ARIA Romero stayed with us in the villa almost constantly in the days after Luca left me heartbroken. I knew he and my sisters were worried about me because I was barely eating. Not for lack of effort, but the smell of most of the food made me feel sick. Luca stayed in New York. He had not sent me a single message in the last three days, and I could hardly stand it. Since our marriage, I had been with him practically every day, and I missed him terribly, not just at night.
I woke up before dawn, feeling cold despite the two blankets I had used at night. I slipped out of bed, grabbed my ‘robe and threw it over my nightgown before leaving my room and going down the stairs, then out onto the terrace.
Trembling, I searched the premises until my eyes found Romero doing sprints and burpees as he did every morning.
Gianna and Lily were still asleep and would sleep for several more hours.
After a few minutes, she noticed me and ran over to me, her shirt stuck to her sweaty chest. “Aria, what’s wrong?”
I let out a choked laugh, looking at him, and he nodded. “He’ll be back,” he said. “He knows you didn’t cheat. Matteo found the photographer and confirmed your story.”
I knew what it meant, I knew that a man had gone through hell on earth so that I could prove my innocence, but there was no guilt. I felt empty.
“When?”
“Yesterday.”
Luca had not contacted me, so either he still believed I had cheated on her or he didn’t really love me anymore.
I touched my stomach and looked toward the ocean.
“She needs time to calm down. The fact that you went to Chicago behind his back has left scars and it happened at the worst possible time. Luca is dealing with a lot of shit from his family right now.”
I sighed, hoping Romero was right, hoping Luca would give us another chance. I couldn’t imagine a life without him by my side. “I need to ask you a favor,” I finally said, and Romero stiffened.
“Aria, now is not the time to do anything to upset Luca again.”
“I know. Don’t you think I know?” I whispered abruptly. “But he’s not talking to me. He said he’s done with me and I don’t have time to wait for him to forgive me.”
Romero frowned. “Why? What do you want me to do?”
“I need you to take me to New York to a doctor.” I touched my stomach again, and Romero followed the movement.
He took a step forward, surprised. “Are you pregnant?”
“That’s what the pregnancy test said. That’s why Dante let me go.”
Romero’s face contracted in hatred. “Does Dante know you’re pregnant? Damn,” he said, his lips twisting. “You should tell Luca.”
“No,” I said firmly. “Not when he’s angry, not when he wants nothing to do with me. I don’t want him to feel compelled to come back to me because of the baby. I want him to come back to me because he wants to. And he’s not in the best state of mind right now.”
“That’s true,” Romero said slowly. I could tell he was hiding something. “Eventually, you won’t be able to hide it.”
My stomach contracted. “Do you think he will stay mad at me for months?” His face gave me the answer I feared.
Perhaps I had indeed lost him.
A man who had never slept in a bed with someone else, who had never been around people without a gun, not even his brother, because he had learned from an early age that trust gets you killed: he had trusted me and I had ruined everything .
“If you let me take a quick shower, we can get out now, ” Romero finally said.
It took a couple of beats to process his words.
“Yes, please. I’ll get ready.”
Forty minutes later Romero and I were on our way to New York. Gianna and Lily were still asleep when we left, and Sandro and two other guards would be keeping watch.
I had put my wig back on so people would not recognize me. No one could have found out about my pregnancy.
“Are you going to tell your sisters?” asked Romero.
I hesitated. “I would rather keep this between us for a while.” Romero gave me a confrontational oblique look, but then nodded. I knew he didn’t like to hide things from Lily, but too much had happened in the last few days and I needed time to figure things out on my own before involving other people.
Romero waited in the waiting room while I followed Dr. Brightley into the treatment room. He confirmed my pregnancy and told me I was six weeks along. When I came out next and Romero walked me to the elevator, I missed Luca so much that I couldn’t hold back the tears. He should have been there with me, he should have shared this moment of joy with me.
Romero touched my shoulder but I leaned against him, seeking comfort, and after a moment of hesitation, he wrapped his arms around me. “Aria, Luca will come back to you.”
