It’s so dark…
Everything hurts…
My head is pounding…
My body feels so heavy…
What happened…
All I remember was Liam desperately calling out to me, trying to keep my awake… How tears streamed down his face… Begging me to stay with him…
His heartbreaking scream was the last thing I heard before I passed out.
Was I dead now?
No… I can’t be…
Liam still needed me… I can’t leave him all by himself again…
A blinding light appeared as I forcefully cracked my eyes open. My vision was blurry, but there was the faint sound of a familiar, rhythmic, soft beeping to my side.
I was in a hospital…
Blinking a few times, the heart rate monitor eventually came into focus, displaying a clear red line spiking repetitively every so often. My eyes drifted across the room, scanning over the fluttering pale curtains and sofas only the side of the wall only to find no sign of my little boy.
Where was he? He was brought to the hospital with me, right?
How long was I out for?
Child services wouldn’t have taken him away from me, right?
Anxiety rose from the bottom of my throat.
I unconsciously clenched my hands and unexpectedly received a soft groan in response. My eyes widened as I turned to my left and found a ginormous man by my side.
He was still asleep, uncomfortably hunched over with his head lying on the tiny sliver of free bed space next to me, but the fact that he was currently unconscious did not help with my anxiety in the slightest.
His massive frame spread nearly halfway across my bed, easily dwarfing the tiny, wooden chair that he was sitting on. His muscular figure was shown clearly through his thin shirt, making it quite obvious how easily he could force me to bend to his will.
And yet, his hand felt oddly warm against my skin with a sense of familiarity.
His thick digits were loosely interlaced with my thin fingers, leaving a hefty but comforting weight. Even though I was sure that he could easily snap my bones into two with only his fingers, for some reason, I couldn’t bring myself to pull my hand away from him.
Looking up from our intertwined hands, I glanced over his features.
A sharp jawline… Defined nose… High cheekbones… Plump lips…
Even though his hair was matted over his eyes, with dark bags prominent below his covered eyes, he was honestly a very beautiful man…
However, the peace was soon brought to an end when he started to stir.
My breath hitched when his grip tightened around my hand. He sleepily pressed a tender kiss to the back of my hand, whispering melancholically, “I miss you, Jane.”
My eyes widened at the sound of his husky voice…
The unexpectedly soft term of endearment…
The same name that Liam called me…
I reflexively squeezed his hand, giving away my consciousness by accident.
He froze mid-motion. His eyes fluttered up to mine, lifting his head and revealing his mesmerizing silver eyes.
A flurry of emotion flashed through his eyes. He whispered breathlessly in disbelief, “You’re awake…”
I nodded meekly, too scared to say anything to this ginormous man.
A single tear rolled down his cheek, catching me completely off guard.
He engulfed me in a warm hug, pulling me straight into his chest, “You were out for three whole days… You have no idea how happy I am to see you up again, my love…”
My… love?
My heart rate sped up in a panic when he suddenly cupped my face in his large hand. He skimmed his thumb over my cheek with an unexpected gentleness, but it still didn’t quell my fears.
“I was so scared when Liam suddenly called me and told me that you wouldn’t stop bleeding… The thought of you dying made it feel like my whole world was coming crashing down…” His thumb lightly brushed over my lower lip, whispering softly, “I don’t know if I would’ve been able to continue if I really had lost you…”
His words shot painfully through my heart.
An overwhelming sense of guilt for not knowing who he was.
Just how important was I to him?
I was unable to control my trembling from both the guilt for not remembering him and the fear of what he may do if he found out. He seemed like a very loyal man, but I had no clue what he might do if he found out that I no longer reciprocated his feelings.
Would he get mad?
What if he hit me out of anger?
Would he be like others and try to force himself on me until I accepted him?
But there was no use in trying to hide my panic because my heart rate monitor easily gave away my rising anxiety.
He glanced over at the machine in confusion, watching as it beeped faster with each passing second. His eyebrows furrowed as he turned his attention back to me, gently easing me a little bit away from him and giving me a worried once-over. “Jane, is something wrong? Your heart is beating too quickly… Are you in pain somewhere? Do you want me to get the doctor?”
My heart only beated harder when he leaned closer to me to check my body’s condition. He was was so close to me that his natural scent filled every inch of my pores, flooding me with the smell of old paper and spices.
When his hot breath hit my bare collarbone, I wasn’t able to handle it anymore.
I reflexively shoved him off of me, surprisingly pushing his large stature a few steps away from me.
He was just as stunned by my action. Lips parted in confusion when he looked back at me. “Jane… What’s wrong… Did I-”
“I-I’m s-sorry!” Startled by my own outburst, I instinctively curled up into a ball, wrapping my arms around myself, and pulled the blankets over me as if they could somehow protect me from him. I squeezed my eyes shut, bracing myself for impact, and confessed, “I-It scares me w-when you touch m-me… I-I don’t know w-who you a-are… h-how I got here… or a-anything that h-happened… S-So please d-don’t hurt me… I-I’ll-”
My words were suddenly cut off by a loud slam, forcing my eyes to snap open at the possibility of a newfound source of danger.
However, rather than danger, I was met with a wave of relief as a familiar little figure threw himself at me. I immediately accepted him and pulled him onto my lap, wrapping my arms protectively around him in fear that the other man would lash out at Liam for interrupting us.
