When Luke came home almost five hours later, I had put on a skirt and a light, sleeveless blouse. Despite my best efforts, my eyes were still slightly red from crying. There was a limit to what makeup could do. Luca noticed immediately, his gaze lingering on my eyes, then darting to the picture of my family on the nightstand.
“I wasn’t sure which one was yours. I can move it to the other nightstand if you want,” I said.
“No that’s fine.” Weariness was clearly written on his face.
“Did the meeting go well?”
Luca looked away. “Let’s not talk about it. I’m starving.” He held out his hand to me, and I took it and followed him to the elevator. He was tense and barely said a word as we traveled in the car. I wasn’t quite sure if he expected me to make conversation, and I was too emotionally drained to make an effort.
When we stopped at a red light, he looked over. “You look great.”
“Thanks.”
He parked the car in a gated parking lot where they put cars on top of each other, then we headed down a street with small restaurants offering everything from Indian cuisine to Lebanese to sushi. He stopped at a Korean restaurant and held the door open for me. Stunned, I entered the crowded and cramped interior.
Small tables were arranged next to each other, and a bar in the front offered alcoholic beverages with labels I could not even read. A waiter approached us and seeing Luke led us toward the back of the restaurant and gave us the last available table. The people at the table next to ours stared wide-eyed at Luca, probably wondering how he would fit in. I took a seat on the bench that took up the entire length of the room, and Luca took the chair across from me. The man next to him moved the chair to the side so Luca would have more room. Did they know who he was or were they being polite?
“You look surprised,” Luca said after the waiter took our drink orders and left us with the menu.
“I didn’t think you would choose Asian cuisine, considering everything.” That was all I could say in a crowded restaurant, but Luca knew I was talking about the Taiwanese Triad.
“This restaurant is the best Asian restaurant in town, and it doesn’t belong to an Asian chain.”
I frowned. Was it under the protection of the Familia?
“It’s independent.”
“There are independent restaurants in New York?”
The couple at the table next to us looked at me strangely. To them our conversation was probably more than a little strange.
“Some, but we’re in negotiations right now.”
I huffed.
Luca pointed to my menu. “Do you need any help?”
“Yes, I’ve never tried Korean.”
“The marinated silk tofu and bulgogi beef are delicious.”
“Do you eat tofu?”
Luca shrugged. “If it is prepared like this, then yes.”
I shook my head. This was surreal. “Just order what you think is best. I eat everything but the liver.
“I like women who eat more than salad.”
The waiter returned and took our orders. I fiddled with the chopsticks, trying to figure out the best way to use them.
“You’ve never used chopsticks before?” asked Luca with a smirk. Was he teasing me?
“My parents only took us to their favorite Italian restaurant and I wasn’t allowed to go anywhere alone.” Bitterness resonated in my voice.
“Now you can go anywhere you want.”
“Really? Alone?”
Luca lowered his voice. “With Romero or me, or with Caesar when Romero is unavailable.”
Of course.
“Here, let me show you.” He took his chopsticks and lifted them. I tried to imitate his grip, and after a few attempts I managed to move the chopsticks without dropping them. When our food arrived, I realized that it was much harder to hold on to something with the chopsticks.
Luca watched with obvious amusement as I made three attempts to bring a piece of tofu to my lips.
“No wonder New York girls are so skinny if they eat like this all the time.”
“You’re prettier than all of them,” she said. I scanned her face, trying to see if she was sincere, but as usual her face was unreadable. I allowed myself to admire her eyes. They were unusual with their darker ring around the gray. They weren’t exactly cold at the time, but I remembered them that way.
Luca grabbed a piece of marinated beef and handed it to me. My eyebrows rose in surprise. Luca mirrored my expression but his was more challenging. I leaned forward and closed my lips around the sticks, then pulled back, savoring the taste of the bulgogi beef. Luca’s eyes seemed to darken as he watched me.
“Delicious,” I said. Next, Luca took a piece of Tofu and I eagerly took it. It was better than trying to subdue the chopsticks.
I was grateful that Luca had shown me this normal side of him. It gave me hope. Maybe that was his intention, but I didn’t care.
*** The relaxation I had felt during dinner vanished when Luca and I returned to our penthouse and entered the bedroom. I went to the bathroom and took my time getting ready before returning.
Luca’s eyes observed my long dark satin nightgown. It reached my calves but had a slit that reached my thighs. It was still much more modest than the horrible garment I had worn on my wedding night.
Yet I was sure there was desire in his eyes.
Once he was gone in the bathroom, I walked over to the window and devoted myself to watching the night horizon. I was almost as nervous as I was last night. I knew I was not ready for anything more than a kiss. I did not turn around when I felt Luca approach me. His imposing stature was reflected in the windows. Like yesterday, he was wearing only briefs. I saw him stretch toward me, and every muscle in my body tensed. If he noticed my reaction, he did not give it away. He ran a knuckle along my spine, sending a tingling sensation through my body. Because I did not react, he held out his hand, palm upward, an invitation, not a command, yet I knew there was only one right answer.
I faced him, but my eyes were drawn to the long scar on his palm. I ran my fingers over it. ” Does it come from the blood oath?” I peered at his unreadable face. I knew that during the initiation ceremony men had to shed blood by reciting the words of the oath.
“NO. This is.” He turned his other hand to the spot where a small scar marred his palm. “That,” he said nodding toward the scar I was still touching. “… It happened during a fight. I had to avoid a knife attack with my hand.”
I wanted to ask him about the first time he killed a man, but he gripped my wrist with his fingers and led me toward the bed. My throat became too tight for words as he sat down on the mattress and pulled me between his legs. I tried to relax into his kiss and when he made no movement to go further I felt the tension slip away and began to enjoy his expert mouth, but then he lay back and pulled me onto the bed with him.
His kisses became stronger and I could feel his erection pressed against my thigh. Yet I didn’t pull back. I could do it. I knew he was coming. His hand grabbed my breast and I stiffened despite my best intentions not to. He didn’t remove it, but he didn’t move it either. His kisses made it hard to think. Would it really be so bad to sleep with Luca? He pulled back a few inches and slid kisses toward my ear. “I’ve never wanted to fuck a woman as much as I want to fuck you right now.”
I froze. His words made me feel cheap. He was my husband and he was entitled to my body, apparently to someone in our family, but I deserved better. I didn’t want to be fucked like he was used to doing with other women. I was his wife. I wanted more. I turned my head and pushed my palms against his chest. After a moment, he relented.
“I don’t want this,” I said, not bothering to hide my disgust from him.
I wasn’t looking at him but I could practically feel his frustration. What was he thinking? That I would suddenly feel comfortable enough to sleep with him because he had once taken me out to dinner? Was that how it worked with his other girlfriends? For a long time he just stared at me, then disentangled himself from me.
He turned off the light without a word and lay down on his side of the bed. I wished she would have at least hugged me. This was my first night so far away from my family. It would have been nice if he at least comforted me, but I didn’t ask him. Instead, I pulled up the covers and closed my eyes.