“I’ve been through this before and I swore I wouldn’t go down this road ever again.”
“You haven’t gone down this road with me though.” My mom was right earlier, I really was a ‘daddy’s girl.’ Through and through. And now, I was going to take another page from my father’s handbook by parroting the lines of the person I was in love with. “I hope you don’t mind, Gray, but I’m going to use your own words against you…” I brought her hand to my lips and kissed her skin. “I wish you’d believe in us half as much as I do because if you did-I swear, we’d be unstoppable.” The reference to her past statement made her smile. “Listen to me, okay? I don’t know who hurt you, but I also don’t care. Regardless of who she is, I’m willing to pay for her mistakes… You just have to let me,” I declared, determined. “‘Cause what you and I can be-that’s priceless. Trust me, I’ll gladly deal with the consequences of her actions.”
“You’re sweet and I know you believe what you’re saying… But even if we disregard my past, most people who come out need more experience before settling down ’cause they-”
“After almost a full year of living with me, why are you bringing up ‘most people’..? You know me,” I emphasized, slowly enunciating my point. “There’s no point in discussing generalities or majorities because you know our full story… Statistics have no place in this conversation.”
“But the probability of us working out is-”
“Probability based on what? Other people’s experiences? None of that has any bearing on us.” I appealed to the fact that she was a DC Comics fangirl at heart. “You don’t enjoy ‘Superman’ any less just because most journalists don’t have superpowers, right? You don’t disregard his entire Krypton backstory just because majority of the people in the world aren’t like him?” I challenged. “Most orphans aren’t billionaires and yet, ‘Batman’ is your all-time favorite.”
“I get what you’re saying, but that’s not the same thing… Superhero stories require suspension of disbelief and we’re discussing reality here. Which is why I’m saying that most gay people-”
I loved her brilliant brain, but it was definitely pushing me to my cerebral limits… In any other situation, I would’ve let her win, but this was a do or die moment for me. This was the conversation that would lead me to either altering the present or (eventually) accepting the past. Which meant she didn’t even need to meet me halfway ’cause I was ready to meet her wherever she wanted me to go. I was prepared to debate with her until either my face turned blue or she well and truly bested me.
“If I can’t use superheroes to illustrate why you’re wrong, how about this-” I began. “Most people our age aren’t successful yet in their chosen professional fields, right? But there’s such a thing as ’30 Under 30’… Are you telling me that every year, the accomplishments of those thirty people aren’t real to you ’cause most twenty-somethings aren’t like them?”
“That’s different, too, like there are special circumstances-”
How she couldn’t see that our circumstances were special was incomprehensible to me… She knew firsthand that what we had was glitter and stardust, so I felt like she was just arguing with me for the sake of arguing. And yet, even if she was being so, so aggravating, I still wanted to kiss her so, so badly. Man, love was such a wild ride.
“Fine, then let’s make me the example,” I cut her off again. “Here I am, Gray, holding your hand-real as can be.” I rubbed her skin for emphasis. “Most filmmakers don’t achieve greatness… Based on your argument against us working out as a couple, like if you’re lumping me and you in with most people, then you must think I’m never gonna succeed career-wise, too.”
“I, uh, I-” She blinked and tilted her head. For the first time since our monumental talk started, she looked stumped. “Huh.”
“Tell me, what happened to me having endless possibilities and limitless potential? Were you wrong when you said that or are you wrong now? Because both scenarios can’t be true.”
She chewed on her lip. “That’s a good point. I have no counterargument for that.”
I grinned though my insides were a mess. My heart was thumping against my ribcage. My stomach was twisting itself into tighter and tighter knots. “Proud of me, aren’t you?”
“Always.”
“You’re the most clever person I know and you’re usually right about everything… But you’re wrong about this, about us,” I stressed to her. “To quote one of the best movies of the early 2000s, when it comes to us, ‘the limit does not exist.'” The ‘Mean Girls’ line made her laugh. “After what we’ve been through, I couldn’t care less about ‘the average person.’ Because that’s not you-and that’s not me when I’m with you… Stop equating us to ‘the average couple’ ’cause doing so makes less sense than not wearing pink on Wednesdays.”