I wanted to believe him, that’s all I wanted. Nodding, I pulled back and wiped my eyes, embarrassed by my outburst. Even though Luca’s absence was breaking my heart, I had to be strong for our baby.
I was nervous. It was the first time I had seen Luca in three weeks. We had not talked or texted each other. I had sent him a couple of messages at first, but then I had given up when he ignored them. If he needed space, I would have given it to him even if he had killed me.
“We should celebrate without the men,” Gianna muttered. “They’ll just ruin everything.” She was referring to Luke, and I feared she was right. How could this Christmas not be a big mess with the way things were going?
I stepped out of the shower and had to cling to the marble counter as a wave of dizziness hit me. I was in my ninth week and still had no belly, but pregnancy still ruled my life. I had lost more than ten pounds in the last three weeks because I couldn’t keep anything down. Dr. Brightley was still not worried because the baby was developing as it should. I put on my underwear and went to the bedroom. Was Luca going to share a bed with me that night?
“Shit, Aria,” Gianna said, puckering her lips as she looked at me. “You’ve lost so much weight.”
“You’re exaggerating,” I said lightly. I grabbed the cream-colored wool dress and slipped it on. It used to hug my curves, but now it was loose.
Gianna raised her eyebrows. “It doesn’t look like she’s exaggerating to me.”
“It’s nothing,” I said firmly.
Gianna leaned in closer. “You’re so fucking pale. And those dark circles under your eyes.” She shook her head. “You know what? We’ll just put on a little makeup.
Show them what it does to you.”
I was too tired to protest and let her apply a strand of foundation and mascara.
“I will kill him if he treats you like shit. I swear. I will stick one of Matteo’s knives into his fucking cruel heart .”
“Gianna,” I said to warn her. “I’m the one who went behind his back.”
“You went to see our little brother. Luca cheated on you with Grace just because you didn’t want to go out, and he didn’t tell you when Matteo asked our father for permission to marry me. And I bet he lied to you about other things we don’t know, but just because you don’t obey him like a well-behaved dog, he feels betrayed. Stupid pride of honorable men.”
I wished it was only pride that held Luke back, but I knew it was more, it was darker and more powerful.
Lily knocked and stuck her head in. “Dinner is ready.
Marianna says we can sit down.”
“Is she here?” I asked, hating the way my voice had broken.
Lily’s expression softened. “Yes, he and Matteo arrived fifteen minutes ago. They are downstairs with Romero.”
Gianna checked her reflection in my mirror. She too had barely seen Matteo because she preferred to be with me, still angry with him, while he was with Luca in New York.
I straightened up, hoping I could hold on. My pregnancy was turning me into an emotional wreck.
Gianna squeezed my hand and wouldn’t let go. “Come on, Aria. You’ve got us. Nothing will ever change that. They have their Family and their blood oath, but we are sisters, we are blood and we will be by your side until the end of days.”
Lily took my other hand with a resolute smile. “If you cannot stand her presence, then we will leave. We can have dinner in the kitchen. Just the three of us.”
I fought back tears.
“Don’t cry,” Gianna ordered. “He’ll think it’s for him. Don’t give him that power.”
But he had that power over my heart and there was nothing I could do about it. I resisted the urge to touch my belly, evidence of a lost love.
I swallowed and nodded, “Let’s go.”
We left the room, into the hallway and toward the stairs. Then I heard her deep voice and only my sisters grip made me move. Gianna’s grip on my hand became overwhelming as we descended the stairs, closer to her voice. We entered the dining room and my eyes focused on Luke, standing next to Matthew and Romero, looking calm. No sign that the last three weeks had affected him. Could he have gone on like this? Could he have extinguished his love so easily?
Lily squeezed my hand and Gianna stiffened at my side.
“Fuck him, Aria. Fuck everyone,” she whispered.
