Ren’s [POV]
“Yes!”
I hissed the word and writhed as pleasure bombarded me, the wet flick of a tongue between my legs so good that I nearly climaxed. Confused but unwilling to question it, I craned my neck to look down and almost died of pleasure when I met a hot stare from Caleb’s blue-gold eyes. He didn’t stop what he was doing, his magical tongue continuing its flicking drags over my clit, but that look was so hot it nearly made me scream as the pleasure built.
In that stare, I saw dominance, need, and pleasure so potent it was as if he was looking directly into my soul, and giving me everything I needed.
“Please.” I moaned, my hands coming down to twist in his hair and pull him closer, my orgasm so close it almost hurt.
I felt empty, my sex clenching, begging for him to fill me. He must have seen it because before I could plead again, Caleb shot up, reached for me, and flipped me over, his big, blazing-hot body coming over mine. The first thrust of his shaft made me scream. Both pleasure and pain mixed, causing a tremble to set off in my belly, but I had no time to think as he pulled back and thrust again. Over and over. Filling me. Completing me. And then claiming me as I felt the sting of teeth on my shoulder.
Screaming with pleasure, I accepted the bite and threw my head back, my need so strong I came back awake with a wail when the dream ended abruptly and left me panting and unfulfilled. Blinking, it took me a second to understand that I was in my trailer, and when I did, I fell back onto the bed with an aching chest filled with anguish.
What I saw before the fog cleared scared me and had me curling into a ball.
“No,” I whined, trying to deny it even as my wolf chuffed her sadness, and my inner voice remained quiet. “That can’t be right. It was just a dream. That’s what happens when you fall asleep fantasizing, Ren.”
But I knew, even as I tried to lie to myself and convinced my head and heart it wasn’t real, that the sobbing image I saw of myself before I came awake fully was real.
“It isn’t real,” I repeated, praying now because even as I said it, I knew I was just too scared to accept what had happened.
Oh, honey…
“Don’t say it. Just don’t.” I pleaded. “It was just a dream.”
Orit was a flash of premonition. You know it’s true, Renny. You’ve had these moments before. The night Shane was here, you had a moment where you saw what he’d have done to you if you’d gone inside the trailer. You were right then, too.
Yeah, I was, but I didn’t want to be, and…this…
“This is bad, isn’t it?” I asked, unable to convince myself of the lie I needed to believe when my wolf whined this time and felt like she was struggling.
It could be okay. I mean, you had claimed sex with him in the dream. Maybe the crying was just…something else? Do not freak out. You know these things don’t always happen. Hell, they hardly ever happen. Remember the time you had that dream about your mama, and you thought she was going to die, but it turned out she’d fainted because a dad said he didn’t like her hair?
I snorted, recalling the panic of that moment and how weird people thought I was.
“That was funny. Mama nearly had a heart attack when I ran into town wearing my nightclothes.” I chortled, slinging the bed covers back because there was no way I was sleeping now.
Tidying the room quickly, I boiled some water in the microwave and made myself a cup of instant coffee. Grimacing, I wished it wasn’t Saturday. If it hadn’t been, I could’ve gone to work, drank Caleb’s expensive coffee, and kept busy until this weird feeling went away.
It’s all going to be okay.
“You say that now, but this has happened too much already. You don’t think…?” I whispered, flinching when my wolf chuffed again, and the other part of me stayed silent.
Shit. Not answering meant they agreed with what I was thinking, and dammit, that scared me. Shifters were already different. We appeared human but had extra senses and the ability to change into our animals. Most people wouldn’t know this, but for us, our animals weren’t just…us or a part of us. It was like having a different, separate being inside your head that controlled you when you least expected it. Most shifters grew up learning to control the animal side of themselves, and it usually worked well enough that we developed a symbiotic bond with our animal.
But we also had rare cases within our species, and that was starting to scare me because if I was right, I wasn’t just weird. I was different.
