“Daniele, you know you shouldn’t be in here.” He did not respond, except to round his small shoulders and stick out his chin. I walked over to him and took him in my arms. He squirmed in my grip, but I did not put him down.
“Enough,” I blurted out. My patience was wearing thin after last night. He just struggled harder. My chest tightened in a mixture of despair and frustration.
“Daniele, stop this now!”
He froze and so did Gianna, who was watching from her seat on the threshold of our bedroom. Simona began to cry in her room. A few seconds later, the dog started barking downstairs.
I stopped and for a moment, sure that I would lose it. Swallowing hard, I approached Gianna and placed Daniel in front of her.
“Get him dressed and don’t let him spend all day on the tablet. I will take care of Simona.” I did not wait for her response. Turning my back on her and my son’s accusing face, I headed toward my daughter. Once in her room, I leaned my forehead against the cool door for a couple of heartbeats before finally feeling in a state of mind to console my little girl.
Gianna
I stood petrified, staring at the little boy. What had just happened? Daniel had struggled against Alessio’s grip as if terrified of him.
And for a moment, Alessio had seemed on the verge of losing control. Loulou kept barking downstairs, but Simona finally shut up, probably because Alessio had pulled her out of her crib. Remembering the previous night’s mess, I squared my shoulders and squatted down in front of the little boy.
“Hello, Daniele. I’m Gianna.” Daniele looked at me with miserable milk chocolate eyes. His caramel blond hair was tousled and even looked knotted in places, as if it hadn’t been combed properly in a long time.
“How about getting ready for the day?”
He did not respond, just stared. My stomach clenched. This boy was sick. His mother had died only a few months before, and his father was obviously overwhelmed by the situation. I didn’t know what had happened, I didn’t know the extent of Daniel’s trauma, but it was obvious that he needed help.
He also looked thin. I straightened up and extended my hand.
“Can you show me your room?” Nothing. He lowered his gaze to the tablet he was holding and turned it on. Some kind of game with colorful balloons popped up. I didn’t want to force it into his room as Alessio might have done. That would not have helped me gain the boy’s trust.
“Daniele, please help me? I am new here and I need you to show me your room. Will you help me?” I waited with my hand outstretched.
Daniele did not take my hand or look up from the tablet, but headed for his room. I followed him inside. He sank down on the bed, the tablet in his lap. Looking around, I noticed a closet on the right side.
Everything was in neutral tones: the walls, the furniture, the carpets, except the colorful stuffed dinosaurs on the shelves and on his bed. I would have to do something about that.
In my research on children, I had found pictures of beautiful hand-drawn nursery designs.
After some rummaging, I finally found a pair of denim pants and a sweatshirt.
Most of the clothes inside the drawers were for warmer temperatures, and most of the winter clothes I had found seemed too small for Daniel.
I went back to him and knelt in front of him, tilting my head to see his face. He was focused on the screen, but for a moment his eyelashes rose.
“Can you dress yourself?”
I didn’t know when children learned things like that. When Daniel didn’t respond, I grabbed his tablet.
He emitted an angry cry and turned away.
“Daniele, we need to get you dressed.” I grabbed the tablet and Daniele threw himself on me, catching me completely off guard.
Because of the way I was kneeling, I had no chance to support myself.
I fell backward and landed on my back with Daniel on top of me as he wrestled me to the tablet. His fingernails scratched my cheek.
“Stop!” Alessio roared and Daniele’s weight lifted off me. I shifted into a sitting position, still dazed. Alessio was standing over me, holding Daniel against his side, restraining the wriggling boy’s arms.
“I said enough!”
Daniele froze in Alessio’s hold. Alessio’s expression was thunderous. I swallowed and slowly stood up. Alessio’s eyes rested on my cheek, which throbbed. I touched the spot and my fingertips came away stained with blood.
“Damn,” Alessio said harshly, his voice trembling with an emotion I could not place. He lowered his gaze to the now immobile boy in his arms. Daniele was not the only one in pain. He walked over to a changing table that I had not even noticed before and placed Daniele on it. I picked up the board from the floor and placed it on the bed before approaching Alessio.
I showed the clothes I had chosen for Daniele.
Alessio nodded to the table. I put the clothes down as I watched Alessio undress Daniele, who was still wearing diapers. Surprise pervaded me. Shouldn’t he be potty trained at almost three years old? “Can you change a diaper?” Alessio asked, but his voice had a tone that suggested he knew the answer was no. I shook my head.
“I can learn.”
Alessio’s mouth thinned into a line. He quickly changed the diaper and Daniel did not twitch, just stared stubbornly to the side. After that, Alessio got his son dressed.
As suspected, the clothes were on the verge of being too small.
Not too loose because he was thin, but definitely too short. Alessio lowered Daniel to the floor, and the boy immediately approached his seat. “For a while he didn’t need a diaper, then…” Alessio was silent. Then Gaia died.
“Is that why he’s so thin and doesn’t talk?” Alessio swallowed and his expression hardened.