34

With Simona strapped in front of me and Daniel in his stroller, we strolled through the park toward a fenced dog area. Domenico kept his distance, pretending to be a casual walker, but Elijah stayed by my side. To a stranger, it looked like we were a couple. Elijah definitely played that card, considering how close he walked beside me. Loulou ran away the moment I released her and was soon in hot pursuit with other dogs. “It must be strange,” began Elijah, sitting next to me on the bench. “Living in a foreign city with a man you barely know.”
Daniel followed the playing dogs with his eyes. That fascinated look usually only managed to appear on his face when he stared at the screen. Simona was also watching with big eyes. “I have been prepared for that kind of life since I was a little girl. The rules in our world have been the same for a long time.” “They are, but that doesn’t mean it’s always easy to abide by them.” I turned to Elijah. The way he looked at me, as if he wanted to see what it would take to get an elevation from me, raised my protective walls. “Do you have a habit of breaking the rules?”
He smiled as if he was about to reveal a secret to me. “It can be liberating.” She was flirting with me. Loulou screamed and then squeaked. My head jerked up. An older dog was trying to mount her. “Can you help her?” Elijah did not hesitate. She leapt to her feet and ran toward the two dogs. The other dog’s owner, a young man with glasses and a hipster beard, did the same. They managed to separate the dogs. To my surprise, they began to chat.
Elijah smiled the same smile he had been giving me all day, but this one was less expectant, less challenging. He was naturally flirtatious, one he didn’t have to force. The hipster boy laughed, still holding his little bulldog by the collar. Elijah smiled, but then he noticed my gaze and his attitude changed. He said something else, then hurried back to me with Loulou on his arm. I scanned his face. For a moment there, it looked as if I had caught him. Maybe Elijah was breaking the rules, but not in the way he had implied to me. Now he understood why Alessio had chosen such an attractive man to protect me. Elia was no danger in his eyes. I could probably walk around naked all day and Elia would not care in the least.
We got home much earlier than planned because Simona had an endless crying fit. She wouldn’t let me calm her down no matter what I did. Daniel was also irritated by this, but Loulou’s presence at least prevented his breakdown. When I finally managed to get Simona to sit down for a nap after what seemed like hours, I felt drained. I had thought of calling Alessio to ask for his help because, unlike Daniel, Simona fell silent as soon as Dad was near her. Now I was glad I had succeeded without calling him.
I didn’t want him to think I couldn’t handle the situation. My clothes were soaked with sweat when I sank down on the couch a few minutes after Simona fell asleep. Daniel sat down on the floor, the tablet in his lap. I had given in and returned it to him. If he had also started crying like Simona, I would have started crying, too. Elijah came toward me, carrying two cups. “You look like you could use some coffee.”
his muscles and a black gun holster over it. I wondered if he was good with guns, if that was at least part of the reason Alessio had chosen him, or perhaps his presence was just a trap.
Alessio had instructed Elijah to do it. I had no doubt about that. Alessio was jealous. He had admitted it himself, and Faro and Mansueto had also confirmed it. However, I did not expect him to be so jealous as to deceive me like that. It infuriated me, but beyond that, it made me really sad. If Alessio trusted me so little, we still had a long way to go for this marriage to work. I placed the cup on the table and turned to Elijah. I approached, gauging his reaction. “I asked myself a question…” His eyes shifted to caution, but the smile remained on his face “Does Alessio know?” I murmured. His smile became less honest. “Knows what?” “That you like men.”
For a moment, Elijah’s expression vanished before he could control it again. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” “Oh yeah?” I said. “I saw how you checked out that guy in the dog park. You were flirting with him the way you pretended to flirt with me. I’m not blind. Maybe men in our world don’t notice because they prefer to see what they want to see, but I don’t care if you like men or women. Love is love.”
Elijah shook his head. “I haven’t checked anyone out. You can’t go around saying something like that. You know what would happen to me if such rumors spread.” “I have absolutely no intention of telling anyone. That’s your business,” I said. Officially, there were no gay Made Men. It was ridiculous. Boys learned to hide it if they liked other boys or if they were killed. That was the only reason there were no gay men in our circles. “But Alessio knows.” I could practically see Elijah’s thoughts racing as he tried to lead me astray. “If he thought I was gay, he would have killed me. The mob doesn’t tolerate faggots.” I smiled. The insult was a nice touch. It didn’t work. “Not unless you make it public. And sometimes it comes in handy to have gay soldiers, especially if someone is jealous like Alessio seems to be.”
Elijah said nothing. I could see that he was completely shocked.
“This is…” “Ridiculous? Yes it is. Did Alessio ask you to come to me to see if I would bite?” Elijah ran a hand through his hair. I had cornered him. It was obvious that neither he nor Alessio expected me to join them. This made me even more furious that they had tried this trick.
“I am your bodyguard. I am meant to protect you. You should talk to Alessio if you think I’m doing a bad job.” I rolled my eyes. “Maybe you should go to the staff room now. I really don’t feel like lying right now.”
Elijah tilted his head and left. He was calling Alessio the moment he was in the back room. I leaned against the back of the headrest, closing my eyes briefly, feeling drained. My T-shirt clung to my sweaty back. A hot muzzle elbowed my arm. I opened my eyes and saw Loulou on the couch beside me. Was she trying to comfort me? I had read that dogs were able to pick up human emotions, but I did not expect Loulou to act accordingly. She probably wasn’t allowed on the couch, but I didn’t care whether Alessio would approve or not. I patted my lap and she curled up there.
Daniele put down the tablet and walked over to me. He climbed onto the couch and sat down next to me. His little paws did not even reach the edge. I smiled at him. His eyes conveyed questions to which he gave no voice.
“I’m fine, just tired. Loulou is trying to comfort me because she feels I’m tired.” Daniel nodded slowly. I stroked his head carefully, to see if he pulled back, but he did not. I felt the knots on his back. I had seen how he struggled when Sybil or Alessio tried to comb his hair. The way I felt, I doubted the hairdo would work.
“Loulou is pretty with her short hair, right?” Daniel nodded.
“Will you let me cut my hair a little? Not much, just a little, so Loulou doesn’t get lonely with her short hair?”
An even smaller nod was his answer. I gently placed Loulou on the couch and went to get the scissors. When I returned, Loulou was curled up on the sofa and Daniel was sitting very close, but he was not touching her even though I could see he wanted to. “Can you sit on my lap while I cut your hair?” Nodding. I lifted Daniel up and positioned him on my lap while I sat down. I gently stroked his head before I began to cut the hair at the back of his head. He did not move; he only looked at Loulou. I also shortened the hair on the sides, left only the hair on top as it was. “You look really cool now.”
Daniel remained sitting on my leg, and I kept stroking his little head. “I hope one day you will talk to me. I’d like to hear your voice. You can talk to me about anything. I can keep secrets if you need them. Is that okay?” He looked over his shoulder, really looked into my eyes, and at that moment he looked much older than almost three years. “Your father loves you.” Daniel looked away and slid off my leg. He fell back onto the floor with the tablet.