“What’s wrong with you today?”
Huh? I looked up from the mixing bowl of pancake batter in confusion. “What do you mean, Liam?”
He shrugged half-heartedly and replied as he continued dropping chocolate chips into the pancake batter, “Normally, you’re always clinging onto Ms. Jane and asking for kisses whenever you think I’m not looking, but you’ve barely been within a ten feet radius of her all morning.”
Embarrassment immediately rose inside of me.
It was already bad enough that I could barely get close to Jane today without dirty thoughts popping up. The mere sight of her reminds me of how alluring she looked underneath me earlier before I accidentally went too far. How sinfully lovely her moans sounded against my ear. How smooth her bare skin felt under my touch.
Even though I just came back from the humiliation of driving back to my apartment in the cold with a boner and spending more than 30 minutes in an icy cold shower in the middle of the winter to get it down, my body still wouldn’t listen to me and kept insisting on getting turned on by the littlest of things.
The nape of her bare neck whenever she tilted her head to read something from her book.
The wafts of her sweet fruity scent whenever she walked passed me.
The mere sight of her plump lips.
My cheeks burned when I realized my thoughts were starting to drift off again.
It was already embarrassing enough that I seemed to be reverting back to a horny teenager, but it was even worse that even a five-year-old noticed it.
I warily glanced at Liam, feeling highly ashamed of thinking about his mother in such an inappropriate manner while he was standing right next to me, but he didn’t seem to take any note of it. If anything, he simply continued adding more chocolate chips into the batter as if he didn’t ask such a shameless question.
I awkwardly cleared my throat and lied, “Um… It’s nothing. I’m just trying to spend some more time with you…” Changing the subject, I took the bowl out of his hand, which was now more chocolate chips than actual pancake batter. “I think that’s enough chocolate for now. Why don’t you tell your mother that breakfast will be ready soon? I will finish cooking them in just a few minutes, and we can eat together, okay?”
He nodded obediently as he hopped off his stool with an adorable little oomph and untied his child-sized apron decorated in cartoon strawberries, one that distinctly matched Jane’s apron that was hanging in the closet. After carefully hanging his apron back on the lower hook of the two, he ran out of the kitchen and scurried up the stairs in search of his said mother.
Once he was out of earshot, I sighed in relief. I must’ve reached new levels of shame after everything that happened in the few hours that is today.
Trying to take my thoughts off it, I heated up a skillet and started dolloping spoonfuls of batter onto its surface.
Liam was a smart boy, one who recently received an IQ score of 156 as part of his entrance exam for the university I found for him. I didn’t exactly know his past, but I did know that he wasn’t just academically smart. He was much more observant and emotionally mature than any five-year-old I’ve ever met, maybe even more so than the majority of the adults I knew.
As such, it worried me that he might eventually catch onto what happens in the bedroom. It wasn’t exactly something I wanted a five-year-old to be exposed to yet, even if he had the mindset of an adult.
I sighed heavily as I mindlessly flipped the pancakes.
This wouldn’t have been an issue in a normal relationship, one where kids came only after marriage and several years of alone time together as a couple. But I would never use it as a reason not to be with them. If anything, I was grateful to have a child who was so clever and understanding.
I was soon pulled out of my thoughts when I heard a chipper voice call from behind me, “Mr. Cordova, I brought Ms. Jane down!”
“Thanks, Liam!” I added the last couple of dollops of batter onto the skillet and added, “I only have a few more to go, but you can get started first.”
A small affirmative hum answered in reply. Like his mother, Liam had a sweet tooth and was probably eagerly digging into the overfilled chocolate pancakes I had left on the dining table.
I chuckled quietly to myself at the thought of finding Liam’s face covered in chocolate again. Maybe I should’ve restrained him a bit better before he dumped half a bag of the chips into the batter.
Staring mindlessly at the bubbling pancakes, I didn’t notice Jane entering the kitchen until I felt a pair of thin arms wrap around my waist, just barely linking her fingers together. I reflexively tensed up in surprise and glanced under my arm to see the said intruder.
Jane looked up sheepishly from underneath me and explained, “Liam said that you were acting weird and wanted me to make up with you.”
I embarrassedly diverted my eyes. Mindlessly flipping the pancakes, I muttered softly, “You don’t need to force yourself… It’s really more of a problem caused by me than you…”
She shooked her head quietly. Her arms squeezed my torso as she buried her face into my back. “But I wanted to talk to you too… I don’t like it when you’re not around me…”
The back of my neck started to heat up as she pressed her body closer to me, making me stutter, “J-Jane? L-Liam’s going to see us if y-you keep…”
Catching me completely off guard, she smoothly maneuvered herself in front of me, shutting off the fire in the process. She pulled me down by the front of my shirt and planted a soft kiss on the base of my neck, the closest location she could reach.
Pressing her delicate little body against my chest. Brushing her soft lips up against my skin. Filling my nostrils with her delightful scent.
My cheeks heated up as I took in her similarly tempting outfit. She wasn’t wearing anything particularly sensual in any sense. If anything, it was more of a cute outfit rather than something tempting.
