Olivia’s POV:
“Ah, shit!” I exclaimed when the bowl of hot soup I was carrying slipped from my hands and shattered on the floor.
Jay quickly came running from the living room into the kitchen where I was standing.
“Olivia,” he whispered, then rushed to my side to check my hands for any injuries.
“I’m fine,” I whispered softly, forcing a smile.
“No, you aren’t, sweetie. Look at your feet!” He exclaimed, and I looked down.
They were slightly bruised from the hot soup that had splattered on them.
“It’s no big deal, Jay. I’m okay,” I said in a low tone, then gasped when he swept me off my feet, carrying me in a bridal style without warning.
“Jay!” I screamed at the top of my voice.
He ignored me and walked with me to the bathroom, quickly putting me in the tub. I stood still, trying not to annoy or anger him in any way.
“I said I’m fine,” I said when he grabbed the shower pipe and turned on the cold water at my feet.
A few minutes went by in silence as my mind wandered to Alec.
He looked so sad when he was driving away, and I felt so horrible watching him leave. Was I a bad person for reacting in such a way?
“Olivia, please be honest with me. Did anyone bully you at the beach?” he asked seriously.
I brushed my hand through my hair, taking off the tied ribbon, and then shook my head as I threw it down.
“No, Jay, and you know how I am. I can handle them on my own if they did,” I answered.
He closed off the shower, then extended his hand towards me.
“I never ever want to see the past bullying repeat itself in our present life. So whenever someone approaches you with bad intentions or words, always be honest and tell me about it,” he said as he helped me out of the tub.
“Okay,” I answered, and then pulled my hand away and walked out of the bathroom, going to my bedroom.
I quickly shut and locked the door once I was in.
“Why?” I whispered to myself as I covered my face with my hand while tears swelled in my eyes.
What was wrong with me?
Since I had met Alec, I couldn’t understand the emotions I was going through. When that man cried over the incident that had happened, my heart ached badly, and I wanted to comfort him. I even felt so jealous knowing he had a pregnant wife. When he was about to leave, a part of me wanted to beg him to stay back. And even now, it was more than I could take because knowing I would never see him again brought tears to my eyes.
I was so pathetic because all that I was living for was right here with me in our house, yet I wasn’t content.
“Mama,” Micah called from the door.
I quickly rubbed my eyes and dropped my hand.
“Yes, baby,” I answered in a cracked voice as I swallowed the forming lump in my throat.
“Papa said we will be going out for dinner tonight,” she said excitedly.
I unlocked the door and looked at her with a smile.
“Is that so?” I asked softly.
“Yes,” she answered cheerfully.
Whenever I was sad or there was a special occasion, Jay made sure to take us out as a family to eat or watch a movie. All the time, that worked wonders and lifted my mood, but now I wanted to do nothing but lock myself in the bedroom and cry my eyes out.
“Well then, tell papa that we will be ready in half an hour,” I said.
“Okie dokie,” she resounded happily, then turned and rushed back to the living room.
I sadly closed the door and walked to the closet to pick out my outfit.
Despite feeling low and down, I wasn’t going to be selfish and say no or stay behind when Micah was looking forward to going out.
I pulled out a black short dress, then looked at it seriously. I moved to the side where a huge mirror was and looked at myself as my mind wandered off to Alec again.
What was his type? Would he like me in a short dress, or did he prefer women who wore long dresses?
I sighed softly and dropped the dress to the ground.
What was he doing this minute? Was he laughing with his wife? Perhaps he was spending an intimate moment with her? Did he think of me in any way, or was he still driving?
I moved my hand to my hair and grabbed a handful, hurting my scalp.
“What is wrong with me?” I asked myself in a whisper, then squatted down and covered my face with my hands.
I was going out of my mind, and this was the first time in my life. My past college bullies and friends would laugh at me if they were to see me now. My nickname was Ace because of how I reacted to any person that approached me with their sexual needs. I clearly told them how I found them unattractive and wanted nothing to do with them, even when they were very good-looking, be it a man or a woman. Over time, they labeled me as someone who had no sexual desire or any form of affection towards people.