It wasn’t anything new for strange men to try to harm my little boy for trying to protect me, but it didn’t mean that I could just accept it. The least I could do was try to protect him by what little means I had.
But Liam seemed completely unfazed by the other man as he let all his guard down and sobbed into my arms, “I-I’m so happy you’re awake again, Mom! I came as soon as Uncle Benedict got the text that you woke up.”
Uncle Benedict? As in Mr. Serman?
Liam didn’t seem to notice my confusion at all as he was buried me under a series of questions filled with all of his worries. “You’re not in pain anywhere, right? Is your head alright? What about your ribs? Your back? Does it hurt when I lie on top of you? It probably does, doesn’t it? I should get off. I’m getting too heavy for you. I don’t want to accidentally hurt you again, Mom.”
Before he could ease himself off of me, I couldn’t stop a particular question from mindlessly slipping passed my lips. “When… did you start calling me Mom?”
He paused mid-motion and looked up at me worriedly, “What do you mean? I’ve been calling you mom since you helped me set up my adoption papers for dad…”
“Your… dad?”
An indescribable flurry of emotions passed through his eyes when he realized how lost I was. Trying to blink back his tear, he shakily explained, “You’re my mom, Ms. Jane… And Mr. Rafael is my dad… I’m both his and your precious son… Don’t you remember? You said that I’m your good boy…”
I broke at the sight of his tears and cooed softly, “Please don’t cry, honey. Of course, I’m your mom… You have always been my son… I-I’m just have a bit of trouble remembering about…”
My voice dropped off when my eyes drifted hesitantly over the towering man to my left.
Liam’s supposed dad…
But Liam was not satisfied by my half-hearted response.
With as much force as he could muster, Liam pulled the the tall man by his arm down to our height and exclaimed, “He is your husband and my dad!”
I was slightly startled by his sudden change in demeanor, but Liam took no note and only continued with his angry explanation.
“He’s saved us and protected us when no one else did! How can you say you don’t remember him?!”
Rafael tried to softly call out to him in an attempt to calm him down, but Liam paid no mind to him.
Liam pulled him even closer to me as if proximity was the issue, but it only made my heart rate monitor pick up.
Liam faltered ever so slightly at my response. His voice softened. “You love him… The two of you are always all over each other… Why are you acting like this, mom…”
It was almost as if he was begging me to go back to normal.
Despite his cold intimidating appearance, Rafael easily picked up on Liam’s defeated tone and pulled my little boy into his arm as if it was second nature to him. Rafael rubbed him back soothingly, letting Liam release all his pent-up pain and frustration in the safety of the crook of his neck.
“It’s going to be okay, Liam… Mom is just experiencing a bit of memory loss at the moment… It’s not her fault, so please don’t be mad at her…”
Rafael was trying very hard to ease Liam’s pained cries, rubbing his back and kissing his head softly between each coo. But it only made Liam cry harder.
Guilt flooded every inch of my body.
I had never seen Liam so distressed before, and it was all because of me.
Unable to do any better, Rafael looked at me apologetically, “He’s not actually upset with you, Jane… He’s just been feeling anxious the entire time you were unconscious, and I think it has finally become too much for him to handle…” Taking a few steps back, creating an even larger gap between us than before, he continued softly, “Please get some rest, Jane. I’m going to go outside for a moment with Liam and help him calm down.”
I nodded meekly, unable to bring myself to say anything in reply.
I watched as his broad figure retreated out of my room with Liam’s little arms wrapped tightly around his neck. Liam was so distraught that he couldn’t even lift his head off of Rafael’s shoulder as he cried into the crook of Rafael’s neck.
Even with the door now closed, I could still hear Liam’s muffled cries as they walked away from my room.
I curled up into a ball and pulled my knees tightly to my chest, trying very hard not to cry as well
The way Liam cried for me to go back to “normal.” Begging me to remember a man who only shot fear through my body now.
He was so… big…
As muscular as any dedicated bodybuilder but much taller than any one of them could ever be…
He was much too dangerous…
He was clearly much stronger than anyone who had ever tried to hurt me before in the past… I knew just by the way his muscles rippled beneath his shirt despite being hidden from plain sight…
How could I have ever married such a man? One who could easily take advantage of me at any moment?
But the two rings on the ring finger of my left hand said otherwise.
An engagement ring consisting of a large teardrop-shaped diamond with an elegant white gold wedding ring that mirrored my family heirloom stacked on top.
A family heirloom that I was no longer wearing despite how precious it was to me. But instead, it was now resting on that man’s finger.
The only conclusion that I could’ve come up with was that I must’ve willingly given him my heirloom at some point in time. If I didn’t, he would’ve never picked out a ring that I would’ve liked so much, one that showed that he had placed great thought into making it match my family’s heirloom.
I had to accept the fact that I had willingly agreed to be his wife.
Liam would’ve never flung himself so easily to that man if I had been forced.
He had always been one to stay glued to my side… insisting that he needed no one else… lashing out at any man who tried to get close to me even if they weren’t trying to harm me…
But now, he sought out comfort in the said frightening man rather than me.
As Liam said, it was clear that that man was his dad and my husband.
And I was the one who caused all of their pain…
The way they looked at me when they realized I couldn’t remember what seemed to be a core piece of my life…
It was almost as if I was someone who had stolen the place of their Jane.