convinced me to throw her on the bed and show her how much I wanted her. But behind the apparent desire, I sensed her insecurity, her anxiety, her need for tenderness. I stroked her clitoris with my finger, rubbing it with the pad, and Valentina’s eyes widened in shock, her perfect lips parted as she came under my hand. My cock was painfully hard as I watched her succumb to pleasure, knowing that I could give her so much more, show her different forms of pleasure.
I wanted Valentina, I had never wanted a woman like her . And that was the problem. She was my wife. I had made a vow to be good to her and I would keep it. I would not fuck her , not when she deserved love and tenderness. My wife, not a prostitute. “I am. That’s the problem.” I let her go before I did something I would regret, and certainly something she would regret. I did not look at her again as I walked out of the bedroom, needing to put distance between my wife and me.
I did not slow my pace until I reached my office and closed the door. I went straight to the bar cabinet, making myself a strong drink. The moment I picked up the glass with whiskey, I let out a sharp breath and closed my eyes. Valentina’s scent lingered on my fingers. The sweet scent of her arousal. I wanted to savor it, to taste her. I downed the whiskey in one gulp and lowered the glass again. My cock pressed against my pants, hard and dripping pre-ejaculate.
I resisted the urge to masturbate in the middle of my office. I was not a fucking teenager and even then I had more self-control than that.
I spun around the desk and let myself fall down, my eyes going to the frame on the mahogany surface. A picture of Carla and me shortly after we were married. My chest tightened as it always did when I looked at the picture. A glimmer of guilt filled me. It was not an emotion I was very familiar with.
I had sworn to Carla that I would always love her, that I would always remember her. I had sworn it on her deathbed; I had made a vow. I had never wanted to marry after her death. I had wanted to live with her memory as I had vowed.
People thought I was the epitome of control, but I wasn’t.
It hadn’t taken long after Carla’s death before I broke my first promise, before I was looking for whores to fuck. It had been furious and desperate fucking, a way to relieve the tension and pain.
I had made peace with my sinful nature, told myself that it would not affect the vow I made because these women were nothing more than a thing to fuck. They might as well have been rubber dolls for all I cared about them.
But things with Valentina were different. I desired her, I wanted to fuck her, but I respected her, not only because she was my wife, but also because of her intelligence and backbone. She was a good woman. A woman who deserved a good husband. Sighing, I opened my laptop, deciding to bury myself in the previous month’s numbers to distract myself, and knowing full well that this would not work forever.
It was long past midnight when I went up to the bedroom. Instead of going to the bathroom to get ready , I went to bed. Valentina lay on her back, her face tilted toward my side of the bed. In the sliver of light filtering in from the hallway, her skin glowed tantalizingly.
A long leg peeked out from under the covers, making me want to retrace her smooth skin, reach a hand higher and slip a finger inside.
I turned and grabbed my pajama pants on my way out. I was better off spending the night at the office, as long as I didn’t have a better grip on my desire.