Darling, I thought about staying in my room, but then I decided it would be stupid to do so. I hated myself for what had happened the night before, but maybe I could use it to my advantage. I wanted to get in Growl’s good graces so he would help me and my family. Sleeping with him was perhaps the first step in the right direction, no matter how crazy it seemed.
When I entered the kitchen, Growl was not there, but the door to the yard was open. I went outside and found Growl sitting in one of the chairs staring into space. His eyes turned to me and my cheeks grew hot, but I looked back at him.
There was a flash of surprise on his face as I approached. I dropped into the chair in front of him, grimacing.
“Are you okay?” he grumbled, frowning.
I nodded. “I’m fine,” I said. I didn’t want to discuss my pain with Growl.
“There’s coffee for you inside,” Growl said. Then he got up and I thought he was trying to avoid me, but he came back a few minutes later with a cup of coffee. He had put too much milk in the coffee, but I was glad for his consideration. I took a sip, then asked a question that had been nagging at me for a while.
“What is your real name? Growl was given to you after that thing with your vocal cords.”
“Really?” he asked calmly.
I frowned. Suddenly unsure, but no one was called Growl at birth. “Yes, the way you sound.”
“Growl,” he repeated, and hearing him say the name fit him even more.
“So what was your real name?”
“What does it matter?”
“I just want to know,” I said softly.
He looked at me blankly again, as if lost in the past. “I’ve been Growl for a long time. That other name, it doesn’t matter anymore.”
“Why do you say that? It is the name your mother chose for you.”
“But the boy who was given that name no longer exists.
He has been erased forever.”
“So you don’t mind people calling you Growl? Isn’t it frustrating to be reduced to that little part of you?”
“Growl is a name that scares people. It is the name that suits me now. It is a name that has power and meaning because I worked hard.”
“But isn’t your old name better than a name that reminds you every day what happened to you?” I wanted to ask him about events, but he was already tense and I had a feeling he would not be very forthcoming with more information if I asked him now.
“I don’t need a reminder. I will never forget it. It’s here,” he pointed to the scar on his throat, “And here,” he added , pointing to his temple.
I could only imagine what kind of images haunted him at night. Maybe that was why he could manage his actions so easily, because the horrors of his past overshadowed everything else.
He seemed impatient when he returned that evening. I put the book down. It was the third one I had finished so far. Growl immediately joined me in the living room, but he did not sit down and remained in the doorway. Always careful not to get too close except when we were intimate.
“I have some news,” he said quietly. “Falcone drank a little today and that always makes him talk. He told me more about your sister. She is hiding in one of his properties.”
“He didn’t say where? And why is he hiding her? What does he want with her? What if they hurt her?” I clutched my knees, the very idea that my sister could be hurt in any way was tearing me apart.
Growl approached, obviously uncomfortable with my distress. “I doubt it very much. Your sister is too valuable as leverage to hurt her. That doesn’t mean Falcone won’t do it if he sees it as an advantage to his goal.”
“I don’t understand. What goals? What do you mean?”
“Falcone needs to control your mother. And he’s threatening her to do to T alia what he did to you. Give her to someone who would hurt her. Your mother is not in a good mood right now. Apparently she is guilty for what happened to you and would do anything to at least protect your sister when she failed to protect you.”
“It’s not her fault.”
Growl smiled in a distorted way. Maybe it was because we were talking about it like it was a curse, but in truth, that was exactly why Falcone had given me to him, because everyone feared Growl.
“What I don’t understand is how my mother could be useful to Falcone in any way. She was never involved in Dad’s business. She has always been just a housewife. The only thing she knows is how to throw a dinner party and where to buy the best shoes.”
I shuddered at how horrible that sounded, but it was the truth. I couldn’t understand how Falcone could use both of those things.
“Your mother doesn’t need to know anything about business. What matters is her blood.”
I froze. “What do you mean?”
Growl scrutinized my face as if he couldn’t believe I didn’t know. “Your mother is not from Las Vegas. She was born in New York, but she ran away with your father.”
I suspected that my mother had run away with Dad.
She had mentioned something like that. But New York? I thought back to the few times I had mentioned New York to my mother. She had always avoided the subject. I had never given it much thought, but now it all made sense. And yet she still did not explain why that made her an asset to Falcone.
I looked up at Growl, more confused than ever.
