EMMA
Oh wow.
It’s been such a long time since I’ve been home.
Not just in my New York apartment, home home.
I inhale deeply, breathing Ireland in, instantly smelling my father’s Sunday roast cooking in the kitchen.
My stomach growls, but I’m not headed into the family room just yet.
I haven’t been here for so long… I just want to explore.
I walk up the stairs, running my fingers over the family photos as I do. I’ve passed these pictures a million times and never really taken much notice of them, but now everything is different. Now all I want to do is study them, to remember everything.
Cillian.
My oldest brother, the sternest guy I have ever met. He really takes after my father in every single way. But I have always felt safe around him.
Loch.
We were never close. He was one of my biggest tormentors, but also my biggest defender whenever I had any trouble in school. I looked up to him, whether I wanted to or not.
Keegan.
I smile when I think about Keegan; Patrick’s younger twin by a minute. About when he became the target of our other brothers, and it was up to me to defend him for a change. Nowadays though, I have heard terrible stories about what he does in the mob.
I can’t even begin to imagine.
I don’t want to. I would much prefer to think of him all sweet, like this.
Fionn.
I sigh heavily. Fionn has such a great brain, he could have gotten out of the family business and done something else with his life as well.
But he didn’t.
He wanted to stay and fit in.
I see a photo of my mother and father, looking more in love than any other couple I have ever seen. Before Mom passed away, that is. This, next to a family photo reminds me of everything good. Everything that we used to stand for when we were young, and I thought our family life was normal.
We have had some incredible times.
There has been a lot of love.
If crime wasn’t a part of our life, I wonder what life could have been like…
With a smile playing on my lips, I head down to the kitchen, eager to see everyone now. I know I’ve been avoiding everyone, but things have changed now. I need to see their faces.
“Dad, I’m back,” I cry out as I head into the kitchen. “Are you good…”
A scream ricochets through the room, so loud I have to press my hands to my ears to stop the sound from giving me a head ache.
It’s blood curdling, sickening, and I can understand why.
Blood.
So much blood.
My family kitchen is bright red and the further I tiptoe into the kitchen, the more I can see the source of the blood.
Dad.
Cillian.
Loch.
Keegan.
Fionn.
They are dead, all of them.
Their life of crime has come back to haunt them and they have been executed.
“Mine,” a sinister voice whispers, dragging my eyes off the mess on the floor. “You’re all mine now, Emma. No one can take you away from me.” Owen.
Covered in blood splatter.
With that God damn gun in his hand and an evil looking glint in his eyes.
It’s at that moment I realize the scream is coming from me…
Sweat covers me as I bolt upright into a sitting position. I feel like I’ve been swimming in sweat because it’s covering me that much.
Shit.
The image of Owen covered in my family’s blood with that sinister grin remains firmly in the back of my mind, sickening me.
I grab under the pillow to check for the gun.
I still have it.
He can’t do anything to me if I still have it.
But that doesn’t mean I’ll be able to keep it forever.
I need to act soon.
Sooner rather than later.
That dream… it was a message. A warning. If I don’t act quickly, then who knows what will happen to me.
Much as it’s going to be hard to go to him now, I need to get to my father, quick.
I don’t want anything to happen to my family, and I really don’t want anything to happen to me, either.
This cabin isn’t where I want my life to end.
My head flops down on the pillow as I try to catch my breath. That was intense. I don’t need another warning like that… I know what I need to do now. I just need to gather up the courage to do it.
“Fuck, what is that?”
A bleeping sound makes my already racing heart pump with more adrenaline. What is it? My fear levels have me worrying that it’s a bomb or something. About to go off at any given moment. About to explode and crush me here and now.
“Aww, sorry.” The bedroom door swings open and Owen lets himself in. I move my head rapidly, making sure I’m on the pillow with the gun underneath. If he finds that, I’ll die. “The ankle monitor needs charging.
That’s what that noise is.”
I can’t even bring myself to speak as he unbuckles the monitor.
I’m holding onto all the air I can, in case this is the last bit of oxygen I get.
But Owen doesn’t seem to sense my inner turmoil at all.
“Hey, do you want to go for a swim? There’s a pond near here and I think the water should be warm enough this morning for us to have a splash. If you want.”
When he shoots me an inquisitive look, I know I’ve been silent for way too long.
“Erm, yeah.”
I don’t think I’m going to be able to hide the tension, but it’s so hard for me to see Owen right now, without thinking of that smile.
I don’t really think he wants to claim me as his own like that, but I’m still so fucking scared I don’t know how I’ll make it through the rest of the day with him.
