Caleb’s [POV]
“Call her and tell her no.” I snarled into the phone, my patience at its lowest ebb since I’d come back from the feral state, and wrestled my mind back into submission.
I was close to losing it now, and it had nothing to do with the jabbering little magpie and everything to do with how I felt when she took my hand. Up till that point, I was somewhat amused by just how intent she was on getting the job. I had no intention of letting her sneak tactic work. I was just humoring her full-on chatter attack as I followed her silently.
She was determined though, and I still wanted to chuckle when I thought about the look on her face when she saw my house. Horror would be an understatement. Hell, her eyes bugged. I had to admit, finding her in my studio pissed me off enough, I wanted to yell at her until she ran, but after that, after seeing her steel herself, paste on that fake smile, and bulldoze her way through me, I was more amused than I think I’ve felt in…years.
“No. Your house needs to be cleaned, Ren needs a job, and as far as I’m concerned, the problems solve one another. She’s there to work, nothing more, nothing less, and if you don’t like that, well, that’s not my problem. And no, since I’m the one paying her, you can’t fire her.” Walker growled, his Alpha voice sending chills down my spine when my alpha animal growled.
“I don’t want her here.” I snapped, pacing my filthy living room until I almost tripped on something lying on the floor.
Cursing, I leaned down to scoop it up and flushed when I realized it was my underwear. Dirty underwear that is adorable little.
No. Stop that. She isn’t adorable, and she isn’t anything, I barked silently, an unpleasant chill racing through me when I heard my bear growl and felt my left eye heat up.
I didn’t need to look into a mirror to see my left eye was now a golden brown while the right remained gray. It happened whenever my animals wanted to come forth, and no matter what, I had to make sure that didn’t happen. Not ever again.
“Caleb, listen, man, I know this is hard, but do me a favor and, for once, think of someone other than yourself. Ren, she needs this.” He said softly, using a tone I hadn’t heard in so long, I tensed.
We used to be friends, best friends once before everything went so wrong. I still didn’t understand half of it. What I did know is part of me still saw him as my friend, and no matter how much I didn’t want to, I also saw him as my Alpha, my leader.
“I don’t give a shit, Walker. I warned you when you called and came up with this that I won’t do it. I don’t want a woman in my house, and I sure as shit don’t want that one around.”
Not after she took my hand and jolted my nearly dormant wolf back to whimpering life. It was weak still, the presence barely there, but I felt it stir when she touched me and heard the warning growl of my bear. Ren Sheppard awoke a part of me. I needed to stay dead, and she did it with one touch. There was no way in hell I was having her here, near me, and that was just that.
“Well, you need one. No offense, man, but I’ve been to your place, and I’ve smelled the smells. The place is a pigsty, it smells bad, and just because your bear’s senses aren’t as strong as our wolf’s, doesn’t mean it’s okay for you to live like that. I know it’s overwhelming, and you’re not where you need to be to tackle it all head-on, but it needs doing. Ren will do it, and in return, she gets a job. One she needs.”
“I’ll pay her not to come here,” I growled, desperation turning my voice into a rough growl of fury.
“Wouldn’t matter how much money you gave her. The job isn’t about money. It’s about keeping Ren in the pack and making sure she’s safe. I have nothing else for her here, and I can’t have her in town. The pack won’t stand for it. That leaves you, Caleb.” he sighed.
“I can’t do it. The answer is no.” I panted, tossing the dirty underwear with a silent curse before I turned and stalked into the kitchen, where I opened the fridge in search of beer.
Finding nothing, I cursed again and remembered that I’d forgotten to order more groceries this afternoon after Ren left. That woman scrambled me, the chaos she left in her wake still so intense. I only looked up from my latest painting well after sunset and realized it hadn’t helped me. Usually, painting helped, calming me enough to tamp down all emotion, but today, it meant nothing, and the one thing I’d come to rely on most failed me.
Because she touched me.
“I’m sorry, but I can’t accept that. I know this isn’t easy, and I get it, Caleb, I do, but I’m still your Alpha, and dammit, I’m Ren’s, too, no matter what this fucking pack thinks. I will take care of that girl and make sure she’s safe, no matter what!” he roared, his temper snapping, so suddenly I reared back, my hand halfway into a cabinet in search of something to drink.
Pausing, I allowed my fingers to close around a bottle of scotch, but I didn’t drink yet. Not until I heard what he said next. Tyler Walker was never rash, never emotional, and hardly ever lost his temper. For an Alpha, that road was dangerous, and we all always strove for cool in the face of chaos. Without calm, no Alpha would be fit to rule, and so hearing Walker lose his temper with me made me wonder just what was going on.
