(Embry’s POV)
December 23rd. I lay in a starfish position not wanting to get out of bed. Not like I had anywhere to go or anything to do. A part of me really wanted to see Evelyn but another part of me was afraid she would hate me if she found out what I had done, I had managed to push it to the back of my mind but every so often I was reminded that I was a murderer.
I watched as Noah bustled around the room, into the wardrobe and bathroom, readying himself for the day once again, leaving me behind. Sighing dramatically I sat up in the bed, sitting motionlessly as I stared in front of me trying to fully wake up.
“Good morning beautiful” Noah sang, nodding towards the chair at the desk, wanting me to sit down and eat. Trudging over to eat breakfast, I threw a quick glance at him, kicking my legs back and forth as they hung down from the chair. “Maybe I could start eating downstairs again soon?” I questioned hopefully, taking a bite of the toast. It was just so boring and bland up here. “Nope” he shook his head giving me a look to say ‘are you serious’.
I groaned as he threw another one of his shirts at me, “can I at least wear my own clothes?” I pouted, sending him a pleading look. I took his silence as an answer, one which I was not very happy with. “But I don’t like wearing these tops all the time” I sulked, crossing my arms and sitting back in the chair.
“Too bad, you should have thought about that before you ran” he flashed a quick smile, taking the seat across from me. “You can’t hold that against me forever” I frowned, picking at the food in front of me, “I said I was sorry.” “Sorry doesn’t fix everything, now does it?” he replied in a sarcastic tone, sending shock waves to my heart. Why was he being mean?
“But I-” “shut the fuck and eat your food before I take that plate and launch it at your face” he growled as I sank back into my seat. Tears flooded my eyes as I stared at the ground. Look what you did Embry. Fear coursed through my body as I glanced up at his scowling features.
“I’m not like Noah, you’ll never have to fear me snapping at you, let me protect you, let me hold you, let me nurture you like you deserve.”
My appetite vanished at the sudden ringing of Sebastian’s voice in my mind. Stop. Don’t do this to yourself Embry. “I didn’t mean to upset you” I whimpered, training my focus on the plate of food in front of me. “I have to go,” he strutted out, no goodbye kiss? B-but I always get a goodbye kiss.
Lifting my legs so my heels rested on the chair, I changed the tops quickly and hugged my knees, my tears dropping slowly onto them as I turned my head to stare out the window. There was about as much going on out there then there was in here, nothing.
I didn’t once look at the food again, a sick feeling developing in my stomach at the thought of Noah being upset with me. Wiping my face in my arm I sat on the chair for most of the morning. Doing nothing but embracing the ache in my heart.
I jumped as the door opened, looking up with hope he wouldn’t be mad at me, my breath got caught in my throat at the sight of Sebastian. I had forgotten he was coming today, a worried frown taking over his face as his gaze settled on my tears.
“Princess, what’s wrong?” More sobs burnt at my throat at the way he spoke so gently, just like back at Indigo’s apartment. When he would console me as I spent an endless amount of time crying the first couple of days, why did things have to change?
“Sebastian” I couldn’t help the pleading sob that escaped me as I seeked comfort in him, he had been so good at giving it before. “I’m here now princess, I’ll make it okay again” he promised, lifting me into his arms as I clung to him. I didn’t want to keep going back and forth between the two like this but I was so lost, I felt so confused.
“I just-I just wanted to eat downstairs and- and wear my own clothes and he got mad” I hiccupped, choking on my breaths. “Did he hurt you?” His concerned tone sent me into another fit of sorrow, why was this affecting me so much?
“N-no, I just got a fright” I whimpered, holding onto him tightly as he sat down on the bed. “You’re safe now, he can’t hurt you with me here” he soothed, softly stroking my hair, my sobs dying down.
“C-can we play a game?” I softly wondered, moving my head from his chest so that I could look at him. “What game” he smiled, resulting in a shrug from me as I racked my brains for ideas. There wasn’t much to do here.
“You know what princess, I think we have some board games in the library, how about I go get one and we can play that,” he ruffled my hair, a wide grin on my face. It had been so long since I played a board game.
