Dave
I messed up-big time. How am I going to make up for this?
When Emilia talked about this in the morning, I should’ve immediately denied her. Why did I not say anything to her then?
Yeah, I was afraid to hurt her feelings. Who doesn’t want to have a child with the person you love right? Even more when you are married for over a few years.
But, I’m not supposed to have a child with her! Who’s going to tell her that?
Ugh….. what should I do now? She even went to tell Aileen about it. She’s going to hurt her without realizing it.
Everything is so messed up and I can’t even do anything about it!
I’m really no good. My head is starting to hurt from all this thinking.
I heaved a sigh closing my eyes as I relaxed on my bed.
I wonder what she’s saying right now.
Why on earth did she suddenly want to have a baby anyway?
She mentioned it before.
Should I text Aileen? But, how’s she going to answer it in front of Emilia?
But, I need to explain everything to Aileen eventually. I don’t want to create a misunderstanding between us.
“Look like you keep getting yourself into trouble,” Aaron remarks.
It seems so, even without my will. This isn’t fair.
“But, how long do you plan to keep everything a secret from your wife? She’s going to find it out eventually she’s not the one you are destined to be with.”
My heart filled with dread at the thought of telling her the truth, and how she’s going to look after what she finds out about our secret.
Yes, I need to tell her. But, I don’t think I’m mentally prepared to tell her everything yet.
I need some more time, time to adjust and sort out my feelings regarding Aileen and her.
I’m still not fit enough to be the person she should spend her life with. I get jealous over minor things. I try to take control of her decisions. This won’t do.
I need to do some self-reflection, or else I’m going to make her suffer by keeping her tied down to me.
I don’t want that.
Her happiness is all I want and can wish for.
I looked at the ceiling above me aimlessly. And a few minutes later, I heard the sound of the door opening.
She’s here.
I sat upright and fixed my posture.
“Ahem, welcome back,” I greeted her normally with a smile. “How did it go?”
She closed the door and came up to me with a happy expression.
“Well, she gave a piece of good advice. That’s why I came to talk about it with you.”
“Good advice? I can’t wait to hear it. Sit down.”
She sat beside me while fidgeting with her dress.
“Go on. I’m listening.”
She cleared her throat and stared down at her hands nervously, “Well…. I want the baby to be born into this world willingly. Not because….. under anyone’s force or under any circumstances. I want it to be born because we want it to be born. That’s why, unless you want to have a baby like I do, I’ve decided not to force you for it.”
Aileen, you are a genius. How did you manage to manipulate her like that? Even I don’t think I could convince her so easily.
I really have to give you the credit.
“Uh…are you sure you really want to give up on the baby like this?” I asked, placing my hand around her shoulder.
She looked up at me. Her eyes were telling an entirely different story than the one she told me just now.
“Well, to tell you the truth, I still haven’t given up on the idea yet. That’s why, I want you to take your time and think about it thoroughly for as long as you want to. Whatever will be your decision, will be my decision also. Does that sound good to you?”
“Uh….” What am I supposed to reply to this?
If I just tell her I don’t want the baby, she might just not bring it up again. But, I don’t have the heart to hurt her like this.
“Sure, it sounds fabulous,” I replied, smiling, “Thanks for giving me time to think over. I really appreciate your thought.”
Emilia smiled, hugging me tightly. “I knew you would understand if I explained it to you carefully. Thank you, Dave. I’m really lucky to have you as my husband.”
I patted her back to assure her. “Me too.”
No Emilia. You are not lucky to have me. Cause I’m the one who’s been betraying you since day one.
I never had any love towards you since the beginning. Then, why are you pouring all your love and commitment into this fake marriage of ours? You make me feel bad for you.
How can I keep going with all this guilt?
We went to bed like that, but Emilia was snuggling up on me a bit more than usual.
I guess it’s all the effect of the non-existent baby in her head. Damn it, I was so preoccupied with everything I forgot to ask Aileen how the party went and if anyone tried to hit on her or anything.
I need to ask her tomorrow and also explain about this.
The next morning, I got up early. Emilia was still asleep, so I tried to get up from the bed without waking her up.
But, when I moved a bit, she wrapped her arms around me. Making it impossible for me to get up.
I slowly removed her fingers and then got her hands off my body.
Phew, it was a close call.
I quickly got down from the bed and went out of the room and closed the door behind me.
I reached Aileen’s room in a few seconds and knocked on her door.
“Aileen, wake up! It’s me, Dave!” I yelled.
No one answered the door.
I pulled out my phone and called her from outside.
A few minutes later, the door swings open.
“You finally woke up,” I said, putting down the phone. I was greeted by a half-asleep Aileen wearing nothing but a plain pink t-shirt with her undies.
And if you ask me, her pointed buds and bare legs were not something I was expecting to see right this morning, but oh well.
“This is an emergency!” I said to myself.
“Why are you calling me so early?” she mumbled, rubbing her eyes. “It’s like 7 a. m. now.”
“This is an emergency! Don’t take it so lightly!” I replied, “Let me go inside, we need to talk.”
“Talk? Oh, sure.”
I closed the door behind me and she took a seat on her chair yawning.
“It seems you slept pretty well even after what happened yesterday,” I said, taking a seat right across her.
“Yesterday? What happened yesterday?” she grunted, still half-asleep.
“You don’t remember what happened yesterday?” I was disappointed in her tone.
“No? I mean, I did go to the party and met my friends. Something else important happened yesterday?”
“Yes! Your mom wanted to have a baby with me!” I retorted.
Her eyes widened in response, “A baby with you? Oh, now I remember! She came to talk about it with me.”
“Is that why you are here at this time? To talk about it? Aren’t you happy? You are going to be a dad soon. You’ll also have another child to look after.” She added with a stoic expression.
I was stunned to hear her statement.
“What? Do you think I’m here to brag about being a dad? Who do you think I am? Are you making fun of the situation I’m in even though you know it’s a difficult situation for both of us?”
She went silent, adverting her eyes.
Her actions are telling me she’s thinking about something but I don’t understand what?
What’s going on in your head Aileen?
“I can’t believe I’m the only one who’s stressing out here,” I sighed, leaning against the chair.
“Who else is supposed to stress about it when you are the reason behind everything?” she asked, gazing at me intently.
The atmosphere suddenly became tense. She’s not kidding, she’s serious.
“What do you mean by the reason behind everything? She’s the one whoyou think I’m also involved in her plan. You think I want to be a father to her baby?”
She didn’t deny it. So, she was thinking about it. That’s why her mood is off.
“When she told you about it yesterday morning, you could’ve denied it. Then, it wouldn’t have come this far in the first place. Deal with it yourself now.” she said, getting up from her seat, “I can’t help you out here.”
“You are kidding, right?” I asked, getting up after her, “Tell me you are joking! There’s no way you are going to leave me in this mess alone.”
She clenched her fists, staring in my face. “Well, this exactly isn’t my mess to begin with. But, if you really want help so much, I will help you out. What do you want me to do?”
She sounds like she could care less about it, but is forcing herself because of me.
“I thought we were going to think about it together. But, you want to act according to my plan, which I don’t have at the moment. So, I’ll probably come back later. Sorry for disturbing you, bye,” I turned away to leave.
But, before I did, she grabbed onto my hand from behind.
“Wait, don’t go. I was kidding with you. Don’t take me seriously. I’m sorry.”
I turned around to look at her.
“Do you really want to help me? I don’t think you want to.”
She frowned, removing her hands from my arm.
“Yes, I really want to. But if you don’t believe me, you are free to leave. Not like you can do anything without me anyway.”
You cheeky girl. You know I need you right now. That’s why you are doing this.