OWEN
Urgh, fucking hell.
I think I might have gone overboard at the grocery store. I don’t know if two people need quite so much stuff.
But I have it now, and I just need to haul it inside.
“Emma, you there…”
Before I can even finish my sentence, Emma rushes over to me, her cheeks all red like she’s flushed from exercise or something.
I want to question her, but her mouth is on mine.
What the fuck?
The bags I’ve been gripping onto so hard slip through my fingers and crash to the floor as I automatically wrap my arms around her, kissing her right back.
I don’t know what is happening here, but I fucking love it.
Her tongue invades my mouth, massaging mine.
I can feel an intense need from her. A desire so strong it makes my heart pound.
“You’re back,” she gasps breathlessly as she pulls away from me. “You were gone for ages.”
“I was?” I cock my head curiously to one side. “I didn’t realize.”
“Well, I… I missed you or whatever.”
She shrugs and grabs a couple of the bags off the floor, taking them to the kitchen.
I guess we’re not kissing anymore then…
I pick up what’s left and follow her, too entranced to be confused. The curve of her ass is just too much, and watching her rise to her tiptoes to put things away makes my mouth water.
Now I’m the one devoured with need.
“I’m going to put the radio on,” Emma declares, barely meeting my eyes. She’s still really flushed. What is going on with her? What did I walk in on her doing?
Holy shit, what if she was touching herself?
Why the fuck did she stop?
I wish I’d walked in on her finger fucking herself and she’d let me watch.
Or better, join in.
My cock hardens. I can’t take my eyes off her, especially as she starts dancing to the music.
Does Emma know how smoking hot she is?
“You bought plenty of stuff, Owen. I guess you won’t be leaving me again for a while.” She sashays over to me playfully, winking as she does.
“I like that.”
I take her in my arms once more, and kiss her again. I don’t even care what’s going on with Emma-it doesn’t matter-she’s being fun and I’m obsessed with this.
“Actually, do you know what? I’m going to cook dinner for you,” Emma decides, pulling away from me again. Urgh, I wish she’d just stay in my arms. “I’m going to make your favorite meal. What do you like? Best of all, I mean.”
“Ribollita,” I reply, testing her, but it’s a needless test.
She nods. “Sure thing. Here, let me pour you a drink so you can just enjoy yourself while I cook. Whiskey, all right? This one is your favorite, right?”
Well, I’m sure as shit not going to complain about that.
I could use a break.
She hands me a glass of whiskey with a smile on her face, but there’s something a little off in her eyes.
We’ve spent enough intense time together now for me to know when there is something off with her.
I should ask, but I figure she’ll tell me if I need to know.
Maybe she’s just sick of being here and trying to make the best of it.
Emma cooks in silence which gives me a chance to just watch her.
Man, do I enjoy watching her!
I can’t seem to stop my mind from wandering as she works, for my imagination to start getting the better of me.
What if this were real?
That’s where my head keeps going, even if I don’t want it to.
I envision myself in a home with Emma, a real home, with her cooking for me like this. Like she’s my girlfriend, or maybe even my wife.
God, I know I shouldn’t think about this.
But I can’t help myself.
She would be a good wife. For anyone.
Not for Rickie of course… I don’t want her anywhere near a guy like that.
But for someone who deserves her, sure.
Not that I can imagine anyone with Emma but me.
Shit, I actually hate the idea of Emma with anyone but me.
If my life were anything different, then this could be real.
It’s been a long time since I thought my life could be like this. Since Justine. I always kinda just assumed that I would be the same guy I have been for the rest of my life-a hired hand, the guy who does whatever he needs for money.
But that’s a dangerous life.
Not the sort of life for a husband.
I know the mob guys all have wives and families, but they have loyalty and protection surrounding them. They have bonds and people who will protect them for life, especially when they are high up in the ranks.
But not me. I have no one.
I’m the lone wolf.
A lone wolf with a target on his back can’t have a wife.
Especially not a young, beautiful woman like Emma.
She deserves so much more.
I avert my eyes because I have to. If I don’t, I’m going to get lost in the worries… I’ll drown in these thoughts that can’t ever amount to anything anyway.
I need to stop before we both end up in trouble.
“So, Owen,” Emma starts, breaking the silence with a side-eyed glance. “Tell me more about your life outside of this. Do you have, you know, some kind of girlfriend or wife waiting at home for you?”
I toss my head back and bellow with laughter. “You really think I would be fucking around with you if I did?”
“Fucking around with me?” she whispers back.
I don’t think she liked that phrasing.
Truth be told, it doesn’t feel right.
