KESTER.
I hadn’t slept. Not even for a second.
I almost lost it. But I didn’t because it was Kasmine, after all. She’s the one thing that keeps me tethered. My antidote.
If it were anyone else, I swear, I’d have taken their heads off by now. The maids would be scrubbing the blood off the marble floors already.
I had been lost in thoughts all the while she was sleeping on me. Her soft snores broke through the static in my mind, calming my racing heart.
It’s always been this way for the past five years now. Her very existence is my calm.
She tames my demons, even without her knowing. Little wonder I kept taking her belongings and stacking them up in my room over the years.
But that fucking slap… Her hurtful words…
It broke something in me.
I felt it snap the moment her palm met my face.
For one breath-for one fucking second-I saw red. She had no idea how hard I fought it. How much it took to keep my hands at my sides when every instinct in me screamed to remind her who the fuck I was.
But I didn’t. I couldn’t.
Because if I did, I’d lose her. For good. And that? That would fucking destroy me.
So I let it burn. Let the rage curl under my skin. For her. Because she was the only thing that holds me together, and if I break, I don’t know if I’ll ever put myself back.
Every so often, I ran my fingers through her hair, pressing light, absentminded strokes down the length of her back.
She had cried herself to exhaustion. Shaken, broken, falling apart right in front of me. And yet, in the end, she had let me hold her. She had let herself fall asleep in my arms.
That alone was enough to unmake me.
Her soft breaths tickled my collarbone, and each rise and fall of her chest soothed the raw ache inside me.
My heart almost gave out the moment she said she wanted out. Even though she didn’t have a choice here, I was beginning to enjoy the fact that she was learning to open up to me willingly and that one day, she’d wholeheartedly accept what I feel for her.
I had waited eagerly for her to wake up because my surprise still awaited her.
“I won’t lose you, Mine. I won’t let you leave like she did. Even if I have to break you to keep you with me, I will.” I whispered to her while she slept. I’d die if she ever left me. She didn’t know that.
My world, my life, all revolved around her now.
A soft murmur left her lips, her brows pinching slightly before her lashes fluttered open. For a moment, she just lay there, blinking in confusion as if she had forgotten where she was. Then her gaze lifted, meeting mine.
She swallowed. And then, to my absolute fucking relief-she smiled. A small, lazy thing. Barely there. But real. “I thought I had ruined the surprise you had for me already,” she murmured, her voice hoarse with sleep.
I exhaled slowly, the corner of my lips tugging into something faintly amused. “Not even a hundred of you can ruin this surprise, love.” I pressed a lingering kiss to her forehead, letting my lips rest there for a heartbeat longer than necessary. She still smelled like herself-warm, soft, utterly intoxicating.
When I pulled away, she peered up at me, her brows furrowing slightly.
“So… where is it?”
I met her gaze, letting the ghost of a smirk play on my lips. “You’re laying right on it, baby.” I teased, forcing myself to cheer up because my heart was still too heavy.
With confusion etched across her beautiful face, she lifted her weight off my body.
I sat up, shifting to the edge of the bed. My fingers found the hem of my white shirt, and without a word, I peeled it over my head, exposing my bare back to her.
Silence.
Then a gasp… A sharp, breathless sound, like the air had been stolen from her lungs.
I didn’t speak or turn. I just let her take it all in.
Her trembling fingers found me first. She was hesitant and almost afraid.
Slowly, so slowly, her hands traced down the detailed lines, following the curves of the massive wolf that sprawled across my entire back.
And then-she found herself nestled right in the center of the tattoo, among the swirling darkness of the wolf’s fur.
A choked sound escaped her lips.
I felt the bed shift again, and then-her forehead pressed against my spine. Her body shook as she exhaled, and something wet hit my skin.
Tears.
“Kester…” Her voice broke, and my gut twisted painfully at the sheer emotion in that one syllable.
I started to turn, but before I could, she reached up and cupped my face in her hands, forcing me to meet her gaze.
Her eyes were drenched in tears, wide and disbelieving. Her lower lip trembled as she searched my face like she was trying to find some kind of explanation.
Her thumbs brushed against my cheekbones, “How?” she whispered. “Why would you do this?”
Kasmine had always known that I was never that guy who would walk into a shop to get a tattoo done. The first tattoo I ever got was her name imprinted around my privates. And now, this.
She ought to be surprised. I was fucking breaking my rules because of her, and I’d do even more than break rules for her.
I reached up, curling my fingers around her wrists and holding her there. Not letting her pull away.
“I did it for you,” I said simply. “Because you love tattoos. And because I needed you to know that you’re permanent to me, too.”
Her breath hitched.
She stared at me like she didn’t know what to do with that. Like I had just shattered something inside her.
Then she sucked in a sharp breath and surged forward, pressing her lips to mine. Her lips trembled against mine, and I could taste the salt of her tears.
I broke the kiss slowly, resting my forehead against hers, and breathing her in. My hands found her waist, grounding her and keeping her close to me.
“I need you to hear me, Kasmine,” I murmured, “No matter what happens. No matter what the world says, what it throws at us-I will always choose you.”
A sharp breath shuddered out of her, and I brushed my thumbs along her cheeks, wiping away the wetness streaking her skin.
“You are not temporary to me,” I continued, my voice thick enough to convey everything I felt for her. “You are not some passing moment or something I’ll ever walk away from. You are it for me. And if I have to fight the whole damn world to keep you, to be with you, then I’ll do it without hesitation.”
A soft sob broke from her throat, and her hands fisted in my hair, pulling me closer and holding onto me like I was the only thing keeping her from falling apart.
“I don’t deserve this,” she whispered brokenly. “I don’t deserve you.”
I caught her chin, tilting her face up, forcing her to look at me. My jaw clenched.
“You deserve everything, Kasmine. Everything and more. And I’ll spend every damn day proving that to you if I have to.”