“Do you know who Salvatore Vitiello is?” he asked as he perched on the armrest of the couch. The thing creaked under his weight.
Salvatore Vitiello? Everyone knew the man. Even people who had nothing to do with the Mafia knew who he was. His death had been in all the papers. “Of course . He was the head of the New York Familia. But now he’s dead.”
Growl nodded, “He is, and your mother is his sister.”
My eyes widened in surprise. “My mother is related to the head of the New York Familia?”
“She is. I guess she and her brother never got along very well, that was another reason she left New York.”
“Okay, but why would Falcone care if my mother was related to Salvatore Vitiello?”
“Because it means she is the aunt of the current head of the Familia, and that makes her the perfect contact person.”
“I thought Las Vegas wanted nothing to do with New York. They hate each other. That’s what my father used to say.”
“That’s true,” agreed Growl. “Falcone wants the Familia dead, and so does the Chicago Outfit. But its power is waning. The Russians have become too strong in Las Vegas.
And now that Chicago and New York are working together, Falcone fears that the Russians will lose interest in those cities and focus all their energy on taking over Las Vegas. If Falcone wants to keep his city, he needs the support of the other families. And that will not be easy. He has made a lot of enemies over the years.”
I huffed. “I’m not surprised. He’s a sadistic bastard and has never cared much about working together with anyone.
Why would the Vitiellos even consider coming to the aid of the Camorra?”
“Because of your mother. Apparently, Luca Vitiello is very family-oriented. Or at least he has been since he married Aria. If your mother, like his aunt, contacts him and asks him for help, Falcone’s chances are much better than without her.”
“Why didn’t Falcone ask my mother sooner? Why now?”
“Falcone has been trying to work things out on his own as he has always done, but now that even your father has betrayed him with Bratva’s help, even Falcone realizes that he must do something soon or Las Vegas is lost.”
“I say let the Bratva take the city. They can’t be worse than Falcone. The city will be better off without that bastard.”
“Maybe,” Growl said with a shrug. “But that’s your answer. And as long as Falcone hopes for New York’s support and as long as your mother does as she says, your sister and she will be safe.”
“But what if New York refuses to help Falcone?”
“Then Falcone will probably threaten to kill your mother and sister. That might change Luca Vitiello’s mind.
Although I doubt he will risk New York for an aunt he doesn’t know just because Falcone threatens to kill her.
Luca has almost as much blood on his hands as I do. He can make tough decisions.”
“But if that happened, my mother and sister would die!”
“That’s a possibility.”
“And even if Luca agreed to help, Falcone would keep my mother a prisoner and my sister as leverage. They would be no better off than I am.”
Growl’s face stiffened, but he nodded in assent.
“Their only chance is to escape from Las Vegas. If they go to New York, Luca will probably take them in. His wife will surely convince him.”
New York. That was the solution to everything.
“When can I see my mother? I want to talk to her to make sure she’s okay.”
Growl raised his eyebrows. “Do you think she lied to you?
She’s fine considering everything, believe me.”
“Yes,” I said. “But I need to see her. Please.”
Growl sighed. “It’s not that easy. Falcone is keeping an eye on her. She won’t be happy if you go to her.”
“There must be a way,” I said imploringly.
Growl sighed. “I don’t even know why I’m telling you all this. It could be treason. I’m working for Falcone.”
“Or maybe he thought you would tell me and hopes it will make me easier to control. He can’t believe you won’t tell me anything,” I said. He looked doubtful. He was slipping away again. I wasn’t sure how to tie him to me.
The only time he had let his guard down was when we had sex.
I moved a little closer to him, but I had never had to use my body to get what I wanted. I could see that Growl hadn’t stopped admiring my body from the moment he came in.
He still wanted me, so the night before had not been enough. If only I had known how to seduce him. I wasn’t at all sure what to do.
My body was surely already imagining what it would be like to feel his touch again. I tried not to let thoughts of appropriateness ruin everything for me. But I had always been taught to act reserved and like a lady. Seducing someone was not something my mother would ever tolerate. I staggered, my eyes following Growl’s muscles visible through his thin T-shirt and strong thighs. My belly filled with heat at that sight. I had already slept with him. Now it was easy, I tried to tell myself.
Growl must have seen something in my expression because he let out a low moan and pulled me toward him, claiming my mouth for a kiss. When he pulled away, he croaked : “Do you even know what you’re doing?”