Unfortunately it’s out there now. I’ve already said it… I can’t take it back.
Shit, I hope she forgives me.
“So, in your past life, with your previous relationships or whatever, what was the sex like?”
There’s a cheeky glint in her eyes.
She wants to know if I’ve always been this kinky.
Do I really want to get into it with her?
“Not always wild,” I declare in the end, giving her something of an answer.
I’ve been kinky in the past, but I’ve always had to hold myself back.
Until now.
Until her.
“I see.” A smile spreads across her face. “Is that because I’m the youngest woman you’ve ever been with?” I say nothing.
I’m stunned to the core.
I don’t know what to say.
“I did think that our age difference would be an issue, but I guess it’s not, right? I mean, for me, it isn’t. But then I don’t usually fuck around.” Ah, so she was hurt by that.
“No, I didn’t take you for someone who fucks around, Emma.” She shoots me a pointed look.
“And you?” she asks, no longer looking at me. “Do you fuck around a lot? Just… you know, think I should know.” Ooh she’s good.
“You sure you’re in the right line of business, Emma? Because if you weren’t a nurse, I think you could be an interrogator.”
She huffs with irritation. “Just trying to find out more about you, that’s all. Just want to know more about you and what you’re into, you know.
How much you… you know, like me or whatever…” She’s mumbling now, but I can pick up on every word.
I think she might be a little bit worried about how much she’s falling for me.
Same.
I’m worried about my feelings as well.
Which is exactly why I can’t give her a straight answer. There’s no need to make this worse.
Instead I rise up to my feet, following my urge to nuzzle her neck. Emma’s breath hitches and her heart rate kicks up as I lean down and swipe her hair to one side so I can inhale her deeply.
Fuck, she smells incredible.
I edge in closer to her, pressing my whole body up against her, but that’s the moment she freezes.
Something has changed in her for sure.
“The food will burn,” she tells me in a raspy voice. “I need to focus.” Fuck.
Well, I guess if she’s not in the mood, then what can I do?
I thought the sex chat would turn her on, but maybe she’s jealous imagining me with other women.
Not my intention, but she’s the one who brought it up.
I back off, heading to my room for a moment. Maybe I can get some answers.
I haven’t had to use the security cameras much, only when she’s making me worry, like right now.
I flick back through time, watching Emma wander around the cabin, looking bored and utterly unimpressed until she spots the cupboard I’m guessing she hasn’t seen before.
My cupboard.
I sit up a little straighter as I watch her start to rifle through it, diving into parts of my life I’m not ready to share.
Oh God, she’s seen the letters.
She’s read the letters.
She knows about the darkness from my past that I really don’t like to talk about.
I don’t know how to feel about that.
I can see in Emma’s face that she’s pitying me, probably thinking that I lost my soul mate, the one true love of my life.
Little does she know that no one was supposed to be able to open up my heart again, but she’s somehow managed to do it.
I thought it was impossible, but my feelings are flooding to the surface once more.
I kinda wonder if I should go out and talk to Emma about this, maybe fill her in with the details, let her ask all the questions that I’m sure she has.
But I don’t go right away… I remain in the bedroom, watching her.
Oh fuck.
I forgot about what else was in that cupboard to be honest, because I haven’t looked in there for a very long time. I always just wanted to keep it until the moment was right and I felt strong enough to go through it all, but as Emma spots it, I remember it all.
The gun.
Fuck.
Watching Emma panic as she spots it isn’t great.
I never really wanted her to worry that her life was in danger with me because I brought her here to protect her. To keep her away from the guns and the danger that people like Hudson and Vinnie possess.
I didn’t mean to bring her right into the middle of it here, in my cabin in the woods.
Once upon a time, I was going to give her to Vinnie, until I got to talk to her. Until I got to know her.
Ever since then I’ve always wanted to keep her safe.
She panics again when she hears the car pulling up, which means this has only just happened.
She puts the letters and my documents away, but stuffs the gun in her pants.
No wonder she didn’t want me to get too close to her. She’s out there, with the gun, which now means… Well, she could end this whenever she wants.
I stare at my bedroom door, wondering if she’s going to murder me over dinner. I think she knows that I have had her best interests at heart, but I’m sure the gun changed everything.
I swallow hard.
What do I do?
I’m obviously not going to go out there on the attack, but I also need to have to keep one eye open. I will have to make sure that Emma doesn’t do anything crazy.
She doesn’t even know that her family is in the country yet, and now I don’t know if I should tell her because that might lead to a bullet in my brain.
Fuck, this just got a hundred times more complicated.