Ren’s [POV]
“…bullshit. I mean, I’ve been so nice.” I grumbled, jamming yet another thing through the tiny crack in the closet door before I put my shoulder into it and forced it to shut.
At this rate, the door was going to buckle, but I wasn’t allowing myself to think about that because I was too pissed off and doing my best to keep hold of my friendly, open, cheerful attitude while getting as much done as possible.
It wasn’t easy though. Caleb Chase had been nothing but rude, impossible, and plain scary since I’d arrived this morning. He’d gone out of his way to make everything impossible for me and done everything in his power to hinder me. If not for the fact that he’d finally lost it an hour ago and stormed out of there, I was pretty sure I would’ve eventually exploded.
“Happy thoughts, Ren. Just stay happy even if you have to fake it till you make it.” I reminded myself as I skipped down to the kitchen.
The house was clean, at least surface clean, and it was time to start dinner prep, so that’s what I was focusing on instead of obsessing over nitpicking because I was in a mood.
“Rome wasn’t built in a day. Although, there is one theory that the Romans were aliens, so technically, that could be wrong. I can see aliens setting up an entire colony of globe-dominating assholes in twenty-four hours.” I mumbled, a smile curling my lips when my wolf and inner voice snorted, scoffing at my lunacy.
It could’ve been true though.
Sure. About as true as the possibility that Caleb Chase will ever be your friend. Face it, he hates you, and it’s your fault. You need to shut up once in a while.
“If I did that, he would have fired me. Trust me, keeping him off balance and too confused to talk is a good thing. The more I can get done, the more probable it is that he’ll keep me on. I just need to prove how indispensable I am.” I reminded my wolf and the crazy person in my head. “He’ll like me soon. I just know he will. I grow on people.”
“Like a fungus.” My inner bitch answered, snickering when it came out audibly, and I groaned.
“Stop making me answer myself out loud. It’s weird!”
“Hello, I am you. Think about that for a hot minute.”
“Oh, God.” I huffed, purposely ignoring how true that was as I grabbed the ingredients for chicken-fried steaks, mashed potatoes, butter-fried zucchini, and biscuits with gravy.
Deciding not to argue with myself for the rest of the day, I focused on how to get Caleb Chase to like me. I mean, wasn’t I great and sweet and funny? He should’ve liked me.
“Babe, you’re annoying. You never shut up. You look like the Joker with that fixed smile on your face, and the uncontrollable, unexplained giggling is weird.”
“That isn’t fair. I giggle when I’m nervous, and hello, he spent all morning following me around and watching me silently while trying to sabotage me. You’d be nervous, too!” I yelled, scowling as I breaded the steaks and put them in the fridge for later.
Concentrating on prep, I tried not to think about why Caleb didn’t like me, and once again, I heard a snicker, followed by an amused growl. Oh great, my wolf was joining in too. This should be fun.
“You need to chill. You’re acting nuts, and while I know he’s nuts already, you don’t need to add to the mix. Just stare back. Please stare back. The man is hot.” My inner voice muttered while my wolf purred in agreement.
“No way. I can’t do that. He’s my boss.”
“I bet he’s bossy in the bedroom. Hmm-hmmm. Lord have mercy, mama likes that.”
“Would you stop it!”
“What? You have to admit it’s true. That is one fine specimen of male shifter ass. Did you see his ass and that front bulge? I bet he’s packing a salami.”
“Oh, my God. Stop! I don’t want to talk about Caleb Chase’s penis.” I hissed, chopping the potatoes with a hard thwack while I flushed with mortified disgruntlement.
“Dude, it’s a dick or a cock. Penis sounds gross.”
“Whatever. I’m done talking to you about this. I’m only open to exploring my feelings right now and discussing what I can do to fix things. I’m hurt.” I mumbled, huffing my annoyance when my wolf and inner voice both giggled.
“Seriously? What’s new? You need to explore getting pissed about things instead of getting sad. It’s annoying, and frankly, I’m over this whole ‘oh, I’m so sensitive’ crap. Grow a pair and fight back.”
“I’d lose my job!” I hissed, narrowly missing my finger with the knife before I calmed down, finished the last few preparations, and put it all in the fridge for later.
Drying my hands, I went down to the basement, where I had a load of laundry in the dryer, a load in the washer, and a whole boatload of folding to do. Taking my time, I folded the t-shirts, boxer briefs, and shorts and separated what I needed to iron. The tasks were monotonous but relaxing, and for the first time since I got to work, I was relaxed enough not to feel like I was about to snap.
“You know”
“Please don’t. Just don’t.” I warned, losing the easy feeling as tension returned twofold.
I wasn’t okay with discussing anything right now and ignored my inner voices as I finished up and got dinner started. By the time it was done, and everything was in the warmer, five o’clock had rolled around, and according to Caleb’s list of rules that he’d left on the fridge, I had to be out at five. Hustling, I got out of the house and ignored the longing I felt for what I’d just cooked. Telling myself I wasn’t all that hungry, which was a fat lie, I got home, locked up the seven locks, and stripped to get in the shower.
Then and only then did I let it all go and released my tension with a sob that turned into a dramatic wail.
Oh, get a grip!
But I couldn’t, and no matter how disgusted I was with myself, I kept crying and thought about my life. I was all alone, had no friends, and the only thing that was saving me was being at the mercy of a man who hated me.
“Why!” I screamed, knowing I was being a complete ass but unable to help myself.
I was likable and sweet, and kind. It shouldn’t have been this hard to make friends and have people care about me. Even Walker, who I adored, wasn’t my friend, not really.
Calm down. Just chill. It’ll get better. You grow on people.
“Like a fungus.” I huffed, my sobs trailing off to little sniffles as I considered everything.
Maybe I should just go back to Baneblood. I mean, I didn’t want to, but at this point…
That’s if they’ll let you.
“You’re so mean. You could at least lie.” I muttered, hating that my inner voice and my wolf were about as friendly to me as other people.
You guys could be nicer, I grumbled, rushing through my shower and stepping out to dry off and dress.
Babe, since when does that help? Face it; I need honesty. Real friends are honest, and right now, I’m pathetic. Stop crying, put a smile on your dial, and chill. It’ll come together. Worst case scenario, I run in the dead of night, change my name to Ramona and go live on a beach in Mexico. I love margaritas and salsa.
“Oh, shut up!” I mumbled, throwing on old sweats and a nearly transparent tank top before stomping to the kitchen, where I wolfed down a peanut butter sandwich.
By the time I was done, I felt a little better and, as usual, found a silver lining. Today was a trial, but persistence and a happy smile would help me through. Caleb just needed time to get to know me, and when he did, he’d love me. We’d be friends. Great friends.
Friends with bennies?
“Oh God? He can’t stand me, practically told me to my face he doesn’t want me there, and you’re thinking about sex?” I hissed, yanking the comforter away so I could slide into bed.
Babe, I’m your libido. Of course, I’m thinking about sex. Did you see that ass!
I saw it!
“Oh, God. Leave me alone.” I snarled, ignoring the purring innuendos as I shut my eyes and tried to sleep.
I was so tired I should have passed out, but instead, all I could think about was Caleb Chase and those soul-stirring blue eyes of his. There was something in them that called to me, something deep and…unsettling.
And I had a feeling I didn’t want to find out what that was.