KESTER.
I stood by my table and stared blankly into the laptop, watching her prepare for work as though I hadn’t watched her sleep all night.
With Kasmine, it was never enough. She was too beautiful a sight to ignore. Too fucking intoxicating. The kind of beauty that made my cock hard every time I laid eyes on her.
She went about her usual morning routine styling her wavy, luscious brown hair, humming softly under her breath, singing along to whatever song played from the speakers, completely unaware of how fucking hypnotic she was.
Then came the part that always made my lips twitch with satisfaction.
She moved to her wardrobe, rummaging through her clothes my clothes and picked out one of the sexy skirts and blouses I had gotten for her.
She didn’t know what I had done. She had no idea that her wardrobe was no longer hers but mine. That I had quietly replaced every unappealing piece of clothing she had with the ones I preferred-skirts that hugged her hips, blouses that clung to her curves just right, and gowns long enough to let me slide into her petals easily no matter where we were.
Although I did it subtly and lovingly, she hadn’t realized it yet.
I liked seeing her dressed how I wanted. Liked knowing that every morning, she unknowingly wrapped herself in something of my choosing.
She was so blinded by my act of love and affection that she wasn’t seeing the real intent behind my actions.
Good.
Just as I was about to close the laptop, something she did made me halt immediately. I saw a small, white medicine bottle in her hands.
She looked toward her door briefly, her fingers twisting off the cap before she pulled out a tablet and slipped it into her mouth.
My pulse spiked.
What the fuck?
Was she sick?
Why hadn’t she told me?
I leaned closer to the screen, trying to make out the name of the drug, but the camera’s angle wasn’t clear enough.
I watched carefully how she tucked it into the pocket of one of her sweatshirts an old one she should have discarded and put it under her wardrobe.
Smart girl.
But not smart enough.
Now, I was more interested in the content of that bottle than anything else. More than the office, more than the meetings awaiting me.
Behind me, the bed rustled, and a slow, sleepy sigh followed. “Kester?” June’s drowsy voice called me from the bed, but I barely paid any attention to her, “You’re back. I waited up all night for you.”
No response.
“Look…” She stood up and walked towards me, “I am sorry about yesterday… It was just…” She stopped abruptly, and I knew why.
She had seen the tattoo on my back.
“Good Selene! Kester!” the excitement in her voice grated on my nerves, “You got tats?” She made to touch it as if I had done it for her.
I moved like the flash of light, grabbing her hand before she even dared to touch it, “Don’t!” I said in a hard tone, and I saw the way she flinched.
“I’m sorry. I just want to admire it. That’s all.” The water pooling in her eyes fought for release, but she held it back, clinging to whatever dignity she had left. “It looks really beautiful,” she added as if that would make a difference.
I said nothing.
“I mean… I’ve never seen one on you before. Never knew you liked them.”
Of course, I didn’t necessarily like them.
And, of course, she hadn’t seen one on me before because she was too blinded by the urge to please me when I was sitting naked before her. She missed it. Too bad for her. Because she’d never get another opportunity to see me naked ever again.
Her gaze flickered to my laptop, but before she could even process what she had seen, I snapped it shut with enough force to make me wonder if I had cracked the damn screen.
A thick silence followed for a moment before the ringing of my phone chattered it.
I let go of her wrist and reached for my phone.
“Fucker,” I greeted, pressing the phone to my ear.
A low chuckle filtered into my ear, “I know, I know… Don’t judge me just yet, stupid,” Norlan’s voice came through as light and amused as usual. “Just landed a moment ago.”
It took all the restraint in me not to react like a fucking kid.
I had been waiting to hear those words for months.
Finally.
I needed him right now. I really do.
“Took you long enough,” I scoffed, forcing nonchalance into my tone. “Perfect timing, anyway.”
“How? What’s happening?” he asked curiously.
“You came just a day before my trip to the Maldives. Isn’t that wonderful?”
I heard a sharp inhale. But it wasn’t from Norlan.
It was June.
She froze for a second, then whipped around, eyes wide with disbelief, “What? Maldives?” She whispered harshly, her face twisting into a frown that I easily ignored.
“Oops. How long will you be gone?” He asked, and I couldn’t describe how happy I was that he would also miss me while I was away. His tone said it all.
