Anastasia
What have we done?
As he holds me in his arms in the aftermath of our orgasms, I am mostly in shock. Is this heavy feeling I have my guilt? I mean, that was it! My virginity that I kept so guarded is gone.
No more.
Goodbye.
He helps me up, and although I’m inwardly shaming myself for giving into my desires, I briefly wonder how Luigi knew I was a virgin. Had it ever come up?
Surely it had.
My stomach drops as I realize it was announced at the auction. That’s how he knew.
The way he took me, though. I sit up, exhausted, as he takes his vest off. Luigi scoots forward, and with a grunt, he moves me so he can stretch out on the sofa with me snuggled against him. I rest my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. It sounds so calm. It lulls me into a deep sleep.
I feel him moving under me, and I yawn. I don’t want to wake up, and I groan softly from being awake and the dull ache between my legs.
“You okay?” he asks quietly as I shift off him so he can get up.
“I’m fine. Go shower,” I whisper softly.
As soon as I hear the bathroom door click shut, I grab one of the scatter cushions and hug it to my chest.
If my father finds out about what we’ve done, that I gave Luigi my virginity, he’ll be mad as hell. Well, Luigi would be a dead man. I can guarantee that. My thoughts race between the pleasure I felt, how right I felt in his arms, and the idea that he would be killed for the simple act of loving me.
I have to act like this isn’t a big deal. We can’t be together. That’s the long and short of it. Nothing can happen between us.
Not again.
He cannot think that we can be an item.
Of all the things I’ve learned since my mother died, what stands out the most is that my father won’t hesitate to kill a man who touches me, with or without my consent.
I hear the bathroom door open and glance at Luigi as he goes to his room. I get up and grab my clothes, going to the bathroom. I have a scorching hot shower to ease some of the aches. I hope it doesn’t always hurt like this-so much pain for quite a bit of pleasure.
I go to my room and dry and change. I hear knocking on the front door, and my heart leaps into my throat.
I peek out of the room and see Luigi slowly approaching the door. He peers through the peephole and then sighs. He opens the door, and Dominic pushes past him.
My whole mood sinks.
“What the hell did you think you were doing?” Dominic’s voice roars through the apartment. I swallow hard.
How does he know? Does he know?
“About….”
“You were caught on camera fleeing the scene, Luigi,” Dominic shouts at him. “Did you just think you’ll go downtown and tear up the city, and no one would think twice about it? There are bodies we have to clean up. What the fuck is going on with you and Anastasia?”
My heart is hammering in my chest. If Luigi tells Dominic my plan, I will never be free again. My father already reluctantly lets me go out.
“We…I..” Luigi shakes his head. “Killian. He was supposed to be down there, and I thought I could get him. To make up for not killing him at the auction. I wanted to prove to Alessandro I could get the job done. He’s in cahoots with the Mexicans, they detected us first, and all hell broke
loose. I was planning for it to be a clean hit and vanish.” He doesn’t even sway in my direction.
“And Anastasia? What the hell were you thinking taking Ivan’s daughter with you?”
Luigi shakes his head. “I thought she’d be safer with me than not. It was a stupid idea. I realized that once the Mexicans made us.”
“Anastasia!” Dominic shouts, so I open the door and walk out wideeyed.
“Get packed. You’re going home to your father right now. He’s worried sick about you.”
I nod slowly, and he turns to Luigi. “Alessandro will deal with you once we’ve dropped her off at home.”
Luigi shrugs. “I’ll get my things, cous.”
I go to my room and look around. There’s nothing I want to take with me, not really. I pack everything neatly into the apartment closet.
So much for Luigi’s family not knowing where he’d be. I wonder how they figured out where we were.
I leave the room and go to stand by Dominic. “Your father has questions you’ll have to answer. It’s in your best interest to be honest.”
I look at him coldly. “You have no power over me, Dominic. If I want to walk out here right now, I can. The only reason I am coming with you is because one day I will lead my family, and you may have counsel for me.”
I sounded braver than I felt, and I swear to God I heard Luigi snort in his bedroom.
Dominic glares at me. “We’ll see what your father says about that, princess.”
“Don’t call a queen a princess,” I snip, crossing my arms.
Dominic rolls his eyes. “Luigi, hurry the fuck up.”
He comes out with a kit bag and meets my eyes. “We can go,” he says. Dominic walks out of the apartment, and I glance back. The laptops are nowhere to be seen. I hope he’s taken them with him.
I walk out and see him glancing at the sofa. I shake my head and leave, getting into the front of the car rather than the back so we’re not sitting near each other.
We reach my house in what feels like record time, and my father is standing outside waiting. I climb out of the car and glance at Luigi. “Thank you for keeping me safe.”
He nods, and I shut the door. I walk toward my father as they pull off.
“Ana,” he says, walking to me and hugging me. “What is going on? How did you get mixed up with the Mexicans? Are you doing drugs?” “I’m fine,” I say quietly, refusing to look at him.
He uses his finger to tilt my head up. “Have you been doing drugs?