“I know this isn’t fair, but you have to understand, Caleb. Ren, she’s so helpless, and right now, I can’t allow anything to happen to her. The moment she steps foot off pack land, she’s dead. Do you hear me?” he asked softly, his tone ravaged by something that made even my cold heart clench with pain.
“Walker, man…”
“She moved here to marry that Shane Sheppard. Never liked that boy, always thought he was an asshole, but it wasn’t my place to say. I let her marry him, Caleb, even knowing what he was, and after…”
“I thought he died. Why is she in danger if he’s dead?” I muttered, finally upending the bottle and taking a long, much-needed drink.
The alcohol burned going down, and I relished it, the sensation easing the tight grip of panic that spurred my anger and caused the emotional turmoil to fuel my wolf. Drinking a little more, I tried not to care about Walker, his words, or what he needed, but it wasn’t easy.
This man tracked me down in my darkest hour and did what no one else would. I owed him my life, my sanity.
“He did. Damn fool got drunk and got it in his head to go after Ren again, even though I’d had the Enforcers talk to him. Cole was pissed and warned the little fucker to stay away, or the next time that poor woman called and reported stalking, we’d haul his ass into lockup and keep it there indefinitely. I don’t know everything, but Cole found Ren that night, screaming, bleeding, and hysterical in the middle of a storm. Sheppard had gone after her in her trailer, broke in, and thought he could…I was dunno. Shit man. I still shudder, thinking about her out in that storm, never mind running from a three-hundred-pound enraged shifter male. Cole tracked their trail after she told him what’d happened.”
“Wait. Run that by me again. Are you telling me her ex hunted her?” I snarled, fury seething just below the surface before I squashed it with everything in me.
“He did. He was there, at her place, waiting for her. From what I remember of Ren…she was a sweet little thing. I’d see her in town sometimes, scuttling around, always busy. Folks didn’t like her much, with that mother-in-law of hers always having something to say, but I liked her. She worked two jobs, baked for the school when she could, and she’s kind. That night, I felt something off. Can’t explain it, I just knew. So I sent Cole out to check, just in case. I wish to God I’d gone myself instead of sending Cole.” He sighed.
“He’s the best tracker you have,” I grunted, a smile of pride trying to break free because I taught the little shit everything he knew.
“He is. Do you know what he found? A trail leading directly to the edge of the cliff.”
“I thought it was raining,” I mumbled, the bottle pausing mid-air when Walker sighed.
A laugh popped out of me now, real amusement filling me, and not for the first time, I understood why Walker was my best friend at one time. The man was sneaky as hell and used any means possible to get what he wanted. And it seemed he wanted Ren Sheppard to live.
Why though? Not to sound callous, but she’s one female among many, and she wasn’t even Walker’s pack.
“I’m not answering that.”
“Then tell me this. What pack is she from?” I asked, frowning when I realized why I wanted to know. Fuck.
“The Banebloods. Don’t growl yet, dammit. Ren isn’t like them. She’s sweet and innocent as hell, Caleb.” He sighed, sounding so tired I frowned.
“You okay?”
Not that I cared. I wouldn’t care. I refused to care. Dammit.
“I’m tired. Been juggling business, your fucking vigilante brother, and the Sheppard clan. Those assholes want her. I’m short-staffed as hell, using men to keep an eye on her to make sure those bastards don’t go after her. Ren thinks just staying in the pack will keep her safe”
“And you don’t?” I asked, my bear growling so aggressively I snapped my eyes shut and breathed, begging him to calm down and not wake my other side more than it already had been.
I didn’t like this though, and it’s not that I cared about Ren Sheppard. I didn’t know her, I didn’t want to, and as far as I was concerned, her problems weren’t mine. I just didn’t like the thought of that asshole’s family hurting someone as defenseless as she was. She may think she could take care of herself, but I had news for the little shifter. She was helpless against men like that.
“I did. I told Nolan and his boys to stay the hell away from Ren and warned them what would happen if she got hurt, but I don’t know how long it’s gonna work. They’re pissed off. Think she’s to blame for Shane’s death. My orders were clear.”
“Seems like that should do it, being as you’re Alpha and disobeying your word is a death sentence,” I grunted, stalking towards the stairs as I lifted the bottle.
I nearly growled when I got a whiff of myself when my armpit met fresh air, and Goddammit, it embarrassed the hell out of me that this was my normal state. I wore whatever I found that was the cleanest, and no matter how many showers I took, I just didn’t smell good. Why did I suddenly care? I refused to consider the answer, but dammit, even I found my stink offensive.
