Days have passed since Benedict found out about my budding relationship.
Although nothing had changed between Danary and me, I felt more stressed than ever before.
I still went to her house in the evenings for dinner and helped Liam with his university-level problem sets, but I was never able to bring myself to ask about her past. I feared that she would try to leave me once I reminded her of the person with whom she still held attachments for, so I buried it deep down inside of me and tried to pretend that everything was fine.
Even though my body itched to hire a private investigator to look into her past and figure out who it was, I cared too much about her to invade her privacy like that. She would only hate me if she ever found it.
Instead, I kept myself as busy as possible so that my mind wouldn’t wander in the middle of the day. Meetings stack upon one another such that there was always someone new wandering into my office to give me a report. Paperwork for finalizing overseas investments. Branching out to new factories and warehouses for my production system, even though I had originally put it off as a 5th-level priority that didn’t need to be completed until next year.
As my difficulties with sleep became worse, I ended up starting work at 4 AM in the morning and continuing straight until 7 PM in the evenings. Only signing out at 7 PM to not miss my daily dinner plans with Danary and her son.
But whenever I returned to my empty apartment for the night, I would be left alone to my own devices with those haunting thoughts, so I would work on leftover paperwork in my home office in an attempt to occupy myself until I passed out at my desk.
Even though it was tiring, I would never blame those two for my own intrusive thoughts. It was my problem that I needed to figure out how to handle by myself. I needed to figure it out soon because there was no way I would be able to give them up now, not when little Liam’s clever but mischievous personality started to grow on me and when Danary’s soft touches became the highlight of my day.
I sighed as I closed my books for today. Noting the small hand of the clock that lingered right passed the seven mark, I stuffed my items into my bag and hurried out of my office. Most of my floor was already empty, including Danary’s dark office. She must’ve started to head back by herself already.
I glanced at my phone and found a short message confirming my thoughts.
“I saw that you were still working in your office and didn’t want to bother you, but we’ll be waiting for you at home. I’m making croquettes with Liam’s help tonight, so try not to work too late otherwise, it’s going to get cold by the time you get here and that’s no good! () ~Danary”
I chuckled at her adorable little emoticon attached to the end of the message.
It was things like this that made me wonder if I was just being paranoid for thinking that she might ditch me at any moment for another person. That I was just overthinking.
Because if she was… Would she have opened up this much to me and treated me this warmly?
With a small smile on my lips, I tucked my phone back into my back pocket and stepped into the elevator, going straight down into the garage. In less than 30 minutes, I managed to make my way all the way to upper Manhattan and parked in my usual spot out in front of her house.
Smoothing out my shirt, I walked up to her front steps and knocked on her door.
In just a few seconds, I heard the usual series of pitter-patter coming up the door before a familiar set of violet eyes popped out in the lower left window panel next to the door.
Then, the door swung open, revealing Liam.
Although he still didn’t smile much, even after becoming more comfortable with me, I could tell that he was happy to see me from the small glint in his eyes. It was the same shimmer that his mother had whenever she found a new book.
He chirped, “You came earlier than expected. We’re still shaping the croquettes.”
I chuckled at his appearance, taking in all the specks of flour scattered across his face and the paste-like mixture coating his hand. I gently wiped off the flour under his eyes and replied, “Well, your mother warned me that it wouldn’t taste as good once it’s cooled down, so I made sure to come as soon as possible.”
He hummed happily and held up his cakey hands, “I’m going to go back to helping Ms. Jane coat the croquettes with breadcrumbs. Remember to lock the door behind you.”
I nodded and watched as he scurried back toward the kitchen. I slipped off my suit jacket and hung it on a hook inside her closet next to the door. Making sure not to forget the flowers I got for her on the way here, I carefully made my way into the kitchen, stepping around all of the books lying on the floor around the house.
Right as I stepped into the kitchen, the scent of fry oil instantly smacked my senses as the distinct sound of sizzling rang through the room. There were bowls and bowls of food lying around the kitchen, with flour scattered all across the countertop around Liam as he helped with coating the pucks next to him.
Although dinner was always wonderfully delicious at their house, I quickly learned that they were terribly messy while cooking, even though they were good at making the food taste good.
I carefully stepped over an open box of breadcrumbs on the ground as I made my way over to Danary. I cautiously slipped an arm around her waist, making sure not to startle her while she was standing next to a big pot of hot oil, and pressed a soft kiss to the right side of her temple. “Everything smells wonderful in here.”
She blushed but didn’t pull away. Rather, she leaned back a bit more into my chest and replied, “I’m glad you like it, but I wasn’t expecting to see you so soon already.”
I hummed as I pulled out the bouquet of flowers from my back toward her, “I saw your message and decided to leave a bit earlier.”
Her eyes widened slightly at the sight of flowers. Even though I got her flowers every time I come over, she was still always surprised.
Setting her long wooden chopsticks down, she graciously accepted the bouquet while taking a quick sniff of the flower. “Thank you, Rafael. But I already told you that you didn’t need to do this every time.”
I shook my head. “You’re always making me dinner, so it’s the least I could do. Plus, it’s not like I have anything better to do with my money.”