“I don’t have it. I can’t be dreaming about the future. It’s a talent very few shifters have. Hell, it’s too rare, and there is no way someone like me would be unlucky enough to have a shifter talent. Mom and dad don’t have any talents.” I muttered.
Yeah, but you know Grammy used to tell you stories about her grandmother. She was what shifter-kind called a Dreamer, and she didn’t just dream things, Ren. She could hear people’s thoughts.
“I can’t hear people’s thoughts. I don’t want to hear that!”
I’m not saying you will, but I am saying that you have an ability that most shifters don’t. Face it, honey, you have it. You could have the Dreaming. Sometimes you dream or see things you shouldn’t.
“You think what I just dreamed…”
Is real? I don’t know, but if it is, I’d say you need to be careful. Seeing Caleb claim you…I adore Caleb, I do, and having hot sex with him outside of the usual fantasies sounds wonderful.
“But?”
But we’re not looking for heartbreak, Renny. A dream about being claimed by that male could lead to something terrible.
You say that as if being claimed by a guy like Caleb is a bad thing. He’s a good man.
I’m fine with being friends but claiming means mating, Ren. Can you honestly tell me that you see Caleb Chase being happy with getting mated? The man acts like he’s going to have a stroke if you so much as smile at him too often. Face it, honey, getting involved with Caleb Chase may not be a good idea shut up wolf! We all know what you want, and dammit, it isn’t going to happen. Caleb doesn’t do mating, so just calm down.
So what are you saying, because if I remember correctly, you want to be with him?
I’m saying…wanting and doing are two different things, Ren. It’s possible that giving in to the wanting may not be smart.
I snorted again as my wolf piped up and started arguing with my inner voice, and I sipped my coffee while listening to my wolf snarl while the other one lectured her to death. I was so amused by it that I managed to go a full five minutes without thinking about Caleb. Which was great because it allowed me to think about everything I’d learned since we’d become friends.
The man wasn’t exactly chatty, but we’d formed an easy truce of sorts. We talked. Okay, I did most of the talking, but he had given me glimpses of who he was. Caleb was an ex-Enforcer and had two animals, which was super rare and made him stronger than even the Alpha. He was also broken, emotionally and mentally, and had convinced himself that keeping his wolf weak was his only option and, most importantly, he wouldn’t ever get mated again.
He’d made that clear and even gone so far as to warn me that if Walker had planted me in his home hoping for something like that, it was never going to happen.
“Well, that is that, then.” I sighed, finishing off my coffee.
Is it though?
“Yeah, it is. Look, I get it. I’m attracted to him. Who wouldn’t be? The man is sexy, decent, and so incredibly male it makes my insides melt. I like him. Besides being talented, he’s also really nice under all that gruffness.”
And that’s bad, how?
“It isn’t. You didn’t let me finish. He’s also been hurt badly, and while I understand that, I can in no way compare what I went through to what Caleb did.”
Babe, you lost so much more than you’re willing to admit to yourself.
“I don’t want to talk about that. This isn’t about me; it’s about Caleb. He isn’t wrong to be cautious of mating again, and I can’t blame him. I was heartbroken when I realized what Shane was, but Caleb lost a part of himself. I don’t think he’ll ever be open to more and the truth is, I can’t blame him. I also can’t live with that. I want sex, and I like him, yes, but I’m no doormat. The next time I allow myself to fall for a man, he has to want me the same way I want him, and he has to love me. I don’t think Caleb would ever let himself love anyone again, and he definitely won’t love me.” I told myself, hating that the thought made me want to cry.
God, that sucks. I was so looking forward to hot sex.
“You and me both, sister. You’re not the only one who endures heat every month and misses orgasms.” I snorted, snickering when my wolf whined again, letting me know she was not happy either.
None of us were, but at least I knew a few things now.
I thought I might have this ability my Grammy once told me about, at least the stirrings of it, and you know what? I was not okay with that. I had enough to deal with already, and I didn’t want to dream about things that may or may not come true.
Erm, I don’t think you have a choice about this, Renny. It’s not like you can just turn it off.
“Watch me.”