Is that how this happened? Tell me who I must kill.”
I shake my head and say, “I said I was fine, Papa. Why do you never listen to me?”
He frowns. “Like you listen to me. As head of this family, you should always abide by my word. You worried everyone. I’m still not sure of the entire story. If someone has hurt you in any way, you need to tell me so I can send that group a message they won’t forget.”
I shake my head. “It’s over, Papa. Can we just go back to normal?”
“No,” he growls. “You are not to go anywhere without a guard or escort at all times. No more clubbing. No more partying. You will do nothing without my permission, do you understand me?”
“So you’re going to control me with an iron fist for the rest of my life? Like a caged animal. I’m no better than the drug mules you use to smuggle narcotics into the country.”
“Anastasia, watch your tone with me,” he snarls.
“Why? It’s not like you’re going to send me away! How would you control me then?” I raise my voice, even though I don’t mean to. I just feel this wave of emotion rolling over me as I glare at him. “I am more than capable of looking after myself. I am more capable than you realize.” “That’s why Luigi Sorvino had to save you from a bunch of
Mexicans?” he sneers. “Is that what you call capable?”
“Oh, how I wish you and Mama had switched places that day,” I snap. “If she were here, she would at least understand. She wouldn’t be pigheaded and stubborn like you.”
“Don’t you talk about your mother…” he starts to say.
“Oh yes, we can never talk about Mama. She existed, and she loved us, and no matter how hard you try, you cannot erase her from our memories.”
I feel the tears forming, but I push past him. He shouts after me, but I hurry. I’m done talking to him. My body aches from the sex, my emotions hurt from the guilt, and my heart bleeds for my mother. I pass Tori, who is standing just inside the door.
“Ana…” she says softly as I pass.
“I’m fine,” I say quickly. “Really.” I go down the hallway to my room, shutting the door loudly behind me and locking it.
I throw myself onto the bed and sob.
My heart feels broken all over again.
Luigi
I stand in front of Alessandro. He has risen from his chair and is leaning on his table in front of me, his arms crossed.
“What is going on, Luigi? Tell me from the beginning,” he says.
I explain the story to him again, just as I told it to Dominic. My older cousin is already pissed enough with me to drag me in front of Alessandro if he finds out I lied.
Well, it wouldn’t end well.
Alessandro looks at Dominic, who is watching me. I keep my eyes focused on the head of our family. I remain as calm as I can.
Alessandro sighs and moves to stand in front of me. He’s taller than me, but not by much. I look into his eyes as he says, “Whatever it really is,
Luigi, I hope you’ve got it under control.”
I don’t say anything. I don’t mean to be defiant, but I don’t want to give anything away.
“If you need help, you know you can ask me,” he sounds so charitable, but I feel bitterness rising inside me.
“I never ask for help because I am the help,” I comment, pulling a face.
“Watch yourself, little cousin,” my Don murmurs. “I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but there is a hierarchy in this family, and I’m on the top of the food chain.”
Dominic places a hand on Alessandro’s shoulder. “Don’t mind him, Ales. He feels bad because he’s caused an inconvenience for the family by not killing the Irishman. Something we will have resolved soon.” Dominic looks at me and motions to the door with his head. “Off you fuck, little cousin.”
I leave, using one of my cousin’s drivers to take me to my main apartment. When I walk in, it’s cold, not in temperature, but in lack of presence. Her presence.
I shakily pour myself two shots of whiskey neat and sit on the armchair, sipping it slowly. I stare at the black leather of my expensive sofa, which drags my mind back to Anastasia.
And to the little blood stain I’d seen on the material sofa where we’d had sex.
I think back to how painful her little whines and cries had sounded, the noises she made. In the throes of passion, I probably hadn’t been as gentle as I could have been. I had moved hard and fast. I worry that I hurt her.
I can’t pretend I didn’t know she was a virgin, it was openly announced at the auction. Can’t put that cat back in the bag.
What surprises me is that it hadn’t come out before this. I mean, I thought… She always had a good-looking guy on her arm. Surely it would have come up at some point when we spoke to each other in the past.
Shit, while I feel like fireworks are going off because I was the first, I consider that if Ivan wasn’t going to kill me before, he’s definitely going to kill me now. I take out my phone to message her but realize she wouldn’t have her phone anymore. It would have been lost or destroyed when she was taken prisoner.
I down my whiskey and go onto social media, scrolling to her profile and checking if she’s online. That little green dot is there.
I hit private message and pause. What do I say? Hey Ana, since I was the first dick you fucked? My cousin came and tore us apart before we could discuss what we are now, and if I’d hurt you?
I take a deep breath and send her a message.
Hey Ana,
Are you okay? Did everything go okay when you got home?
Lui.
I wait for the little bubble with dots to appear, then read the message she sends back.
Hey,
I had a massive fight with my dad, but it doesn’t matter. We’re still on, right? You’re still going to help me?
X
That little ‘x’ haunts me. What does it mean? Is it a kiss? A hug? Just a sign-off? Then it dawns on me what she means, and I balk.