And I was determined to follow her advice, but then Luke turned his head and looked me straight in the eye, and my world collapsed. There had been brief moments of hope in those weeks of despair, either because I had tried to convince myself that I could live without Luca, or because I had managed to convince myself that he would recover.
Now, as his hard gray eyes looked at me as they did at anyone else, with cold examination and without a hint of warmth, both hopes turned to dust.
LUCA “You’re not going to ruin this Christmas for all of us, are you?”
Matthew asked. As if his relationship with Gianna had been going well for the past few weeks. He had been my shadow in New York and Gianna had refused to go with him. They were barely civilians with each other.
I rolled my eyes. “Don’t worry. Aria is my wife on paper, but that’s all.” I had shut down my fucking emotions for the past three weeks, and I had absolutely no intention of changing that. I had more important things to worry about, like dragging Dante and the Outfit with him. It wasn’t something I could handle in a few weeks or months, and certainly not as long as my actions were still fueled by fury. I had to come up with a plan that would ensure our success once and for all.
A movement near the door caught my attention, and I turned my head toward it, and a sledgehammer of emotion crashed into me.
Aria, all slender grace and long blond hair, was standing among her sisters. My eyes lingered on the dark shadows under her eyes, on the way her cheekbones had sharpened, on the way her dress hung off her body. Guilt rushed over me but I repressed it. I had no reason to feel guilty.
It was she who had betrayed me.
“Just on paper, that’s all, my ass,” Matteo muttered.
I looked away from Aria, working up my courage. I went to the dining room table and took my usual seat.
Matteo sat across from me, looking at me as if I were about to lose my mind. If he didn’t stop hovering constantly soon, I was going to lose my mind with him.
After a moment’s hesitation, Aria let herself fall beside me and her sweet floral scent flooded my nose.
She did not touch me, and I did not join her either.
Gianna sat across from me with a look of complete hatred. I stared back at her, giving her the full force of my Chief’s frown, and finally she looked away. I had stopped being tolerant. I was Chief, and I was going to fucking act like one.
When Romero and Lily had also sat down, Marianna came in with our food. She pressed her lips to mine but said nothing. We ate in silence for a while. Aria had barely touched her food or drunk her wine. Her hands trembled as she held her fork.
I would not let her manipulate me into feeling guilty.
AIR Shortly after dinner, I had to excuse myself and staggered into one of the guest bathrooms to vomit.
Romero joined me a few minutes later. I was kneeling on the floor, with my arms resting on the closed toilet lid and my cheek resting on them.
Romero squatted beside me, his voice soft. “Say it, Aria.”
“He’ll think I want to use the pregnancy as a way to get him to come back to me. I won’t. I want him to come back to me out of love, Romero.” My voice broke and tears rose to my eyes.
Romero looked at me in silence. This time he did not tell me that Luca would come back. He straightened up and held out his hand to me. I let him pull me to my feet, washed my hands and rinsed my mouth.
With my head held high, I returned to the living and dining area, but found only Lily and Gianna, huddled close to each other on the sofa.
“They went to the living room to drink scotch,” muttered Gianna.
“Oh,” I said softly.
Despite my exhaustion, I stayed in the living room as long as I could, hoping Luca would join us, but he didn’t, and eventually I went upstairs to the bedroom and lay down.
I wasn’t sure how long it had been when I heard the creaking of the door. Turning around, my eyes met Luca’s tall figure and hope swelled in my chest.
“Luca?” I whispered.
He said nothing and I turned on the light. He was rummaging through drawers and pulled out his sweatpants before turning to leave.
“Aren’t you staying?” I asked, hating the way my voice was shaking.
His shoulders stiffened under his shirt. He did not turn away as he spoke in a harsh voice. “No. But I can fuck you if that’s what you want?”
I inhaled shakily. “Don’t.”
Without another word, he left and after a moment I turned off the lights with trembling fingers.
The next time he spoke to me was during breakfast the next morning, to inform me that we were to go together to Senator Parker’s Sylvester party.
After that he returned to New York.