“You’d think so, but I have a bad feeling, Caleb. A really bad feeling.”
“Then send Cole or Trey her way and let them…I don’t know, take shifts watching her.” I suggested, stomping into my bedroom.
A check of the closet showed me my hopes of something clean to wear weren’t to be fulfilled, but I did happen to find clean briefs and a pair of sweatpants under the dusty bed. A sniff check proved they were clean if a little dusty, but they’d do.
The bathroom. Jesus, I flinched when I entered it, seeing it through new eyes for the first time in months. It was dirty. It didn’t reek of crap or piss, thank God, because even I couldn’t handle that, but everything needed cleaning and just thinking about doing it made my brain revolted.
“Cole’s already overworked while we train new Enforcers. We took a few hits with ratings recently. Some of our guys left for their mate’s pack, and others, well, we’re just short, okay? As it is, I have them stretched thin. Which is why this is perfect. I can make sure Ren’s safe during the day, you get a clean house and don’t die of some bacterial-born pathogen that’s growing in your dirty socks, Cole gets some sleep, and everyone’s happy. Come on, Caleb. Ren’s a good person, and she’s cool once you get to know her.”
“I don’t want to. Dammit!” I snarled, starting the shower before I drained the bottle, and cursed because I didn’t even have a buzz.
Fucking bear. The bastard may be mellow as hell and good to have around to keep my wolf docile, but the fucker could drink like a sailor without getting even slightly buzzed.
“Then she’s dead. Without that job, she has no reason to stay in the pack. You know how it goes.” Walker said sadly, pissing me off because he knew.
Knew I wouldn’t be able to handle the little female getting hurt. Not when I could help.
“Fuck you, Walker.” I snarled, my temper rising when he laughed his ass off and snorted.
“Friends are good to have. Hell, maybe great to have when they’re as hot as Ren. Don’t forget Shelly’s coming back this month. With him.” Walker muttered, making my hackles rise even more.
I hated talking about my ex-mate. Hell, I didn’t even want to think about her, and I sure as hell didn’t want that woman anywhere near me, flaunting her mate in my face.
“Don’t care. As long as she stays off my land, I don’t give a damn what, where, or why.” I said, honestly meaning it.
I didn’t love Shelly anymore, and the bond was so broken it was non-existent, but that didn’t mean I wanted it rubbed in my face. What she did nearly ended me, and I didn’t want the reminder of just how far I had gone for her. I was obsessed to the point of madness, my wolf so crazy in love and deeply bonded, I couldn’t think straight without her. I never wanted that again, not ever, and that’s why I couldn’t do this with Ren Sheppard.
That touch this afternoon. That damned touch was too…familiar.
“Okay, so we’re agreed. Ren”
“Can’t be here with me, Walker. I’m sorry, but she just can’t.” I croaked, tamping down a whine that echoed in my head.
Hearing it, as weak as it was, scared me shitless, and I’d do anything to avoid it. Anything.
“Caleb. Come on. Don’t do this. She’ll die! Think man. Do you want that on your conscience? Huh? Knowing you could have helped a defenseless, innocent woman whose only crime was to run and save herself? Her ex nearly killed her, and the pack hates her. The Sheppard family is after her”
“I can’t do this. Goddammit, I felt the touch!” I roared, closing my eyes as I acknowledged the truth of it.
There was silence now; the only thing I heard was my ragged breathing and Walker’s gasp of breath, letting me know he was still there and listening. A throat cleared, I heard him swallow, and then he said something I wasn’t sure I was sane enough to deal with tonight.
“You think…you have a fated?” he rasped, sounding so hopeful I cursed.
“I had a fate, remember? Shelly”
“Shelly fated to Graham. After you. I know it happened with you, and you bonded, and I even know that only happens when it’s fated, but think, man. She was insistent when Graham hit the town that she was drawn to, but couldn’t help it. Maybe she was telling the truth, dammit. Maybe…fuck, I don’t know. Maybe what you two had was….”
“I don’t know, and I don’t care either. That’s done, Walker. It’s done. I am done. Do you hear me? I don’t know what happened with Ren Sheppard today or what it means, and I don’t care. I don’t want it.” I growled, ending the call with a snarl before he could argue.
I also didn’t know how I was going to handle tomorrow because, sure as hell, that woman would show up here since I knew Walker wouldn’t fire her. And when she did…
Her life was in my hands.