You can’t be serious! Alessandro nearly had my balls on a dinner plate tonight. If you want to go through with this, we must bring Ivan and Alessandro on board and get their permission.
The dots appear immediately, and although they’re the same as before, I can’t help but sense a wave of anger in them.
My father and Alessandro will not approve. I need to prove to my father that I’m a leader, and you know what? If you won’t help me, then I’ll figure it out on my own.
My protective nature takes over, and I want to throw the empty whiskey glass across the room. I start typing furiously, erase, then type again.
Anastasia,
Don’t you DARE do anything without running it by me. Don’t be stupid.
I get up and pace as I wait for her response.
Have you even checked if your search got any results?”
I hurry to get the laptop, setting it up at my small dining table. I check the search that’s been running in the background and am surprised at how it has narrowed down Mateo’s location.
We’re close.
I wait.
Let’s meet for lunch tomorrow. Anywhere but a place our family owns. You’ll have to pick me up. Ivan won’t let me go anywhere without an escort.
Agreed?
I take a deep breath.
I want to agree but how are you going to convince your father to let me be your escort? If you can then yes! Tomorrow. One in the afternoon. Be ready.
The bubbles appear again.
Don’t worry, Ivan knows I hate our guards. He’ll think I’m rebelling by using Italian guards instead.
x
I put my phone down and look around as though coming out of a daze. I hadn’t asked her the question I wanted to, but maybe it’s better to ask that sort of thing in person. I’ll ask her at lunch.
It’s a restless night for me again. My thoughts and dreams switch between Alessandro shooting me, Ana being dragged away, or Ana riding me like a cowboy.
I can’t take it. In the early hours of the morning, I sit up in bed with a raging erection. My cock pulsates from the thought of her wrapped around me, with me buried deep inside her. A place no one else has touched. I drag myself to the shower and turn the water on hot. I picture her riding me again, taking my meat in my hands and beating it off. I groan, saying her name softly as my hand jerks faster. I think about how pure the first time someone has sex is. When I chase my release, I wish it was with her again. I drag myself back to bed, hoping for some sleep.
I’m exhausted when the sun rises, and I have a strong cup of coffee to wake up. I hang around the apartment to while away the hours until lunch. Dominic calls a few times, but I send him to voicemail. The last time he calls, I send him a message saying I’m hungover and I’ll call him later.
He seems to relent after that, and I get some peace.
When it’s time to leave, I keep checking to ensure I’m not followed by anyone on my drive to Ana. I don’t want the Mexicans using me as a reason to get to her. They’re a lot more organized than I thought.
Juanita is very cunning.
I arrive at the house, and Ivan is standing outside the front door, watching Ana standing in the courtyard. She marches over to my car and climbs in. Ivan comes around to my side, and I keep a straight face.
“Do not let her out of your sight,” he says with a threatening tone,
“if she’s going to insist on an Italian guard, you better be as good as Alessandro says you are.”
“Yes, sir,” I say, nodding.
“Have a nice lunch, Ana,” Ivan says, looking at her.
She turns her head away from him, so I say, “I’ll take good care of her, don’t worry.”
I pull out of their house and glance at her. “You’re still mad at him.”
“It’s none of your business,” she brushes me off. It’s a touchy subject.
We still go to Fifth Avenue, but away from the bistro. Once we’re settled and have ordered drinks, I focus my attention on her.
“Ana…”
“I have a plan. I want you to use me as bait to lure Mateo out, and then you can kill him.” She looks at me rather confidently.
I clench my fist. “Not a fucking chance. You have never, are not, and will never be bait for any plan you come up with. Not only could you get killed, but your father will kill both of us.”
She glares at me. “We’re doing this.”
“No, we’re not,” I whisper furiously, glancing around as people look at us.
“We are.”
“We are not.”
“Luigi, we are.”
“Ana, we’re not,” I say. “At all or ever.”
“You’re so fucking stubborn,” she hisses at me.
“I took your virginity,” I say quietly, just blurting it without thought.
She stiffens, and I frown. “Did it hurt? Are we OK?”
“It doesn’t matter,” she stands up. “I’ve lost my appetite.”
I throw some bills on the table and wave off the server. “Ana! It does matter.” I go after her. “Ana, stop. We need to discuss this.”
“It didn’t mean anything.” She whips around and stands inches from my face, although I’m looking down. “The sex didn’t mean anything. Losing my V card didn’t mean anything. We’re not an item. We’re not a couple. You’re the hired help. A hitman I’m paying for, and one that I happened to shag.”
I feel like a knife has been plunged into my gut and turned.
We drive back to her house in silence, and as she’s about to get out of the car, I grab her arm. “You don’t do anything without running it by me, or I tell Alessandro and Ivan your whole plan.” It’s a threat, but I’m angry.
She yanks her arm away and hisses at me, “No man holds dominion over me, not anymore.”
She slams my car door shut, making me wince slightly, and I watch her storm into the house.
God, she’s beautiful.
And so fucking dangerous.