“Just about a week,” I replied, and June scrunched her face again, running a hand through her disheveled hair as she began to pace the room.
She was desperate for me to end the call, eager to pounce on me with her endless fucking questions-questions she had no right to ask.
“I’m sure June would be excited,” Norlan teased.
A smirk tugged at my lips. “Yeah. That’s if she was the one I was going with. But it isn’t her. I’m going with Kasmine.”
I stood up, walking towards my closet.
“Ohhh. Right. Kasmine.” His tone shifted. “How is she?”
“She’s fine. We need to talk, you know?” I replied, bringing out my navy blue suit from my closet. I ran my fingers along the crisp fabric, admiring it briefly before laying it neatly on the bed.
June’s restlessness skyrocketed, and I saw her already sweating at her temple despite the air conditioner in the room.
“I’ll see you later in the day. I just need to freshen up and…” He paused as if weighing options before he spoke, “No, scratch that. I’ll see you as soon as I freshen up.”
“Alright. See you soon.” The moment I dropped the call, June exploded.
“What the fuck, Kester?!”
I exhaled, dragging my hand down my face.
Here we go.
“You didn’t tell me you were traveling! Tomorrow!”
She yelled at me, her voice a blend of anger, disbelief, and something else. Something uglier.
I met her gaze before I slowly started putting on my sleeves. “Didn’t I?”
Her lips parted, then pressed into a thin line, “No, Kester, you didn’t,” she forced out in a lower voice now, as if willing herself not to push me too far. “You didn’t tell me. Not once. Not even a mention of it.”
I barely reacted, moving toward the closet again, pulling out a pair of shoes, and placing them beside my suit.
“It’s just a trip, June,” I murmured. “Why do you sound like it’s the end of the world?”
Her eyes flickered with pain, “Because it matters, Kester,” she bit out. “You matter. This… whatever we are, it matters.”
I scoffed, shaking my head as I reached for my watch on the dresser. “Don’t start with that.”
Her hands clenched at her sides, but she didn’t lash out. Instead, she swallowed hard and took a step closer.
“Fine,” she said in a softer voice. “I won’t start with that. I’ll start with this instead-book me a ticket, too.”
I stilled for a second. Then turned to face her fully.
She was serious. I could see it in her eyes.
I let out a short, humorless chuckle. “You can’t be serious.”
“I am,” she shot back with a raw expression as she stepped closer, “Kester, I’ve never asked you for anything like this before. Ever. But I want this. I need this. Just book me a ticket.”
“No.”
“Why?” she whispered.
I exhaled through my nose, already growing tired of the conversation. “Because I’m only going with Kasmine. It’s her dream.”
Her face crumbled for a split second before she masked it with forced composure. “So? Book another. What’s one more person?”
I moved past her, grabbing my cologne from the dresser. “It’s not about numbers, June,” I muttered. “It’s about who I want there.”
She looked down, biting her lip hard enough to turn it white. Then, she lifted her gaze back to mine.
“I have dreams too,” she said, “Things I want to do, places I want to see. But you’ve never… you’ve never fulfilled any of mine. Not once.”
I didn’t respond immediately. I just studied her before I finally gave her the truth.
“That’s because I owe you nothing.”
She sucked in a sharp breath.
“And you?” I continued, tilting my head slightly. “You’re the one wasting your time with me.”
Her throat bobbed as she swallowed, her eyes glistening, but she didn’t let the tears fall.
“The earlier you find a man who’d fulfill your dreams, the better for you.”
I turned away, picking up my watch and strapping it on. I didn’t need to see her face to know she was hurting.
But I wasn’t here to fix that.
I never was.
***
There were never protocols when it had to do with me.
I walked past the queue of people waiting to see the doctor, their tired eyes flickering in my direction as I moved through the hall like I owned the place-because, in a way, I did.
“This way, Alpha,” the polite nurse who led the way said with a smile I barely acknowledged.
I nodded before pushing the door open.
“Alpha Kester,” The doctor, who was in her early forties, greeted, offering me a seat.
“Doctor Abbey,” I replied.
“What brings you here today?” She asked. We both knew I didn’t come here for checkups.
Wordlessly, I reached into my pocket and pulled out the small, unlabelled bottle, placing it on her desk.
Her eyes flicked to it, then back to me.
“Tell me what these are,” I said, barely containing the storm that was raging in me.