I too knew I was weird because somehow they were right. I felt no sexual attraction towards both genders and I wasn’t attracted to them in any way. Even now, I was faking my emotions towards Jay and doing everything in my power to seem affectionate in front of Micah. But with Alec, for the first time, I was feeling emotions I never thought I had: jealousy, attraction, and desire. I wanted him for myself, and I couldn’t stop myself from thinking about how handsome and sexy he was.
“Are you getting ready?” Jay asked when he walked into the room.
I quickly stood up and turned to look at him.
He had a concerned expression on his face as his eyes went to the dress on the floor.
“I’m sorry, I was having a hard time choosing what to put on,” I lied when he looked at me.
He moved closer and stood in front of me.
“Are you unwell?” he asked as he moved his hand to my cheek.
“No, I’m okay,” I whispered, then forced a smile across my face.
“You know, if you aren’t feeling well, we can always postpone it for another time, so please don’t force yourself in any way,” he said as I felt guilty.
“I’m really okay, so don’t postpone it for another day,” I answered softly.
“Alright, I’ll be ready in half an hour, but I’ll give you an hour to prepare because I think you might need it,” he said, then leaned in and kissed me as I froze, not moving or responding.
When he pulled back, he frowned deeply.
To say I was disgusted by his lips on mine was an understatement. I felt like throwing up, and I was trying my very best not to show it.
“Are you perhaps having regrets or second thoughts about us being together?” he asked as fear washed through me. I quickly shook my head and grabbed his hands into mine.
“I lied, I feel a little sick, but I’m sure in an hour I will be okay,” I forced out the words.
I was terrified of him taking Micah away from me. No matter what, I had to keep him interested in me.
“I knew it,” he said sadly, then brushed his hand through my hair.
“You don’t have to force yourself, Olivia. Stop being stubborn and give in to my words,” he said as I shook my head again.
“Micah is looking forward to this. I can’t stay behind,” I answered.
“I can always go with her, so please don’t force yourself. I’ll help her finish preparing in her room so you can take some rest,” he said, then walked out of my bedroom.
I moved to the bed and sat down in silence. A few minutes went by, and all I could do was think over everything.
When the door opened, Micah and Jay walked in, looking nice.
“How do we look?” Jay asked.
“Amazing,” I answered, and then stood up and went to them.
“I wish I could come with you,” I said softly, then leaned in and kissed Micah on the head.
“It’s okay, I explained everything to her, and she understands,” he answered when I stood upright to look at him.
“Please come back early and have fun,” I said as I tiptoed and kissed his cheek.
“Of course,” he answered, then turned and walked out of the room with her as I followed behind to see them off.
Once they were in the car, I waved with a smile. Immediately, he drove off, and I began running to the beach.
I had no idea what I was doing, but I was hoping I would feel better if I could stand in the very spot Alec had stood in.
“I’m insane,” I reminded myself over and over again as I picked up my pace.
The door to my house was left unlocked, and the way to the beach was dark. My phone was left in the house, and I couldn’t see clearly, yet I couldn’t stop.
After fifteen minutes of running and feeling tired, I stopped and began walking as sweat ran down my forehead.
I wasn’t going to stop until I was at the place. I just needed to reconnect myself to the very steps he had taken there.
After feeling like I had walked for more than an hour, the beach came into view. My breath was labored, and thankfully, the moon was shining brightly.
As I walked to where I had met Alec, I was shocked to see someone standing there. Although I couldn’t see his face, I could make out his build and height, and he looked so much like him,
As I got closer, I began scolding myself for imagining him in that spot.
Before I could reach him, I stopped in my tracks, then laughed at myself and fell to my knees on the sand, with my face lowered to the ground.
“This is not happening to me,” I whispered, then frowned when I picked up the scent of whiskey, which was mixed with an amazing scent of men’s perfume.
I slowly looked up, only to find the man standing in front of me, looking down at me with a bottle in his hand.
I swallowed hard, then slowly got to my feet.
“Alec?” I called in a cracked voice.
“Hello, Olivia,” he answered, as I widened my eyes in shock.
Oh, shit. He was real!
That was all that went through my mind as I gazed at him, not knowing what to say.