Evelyn
It took time to calm my racing thoughts, but even now, I had no answers. Still nothing but a plain sheet of blank covering my whole mind. Every corner.
I needed to hear it from Jacob-his opinion, his view. This wasn’t just my decision or a race alone. It was ours.
We had to face this situation together…
For….
Our baby.
“I’ve looked into a few venues,” Jacob murmured, brushing his thumb over my ring. The moonlight caught it, making it gleam. “I liked some, but a few need a closer look. You should come with me,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to the side of my head, “Well, you are coming with me.”
His warmth lulled me for a moment, my eyes fluttering shut.
“So, no more secrets like everything else?” I teased, a soft chuckle escaping as I leaned back against him. His chest met my back, his warmth hugging me and his nose grazed my neck as he inhaled deeply.
“If I could keep it a secret, I would,” he deadpanned, making me laugh again. “But I want the venue to be your choice. Besides, not everything will stay hidden forever. I’ll reveal the date in some grand way-if you don’t sweet-talk it out of me first,” he continued, “But don’t worry, I will make sure you have enough time for your bacholerette and everything.”
“Such generosity, Mr. Adriano.” I kissed the back of his hand, turning to face him. His eyes met mine, steady and warm.
“So, tell me,” I said, steadying my voice, “what happens after the wedding?”
“Obviously, a months-long honeymoon.” His tone was light, but I didn’t laugh. Not this time. If this was our usual moments-I’d have laughed. But nothing about the situation right now was light. It was scary, confusing and put all of our plans infront of hundreds of questions that maybe neither of us were ready to answer.
“Right. Silly me.” My voice wavered, nerves tightening my chest. Still, I pressed on. “Now that we’re getting married… have you thought about kids?”
He froze.
A flicker of something unspoken passed through his eyes, and the silence between us stretched until it threatened to snap.
“It’s too early for kids,” he said finally, his voice low. “I’ve planned so much for us already. There’s no room for… that kind of burden right now.”
Burden.
The word hit like a cold blade, sinking into my chest and leaving me hollow.
“Babies aren’t a burden, Jacob,” I said softly, cupping his face. I pulled back just enough to look at him, my heart holding on to a flicker of hope-hope that he hadn’t meant it. That deep down, he didn’t truly believe those words.
“Yes, they are,” he chuckled lightly, brushing off my concern. “Imagine spending the first year of marriage wiping diapers and cleaning up messes instead of traveling the world and living our life.”
But the idea didn’t depress me.
I imagined it-having a tiny soul between us, watching them grow, treasuring every fleeting moment of their childhood. That kind of love didn’t feel like a burden. It felt like a blessing.
“When did you start having such a… depressing view on kids?” I asked, my voice tinged with disbelief. “I remember you once saying, ‘Someday, I want you to have my baby.’ What changed?”
“Someday, baby.” His voice softened as he leaned closer, his body pressing against mine. “I said ‘someday.’ And that someday? It’s not any time soon. It’s easy to dream about, but making it real? Taking it seriously?” He raised an eyebrow, and despite his casual tone, something felt off-like he was holding back a truth I wasn’t ready to hear, “the view kinda changes.”
“So… you never want kids?”
The question slipped out before I could stop it, and I saw him freeze. Tension rippled through him, but then, as if shaking it off, he gave me the softest smile.
Without a word, he sat up and pulled me into his lap with a fluid motion. My legs wrapped around his waist, my body flush against his warmth. His hands rested on my hips as he whispered, “I don’t know about the future, baby.” His lips brushed mine, his voice tender, soothing. “But right now? It’s just you and me. My plans are for us. Let’s live those first-then we’ll figure out the rest.”
Before I could respond, he kissed me. Slowly, deeply. And as his hands slid up my sides, pulling my dress away, his words lingered in the back of my mind, unanswered but heavy.
***
The duvet covered our entwined bodies, the warmth of Jacob’s presence grounding me. I watched him as he slept, his face serene and untroubled, his breathing steady.
Tomorrow was the doctor’s appointment.
Tomorrow, I’d know for sure if I was pregnant. Though deep down, I already believed the tests.
My gaze shifted to the ring on my finger, catching the faint glow of moonlight. Then back to Jacob. What we had now meant everything-more than I’d ever dreamed. But that didn’t mean I couldn’t embrace what life had unexpectedly placed before us.
This baby…
It was ours.
A piece of him. A piece of me. A piece of us.
A part of our memories. Our journey. Our life.
And no matter the situation, I couldn’t think of anything else but accepting this baby, welcoming them into our world with open arms.
I leaned closer, brushing my lips against Jacob’s cheek. There was this weight on my chest, pressing down brutally and only he had the power to lighten it. With his words or maybe his actions-anyhow. But only he had the power.
My fingers threaded through his soft hair, and even in his sleep, his arms tightened around me, pulling me closer. A small smile tugged at my lips, a moment of calm amidst the storm within me.
Tomorrow, I’d tell him. After the appointment, we’d face this together.
Whatever came next, we would figure it out. Together.
I could have the whole world against me, but this man, he would be by my side, right?