She was trying not to smile, but she couldn’t help it. “Of course I want what you want. I mean, how can I not?” I felt the vice-like grip around my heart loosen up. “But it sounds way too idyllic. Like you said, this isn’t a movie… What happens if we try then we break up someday? I don’t know how to be friends with an ex and I don’t wanna ever lose you.”
“No matter what, our story as the two roommates in Apartment 202 is over.” I eyed the cardboard boxes behind her. “But this is just the start of me and you… Wherever you go, I go. Like whether as best friends or something more, we’ll be together for the rest of our lives. And if you do decide to give us a chance, know that I’m gonna go into our relationship believing with my whole heart, with my fucking soul that we’re endgame. If for some reason, we can’t make it work down the line though… Then I’ll learn how to be friends with you again and teach you how to be friends with me,” I reassured her. “Whatever happens, you’ll still have me and I’ll still have you because I can’t even imagine a reality without you in it.”
She looked to the side. Her white teeth sunk into her pink lower lip. She locked eyes with me again. But this time, she was smiling her one-of-a-kind smile. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Okay,” she repeated. “But first, I need you to promise me two things and they’re both non-negotiable,” she said and I nodded. Swear on everything I loved, if she asked me for the moon, then I’d pull out my phone and send emails to: NASA, SpaceX, Blue Origin, etc. Irrespective of what it was she needed, I was prepared to do everything within my power to give it to her. “If we do this and you get curious about other women or realize that you prefer men, then-”
“I would never-”
“Let me finish… If something like that happens, promise me you’ll end things with me before you do anything with someone else, okay? Infidelity is something I’ll never be able to forgive,” she stated plainly. “And of course I’ll do the same.”
It was such an easy ask. The idea I’d ever cheat on her was ridiculous… As absurd as flying in the ocean or swimming in the sky. Plain nonsense. Based on context clues, I was pretty sure I just learned why she and her personal ‘Heir of Slytherin’ broke up. Side note, whoever she was… Three cheers for the cheating snake. Yeah, I despised her for the hurt and damage she’d inflicted on Gray as well as Green Ranger, but if she hadn’t fucked up, then I might’ve never met the person who now owned my heart in perpetuity.
“I know that we only have one chance at this-I know that a breakup for you is final.” The stakes were high, but that didn’t matter because I was playing for keeps. “I promise I’ll never ever cheat on you… Cross my heart, Gray.”
To me, it might’ve been a given, but she needed to hear me say it out loud. The worst thing about trust issues was their permanence. A heart broken by betrayal could be pieced back together, but the cracks remained forever… Irremovable and ineradicable. Unfortunately, it was in those crevices and chinks that doubt and distrust festered.
“Thank you. Second thing-” She shot me an anxious look. “If you do decide to be with someone else, that’s okay as long as you break up with me beforehand… But no matter what, whoever it is can’t be any of my best friends or anyone they’re dating.”
“Not that it ever crossed my mind, but I also promise I’ll never ever date any of the other Power Rangers or their partners,” I swore to her. “Like why would I? You’re everything I want. That’s no problem for me at all.”
“Power Rangers?” She echoed, regaining her smile. “Do you still not know my friends’ names? How is that possible?”
“No, of course I do! That’s just what I secretly call your friend group. And fine, I might also refer to your best friends using their ‘Ranger colors’ in my mind,” I admitted to her, blushing. “I’m weird, I know.”
“That means, I’m like White Ranger to you?”
“No, you’re Gray.”
“Gray Ranger?”
I shook my head. “No, no-just Gray.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know… I guess ’cause you’re the main character in my eyes,” I said with a shrug and she laughed. “Yeah, yeah, I know it’s lame.”