“Come on then. Get dressed.” He grins. “Let’s go, it’ll be fun.” Fun.
Huh, I’m not too sure about that, but I guess I’ll give it a try.
THE WATER IS SURPRISINGLY WARM.
The swim is nicer than I thought it would be, but there’s still a lot of tension floating between us. It’s weird. I don’t like it one bit.
“You know, I have only ever been swimming here with one other person,” Owen tells me, shocking me actually. “My wife, Justine.” Oh my God.
He’s bringing up Justine?
This is hard because I know way too much about his relationship with Justine, and I know I shouldn’t.
“We married young, but had a really great time together. Although I missed out on a lot of time I should have spent with her because of the military.”
I swallow hard.
I don’t know what to say.
“While I was deployed, she was in a car accident, and she passed away, which broke me. I didn’t think I would ever get close to anyone ever again, which is kinda how I ended up in this life.”
“What… what is this life?” I ask, because I still don’t really know what’s going on with him.
“Well, I’m a lone wolf. A hired hand, you know? That kind of thing. Not affiliated to anyone.”
“Isn’t that dangerous?”
My father’s life is dangerous, but he has a lot of protection. He has all his men around him all the time, so I know he’s safe.
Safer than most.
“Yeah, I guess so.” He offers me a one shouldered shrug. “But the pay is good, you know? And since I don’t have anyone waiting at home for me, what does it matter?” He matters.
Can I tell him that he matters to me?
I would love to, but I don’t think the timing is right.
“Tell me about Rickie,” he asks as he swims a little closer to me. “And your family. I want to understand the dynamics there. It’ll help me protect you more.”
I sigh heavily. I don’t want to ruin this moment by saying anything about my issues right now, but I do want to be safe.
“My dad needs me to marry Rickie to strengthen bonds and to ensure he remains at the top. Where he likes to be best. He says I don’t do much for the family because I don’t want to dive head first into a life of crime. That isn’t for me at all.”
“Oh, God.”
Owen looks shocked by this, as if it isn’t the life of everyone born into the mob.
“Yeah, getting married is basically the only thing he thinks I can do. Which is why I hate to let him down, but Rickie really is a bad guy. One of the worst. He’s an alcoholic, a womanizer, abusive, someone who would treat me like shit if I married him. I keep trying to tell my dad that, but he doesn’t seem to want to hear it. He’s focused only on what this will do for him.”
I meet his eyes, wondering if this is the moment I can find out the truth.
“So, is that why I’m here? Are you the hired hand of my dad or Rickie
Flynn Junior?”
He doesn’t answer me.
I don’t know why I’m surprised.
He dives under the water instead, appearing a little closer to me, splashing me, playfully.
The surprise makes me laugh, and Owen joins in.
I do love the sound of his laughter, it’s always made me feel special and sweet.
“I like hearing you laugh, Owen.” Oh.
I wasn’t really planning on saying that, but the words came out of me regardless.
Owen’s expression softens.
We stare at one another, our eyes betraying everything that it seems we’re both too afraid to say aloud.
Feelings are definitely growing between us… there’s something there, we’re falling for one another.
But there are huge obstacles to that.
There’s no way of knowing how this is going to end.
“I like your tattoo,” I say just to shatter the tension a little. “This little jagged one.”
“Oh my best friend did that on base,” he tells me as I run my fingers along it. “A dare. He got the same one. I know it doesn’t look like it, but it’s supposed to be the Afghan skyline that we were looking at every single day when we were at that particular camp. That was during my first tour, and I have a lot of surprisingly good memories from that time.”
My fingers run along to his scars. “Did your friend get scars like this fighting in the military as well?”
He nods just the once, just a little short, sharp bob of the head, before he wraps his arms around me and we share an unexpected, earth shattering intimate kiss. One that really does steal the air from my lungs, and causes me to forget about all the questions I was thinking of asking.
Of course I want to know more about Owen. I would love to know everything, but I also don’t want to stop kissing him.
I wish he would just kiss me all the freaking time.
As he pulls back, I find my lips already missing him. I don’t like being alone without his mouth on mine.
“Should we get back inside?” he asks with his head cocked to one side. “We don’t want to get too cold, do we?”
I don’t really want to leave, but I nod anyway. I’m ready to follow this man anywhere and everywhere.
Which is going to make it really difficult when I need to make my move out of here.
I still have to escape, obviously, because I don’t want to die, but it definitely isn’t going to be easy leaving this man.