But, the thing that lit a burning desire in me was the sense of innocence that came with her light brown overall dress with a creamy white knitted sweater underneath. A part of me just wanted to ruin her innocence until she was thoroughly claimed as mine and only mine.
I gulped as I tried to push my urges down.
Jane looked up at me with her devastatingly bright violet eyes and a sheepish smile gracing her pink lips, completely unaware of my spiraling thoughts. She replied with a small blush, “Um… Liam was actually the one who recommended giving you some ph-physical a-affection to try to lift your mood…”
I glanced out of the corner of my eye at the said boy who was currently stuffing his face with pancakes across the kitchen counter. He must’ve noticed my look because he looked up from his plate with a toothy grin and gave me a thumbs-up.
I chuckled lightly as I turned my attention back to Jane.
I gently wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her closer. Leaning over her, I whispered softly, “Thank you, love. It did make me feel better, but you don’t need to force yourself to give me physical affection just because I may be upset. I know that you’re still a bit uncomfortable with what happened-”
“I’m not.” She pulled herself closer to me until every inch of her body pressed against me. “I admit that it was difficult for me to calm my body back down after you left, but I don’t want to hide from you either. I want to get better and learn how to get used to feeling your touch on my bare skin. I promise I won’t push myself too much, so please don’t feel like you need to tiptoe around me.”
I pursued my lips. Even though she said it was alright, I still couldn’t get the image of her body trembling underneath me out of my head. Would it really be alright for me to give in selfishly?
“Please… Achilles… I don’t want this to keep holding us back… I want to show you how much I love you… ”
Her pleas tore my walls down with ease. When it came to Jane, I didn’t have a single ounce of willpower to say no to her.
“Okay, Jane…” I pressed a soft kiss on her forehead. “But I want you to remember that I will always love you even if you never overcome your fear. It’s not something you can control, and I would never hold it against you.”
She flushed under my touch and nodded mutely. Burying her face in my chest, she replied softly, “Thank you for loving me… And I hope you know that both Liam and I love you just as much.”
“I do.” I gently stroked her head as I glanced over at Liam, who had finished the pile of chocolate pancakes by himself. Chuckling lightly to myself, I continued, “But I think Liam likes how I spoil him more than anything else… I really don’t know how to say no to him… or you either…”
She propped her chin up on my chest and immediately refuted, “You’re wrong. Liam really does love you more than you would think.” Her eyes diverted to the side, glancing at the little boy at subject. “He always asks about you when you’re not here. And whenever you are here, he’s always trying to find things he can do with you. I think he sees you as his father… He might even like you more than he likes me… ”
I chuckled softly at her adorable little pout. I pecked her lips and reassured her, “If he sees me as his father, then I am more than certain that he considers you as his mother.” I gently brushed her hair to the side. “And I’m sure he loves you more than anyone else in this world, like how I do with you. You fed and bathed him when no one else would. You gave him a place to call home where he felt safe enough to be himself.”
“But he still calls me Ms. Jane after all these years…”
I smiled nervously and confessed, “I uh… spoke to him before I proposed to you and uh… He admitted at he wanted to be your son but was scared that you might not want to accept him since he came from the streets… I assured him that that wasn’t the case, but he had been a bit too nervous about calling you mom to do it just yet… Give him a bit more time, and I’m sure he’ll come around soon…”
She excitedly peeked out of the side of my body at Liam, watching him tidy up his dirty dishes into a single pile. Then, she looked up at me and hushedly whispered in a loud whisper, unable to contain her excitement, “Really?! He sees me as his mom? He’s always been a bit off standish at times, so I was worried that he might not like me.”
I nodded. “It’s always quite adorable to watch him worry about whether you would prefer being called mother or mom.”
“Mom! I actually want to be called mommy… but Liam probably wouldn’t like something so childish, so I’ll have to make do with mom.” Her eyes twinkled as she stared up at me, practically begging me with her eyes to mention it to Liam subtly.
I sheepishly diverted my eyes, suddenly feeling guilty for telling her about Liam’s secret internal turmoil.
Noticing how Liam was looking at us in confusion, probably confused by the sight of an overly excited Jane, I quickly maneuvered my body to block his view and hushedly whispered, “Y-you can’t let Liam know that I told you, okay? He won’t trust me anymore if he finds out I told you his secret.”
Her eyes widened comically large as she nodded obediently, making a zip-and-lock motion with her fingers over her lips.
Cute…
Before I could dwell on how adorable my fiancee was acting any longer, a little voice called out from the living, breaking us out of our little bubble.
“Ms. Jane! Mr. Cordova! We’ll be late for the seminar if we don’t leave soon.”
Jane giggled at my startled expression and then slipped out of my arms. She pecked my cheek before making her way out of the kitchen, replying to Liam, “Coming, honey!”
My heart pounded in my chest as I walked her little figure disappear from the doorway, watching her little dress sway from side to side just below her bottom with each step.
It was obvious to any onlooker that I was completely hooked on my little angel, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. This was my family and I planned to keep them safe no matter the cost.