238
Gianna’s POV
I wasn’t sure why I agreed to a girls’ night out in the first place. Maybe it was because my friends refused to take no for an answer, or maybe it was because I needed a distraction from the constant loop of Matteo in my mind. Either way, I found myself sitting in a dimly lit restaurant, sipping on a glass of white wine while my friends chatted animatedly about everything under the sun.
“Okay, Gianna,” Elise said, leaning forward with an expectant grin. “Enough about work. Spill. What’s going on with you? You’ve been quiet all night.”
I swirled the wine in my glass, stalling for time. “Nothing,” I said, forcing a smile. “I’ve just been busy. You know how it is.”
“Uh-huh,” Riley said, raising an eyebrow. “Busy thinking about a certain someone, I bet.”
I glared at her. “I’m not talking about Matteo.”
“Who said anything about Matteo?” Riley teased, smirking. “But since you brought him up…”
“Riley,” I warned, though my voice lacked conviction. The truth was, Matteo had been all I could think about, and I hated that my friends saw right through me.
“Come on, Gianna,” Elise chimed in, her tone softer. “We’re just worried about you. You’ve been off lately, and it’s obvious that this guy is the reason. You need to move on.”
“She’s right,” Riley added. “He’s not worth it if he’s got you feeling like this.”
I sighed, setting my glass down. “It’s not that simple. Matteo…he’s complicated.”
“Complicated is just code for toxic,” Riley said bluntly. “Let me guess. He’s hot, he’s charming, and he’s got more baggage than an airport terminal.”
“That’s not fair,” I said defensively, though part of me knew she wasn’t entirely wrong. “He’s been through a lot.”
“And so have you,” Elise pointed out. “But that doesn’t mean you should put your happiness on hold for someone who can’t get his act together.”
I hated how much their words stung because deep down, I knew they were trying to help. But it was hard to hear the truth when my heart refused to let go of Matteo.
“So, what do you suggest I do?” I asked, crossing my arms. “Forget about him? Just erase him from my mind like he never existed?”
“Pretty much,” Riley said with a shrug. “And the best way to do that is to focus on someone else.”
“Someone else?” I repeated, narrowing my eyes. “You mean dating someone else?”
“Exactly,” Elise said, nodding enthusiastically. “Go on a date. Meet someone new. Have fun. You don’t have to fall in love or anything, but at least it’ll remind you that there are other guys out there.”
I stared at them, incredulous. “You’re kidding, right?”
“Not at all,” Riley said, taking a sip of her cocktail. “Look, Gianna, you’re amazing. You’re smart, gorgeous, successful. Any guy would be lucky to have you. So why are you wasting your time pining over someone who isn’t treating you the way you deserve?”
“It’s not that simple,” I said again, my voice quieter this time. “Matteo isn’t a bad guy. He’s just…”
“Complicated,” Elise finished for me. “We get it. But complicated doesn’t mean good for you. Sometimes the best thing you can do is let go.”
I looked down at my hands, their words sinking in. Maybe they were right. Maybe I needed to stop holding on to something that was clearly falling apart. But the thought of moving on, of letting someone else take Matteo’s place, felt like a betrayal.
“I don’t know if I can do that,” I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper.
“Of course you can,” Riley said firmly. “You’re stronger than you think, Gianna. And trust me, once you get back out there, you’ll realize how much you’ve been missing.”
I wasn’t convinced, but I nodded anyway, not wanting to argue. The truth was, I didn’t know if I was ready to let Matteo go. But maybe, just maybe, it was time to try.
I walked into my condo and shut the door close, Riley and Elise’s advice was still ringing in my ears. I kicked off my heels and sank onto the couch, staring at my phone.
I knew what they were saying made sense. Focusing on someone new, someone uncomplicated, could help me heal. But the idea of going on a date with another man felt…wrong. Matteo wasn’t perfect, but he was the one I loved. Even now, when things were messy and painful, I couldn’t imagine giving my heart to anyone else.
Still, I couldn’t deny that the thought of moving on was tempting. If I kept clinging to the past, to Matteo, I’d never move forward. And wasn’t that what I needed? To move forward?
I opened my contacts, scrolling aimlessly. There were a few names I could call, a few guys who had shown interest in the past. I stared at their names for what felt like hours. Every time I tried to click on one, I hesitated. It felt like I was trying to force something that wasn’t meant to be.
With a frustrated sigh, I set my phone down and leaned back against the couch. Maybe I wasn’t ready to date someone new. Maybe I wasn’t ready to forget about Matteo. But I knew one thing though. I couldn’t keep living like this, stuck in limbo, caught between what I wanted and what I needed.
I needed to move on. And I’ve made my choice already in the first place. I’ve made my choice that I don’t want him anymore and I’ve made that clear to him already. So why was I punishing myself like this?
I took in a deep breath, opening my app store and downloaded the first dating app I set my eyes on. If going out with another man was what was going to help me get over Matteo, then why not?
I set up my profile quickly and within a few minutes, I already had a number of messages. I scrolled through them, wondering which one I’d reply to. I guess that means goodbye to Matteo and I.