She glanced around at the various jars of flowers that had decorated her home since I started having dinner at her house. “I don’t even have any vases left…”
“Then I’ll remember also to pick up a vase next time I get flowers.”
She pouted at my little joke and huffed, “That’s not what I meant.”
I chuckled at her adorable expression. Planting one more kiss on her forehead, I took the flowers from her hands and said, “Why don’t you finish up cooking while I put these in some water for you?”
Nodding quietly, she had a soft smile on her lips as she turned back to flipping the croquettes frying in the pot.
I took one last glance at her before walking out of the kitchen and distributing the flowers into the vases already standing in the different corners of her house, taking out a few dead ones along the way. I peeked at her from over my shoulder and watched as she hummed happily with Liam by her side as she cooked.
This was what I meant was the happiest part of my day, the only part of the day where I felt alive. Collecting my forehead kisses for the day and being allowed to be with Danary and her son in such a homely manner. It was the exact opposite of the deafening silence of my empty apartment.
Time flew by in her house.
In no time at all, two hours had already passed. We had finished eating dinner together on her little round table, and I had even gone through this week’s problem sets on Liam’s tablet for his aerodynamics class.
As Danary started putting Liam to bed upstairs, I quietly gathered the empty dishes from the dining table and brought them into the kitchen. I washed the dishes and left them out on the rack to dry as I cleaned up the mess left on the countertop, ranging from dustings of flour mixed with egg yolk to bowls of all sorts of bizarre mixtures.
Danary was still upstairs when I finished tidying up the kitchen, so I occupied myself with wandering about her living room. She and Liam collected so many books that their bookshelf was completely overfilled with piles of books sitting in stacks all around the room instead.
I squatted down to take a look at her books and found titles that seemed to range from romance novels all the way to post-doctorate research articles. I mindlessly straightened out a few books here and there as I explored their bookcase, naturally organizing the shelf out of my own preference for orderliness.
In the middle of organizing one of her lower shelves, a small glint caught my eyes in the back of the case. I didn’t mean to snoop, but curiosity got the better of me as I pushed aside the books that blocked it. I reached in and wrapped my fingers around what appeared to be a smooth frame.
When I pulled it out, I found a slightly crinkled photo pressed carefully in the frame. In the picture was a slightly younger version of Danary giggling at a what appeared to be a younger version of Liam, maybe only one or two year old at the time from the looks of it. But what stood out the most was the tall, black-haired, violet-eyed man standing next to Danary, holding Liam in his arms with a loving gaze down upon them.
He looked like the older version of Liam, sharing almost all their facial features down to the tee. And most of all was the familiar-looking silver band resting on his ring finger.
It was the same exact ring that Danary wore. I had always thought the ring seemed a bit thick for her, but now I knew why it was like that.
She looked so happy with him… So confident and full of life…
I guess I was right then… I didn’t know if she was widowed or if he had left her, but it seemed like her heart already belonged to someone else.
Why else would she hide this picture deep within her treasured area and still wear his band on her ring finger?
I quickly put it back when I heard the footsteps coming down the stairs and straightened the books back out.
“Oh my… You didn’t need to clean up my entire house like this, Rafael. You’re our guest.”
“It’s really alright. I wanted to help out. Plus, I would feel bad if I always came here for a free meal without doing anything in return.” Placing the last book in place, I turned around to face Danary and found her standing right behind me in a cream-colored, long-sleeved nightgown that fell down to her ankles. “Did you already put Liam to bed?”
She hummed mindlessly as her eyes traced my facial features. Even with me kneeling on the ground, she was barely any taller than me.
Slightly startled by close her eyes were to me, I gulped and diverted my eyes to the ground with my hands on my knees. “Um… I should probably get going then…”
But before I could get up off the ground, a tender hand cupped my cheek as a thin finger brushed under my eye.
My heart was beating like crazy as she leaned down closer to me, bringing my face into both of her hands. She was so close to me that I could smell the familiar tart-sweetness wafting out from her.
I stuttered, “D-Danary, w-what are y-you-”
“You’re exhausted… Your eyes are all sunken in… Have you been overworking again?”
My eyes widened, not expecting her to notice. I thought that I had hidden it well enough not to be caught.
I gave her a weak smile and gently wrapped my fingers around her thin wrists, pulling her hands off of my face as the cold ring on her finger hauntingly slid across my skin. “I’m alright. I’ve just been a bit busy recently, but it really isn’t all that bad compared to how much worse it could be. Plus, I’m used to it, so please don’t worry about it.”
She seemed to doubt my words with how she tensed up in my hands.
Standing back up, I pressed a soft kiss on her knuckles. “I should get going now, but I hope you have a good night’s rest, Jane. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”
She nodded mutely, still eying me hesitantly.
I gave her a reassuring smile before placing one last kiss on her forehead. I politely excused myself and gathered my coat from the closet before slipping my shoes back on.
I locked the door behind me as I left.
Climbing back into my car, I watched as her shadow passed behind by the curtains on her window before the lights went out. I sighed heavily as I leaned back into my car in pitch darkness.
I really am a fool, picking the one woman who would never be able to give me her entire heart.