“And Noah’s not even in the house, so we don’t have to worry about him finding out” he winked, as my stomach churned at the mention of him. As soon as Sebastian left I felt like crying again, I just kept setting myself up didn’t I.
But I was lonely and upset and he was being so soft and nice. What was I meant to do? I really wish these things came with instruction manuals. I just needed somebody right now, and-and Sebastian was offering me that. I didn’t like myself very much at the moment but I didn’t hate myself enough to reject any sense of peace I was being offered.
I bit back a smile as he returned, knowing what I was doing was risky, so very risky. “I got ludo, is that okay?” My heart was welling at how concerned he sounded. But what if this was a lie again, what if he was using me again to get back at Noah.
Biting on my nail, I turned my head away from Sebastian, my thoughts racing around in my mind. Oh god, this was some modern day form of torture. Lifting my gaze to meet him I couldn’t help but trust him, he looked so genuine, it felt so genuine.
Realising he was still waiting on an answer, I nodded as we took our places on the floor, somewhere that was quickly becoming my favourite place to sit and do things. “Yellow please” I lightly said, placing my little yellow characters in their designated positions.
“Embry I hate to do this to you when I know you’re already upset but” I quickly looked at him, anxious for the next words that would leave his mouth, “I hope you’re ready to lose” he feigned sadness. A sweet laugh rolled off my tongue, and I hated him for it, for how he’s so good at making me laugh. At making me feel like me.
We must have played at least two more rounds of the game, me winning twice, before he announced he should probably leave. “You know even though you 100% cheated princess, I still really enjoyed today” he grinned, packing up the board game.
“I-I did too, thank you for-thank you for cheering me up” I avoided his eyeline in embarrassment. Closing my eyes with tranquillity as he leaned over to kiss my cheek, “I told you Embry, I can save you from him.”
Fidgeting anxiously with my fingers, I shook my head, the creeping urge to just let myself go becoming more and more prominent. But no, I needed to remind myself how badly it went last time I left Noah. We can’t do that again.
As he headed for the door I quickly reached to grab his jumper, “wait,” I inhaled shakily, “Noah isn’t going to be working for the next two weeks and I don’t think he’s going to be letting me out of the room anytime soon, not even for Christmas,” I tensed hoping I didn’t sound clingy, “I just, when will I get to see you next?”
I could feel the shame lift from my shoulders at how widely he was smiling at me, “don’t worry princess, I’ll figure something out for you, I love you and I’ll be thinking about you” he quickly planted a good-bye kiss on my forehead.
Leaning against the shut door, I sighed heavily, by god everything was such a mess. A small grin adorning my face, at least I got my good-bye kiss, I giddily trotted over to the bed like a teenage girl after talking to her crush.
We never learn, we’ve been here before.
(Noah’s POV)
I roll my eyes as I pass Sebastian exiting the library while I was on my way to Embry, a plate of food in my hand for her. Today’s special, pizza. “I backsy a seat across from my princess at Christmas dinner” he chuckles, his words causing me to freeze and slowly turn to face him.
Shooting a soul penetrating glare his way, I grimaced as it seemed to have no effect on him, “maybe next year, Sebastian, Embry won’t be joining us at Christmas dinner this year” I gloat. “Really, well try telling mom and dad that” he mocks as I just about stop myself from throwing this plate at him.
Speeding into my fathers office, I drop the plate of pizza on his desk, pacing in front of him. “Yes son” he removes his glasses, a bored look on his face as he stares at me. “Why is Sebastian running his mouth about Embry joining us for Christmas dinner?” I spit out, stopping just in front of the desk.
“Because she will be Noah, and that’s an order” he warned, “she’s my wife, I am the one who gets the final decision on what she does and doesn’t do.”
“That’s interesting Noah, considering the last time I looked, there are no marriage documents for the two of you because you idiotically didn’t think things through and put her name on a death certificate first” he leaned back in his chair, smirking as he watched me seethe.
“So unless you want me to let Sebastian have your little play thing, I suggest you do as I say” balling my hands into fists, I inhaled shakily containing my fury.
“Well then, good night father” I scowled, making my way to our bedroom, my mood spoiled for the evening.
I guess Christmas was going to be a little more stressful this year than previous ones.