Shirley
I stand at the edge of the curb, waiting for the cab that I ordered. I am so angry that I feel like the next person who speaks to me will severely regret it.
I’m not surprised when that person is Evgenii.
“Hey, come on, it’s cold outside. Let me take you home,” he says gently, not too far from me but not invading my personal space. I want to lash out at him. I have long nails. I can scratch that handsome mug so he never makes another girl feel how I felt when he used me.
My fault.
That’s what everyone has constantly reminded me of over the years. It was my fault that I was naive and let myself be vulnerable to anyone, let alone someone from a rival family.
I don’t respond to him. I keep my arms crossed over my midsection and stare across the road, trying my best to keep my anger contained inside. Personal feelings aside, our families are aligned, and if I go too far, I could cause a war.
“Hey, don’t ignore me.” He gently takes my arm. “Come with me.”
I wrench my arm away from him. He’s gone too far by touching me.
My voice is like ice. “I don’t have to do anything, anything at all, that I don’t want to.”
I can see the recognition dawn on his face as he remembers telling me, when he broke it off with me, that he didn’t make me do anything I didn’t want to. There’s a hurt in his eyes as I glare at him, a softness, almost a regret.
A cab turns the corner, and I raise my arm, not taking my eyes off him. I want him to feel my anger and my hate.
I think he knows better than to try to open the door for me. I climb into the cab, but before I shut the door, I lean out, looking down rather than up because I won’t look up at him. “Unless it’s business related, I don’t want any communication from you.”
With that, I shut the door and settle back. “The Rosa Orchard Estate.”
The cab driver thankfully doesn’t try to talk on the way home. If he senses I’m upset, he doesn’t show it, so I shuffle through my wallet and pull out a fifty-dollar tip plus what the fair should be.
When he pulls up to the gate, I roll down my window and signal to Leo, one of the guards, that it’s me who has arrived.
They open the gates, and the cab driver takes me to the front door. I hand over the cash. “Keep the change.”
“Hey, thanks, lady,” he calls as I shut the door and walk toward the front door.
I didn’t realize it was so late, and it seems no one is up. I slip out of my noisy heels and carry them as I move through the dimly lit entrance, up the stairs, and to my room.
I drop my things on the armchair in the corner of my room, make sure the door is firmly shut, along with the curtains, and flip the switch for the light.
I sigh angrily and sit on the bed, tapping my food as I think about the audacity of what Evgenii did tonight. I stand up and pace slightly before I go to the bathroom and undress as I look at myself in the mirror.
A sigh of relief escapes my lips as my bra drops off. My breasts are swollen and tender. It must almost be that time of the month. I stand there naked, leaning on the basin and staring into the mirror.
I am so angry with Evgenii for stepping into my matters and my engagements, but at the same time, a small nagging voice at the back of my head tells me… it was kind of hot. He was very protective and very defensive. Then he was so tender when we were alone outside and just wanted to get me home safely.
I roll my shoulders and start freshening up before bed. I slip into a nightie and then into bed, thinking about Evgenii as I drift off to sleep.
The violent urge to throw up jolts me awake, and I dash to the bathroom to spill my guts. Well, that’s my wake-up call.
I get washed up, showered, dried, and dressed before I head downstairs for breakfast. I can smell the pancakes from upstairs already. Everyone is there as I sit next to Helena. We pass pancake stacks and syrups and jams around.
“Here, Shirls,” Dominic says, holding a plate of lemon curd out to me. My stomach does a flip flop, and I pull a face, bile rising in my throat. I quickly pass the plate along.
“You? Not piling on the lemon curd?” Alessandro asks. “You used to eat that from the bowl with a spoon.”
“I think the food was off at that French place last night,” I comment, glad when the smell is no longer close to me.
We chit-chat as we eat, and as people finish up, they start to leave to attend to their duties.
I finish breakfast and walk toward the stairs to my office. At the base of the stairs, I feel a hand on my arm. “Shirls.”
It’s Helena who smiles at me warmly. “Please come with me.”
Curious, I follow her through the house and out into a greenhouse. I haven’t seen this before, and I smile. “This is so beautiful. It suits you, Ma.”
“Alessandro built it for me. He’s a good child. You all are good children. Come sit with me.”
I feel slightly panicked, as though I’ve done something wrong and been caught out. We sit together, facing each other, and Helena looks into my eyes. “Are your breasts feeling swollen? Heavy? Tender? Are your hips maybe sore? A little food aversion to things you normally love?”
I look at her, confused. “How… I… I mean, yes, some things are making me feel sick. I guess the food here is richer than on the West Coast, and I’m pretty sure it’s almost time for my period.” I try to work out my cycle as she speaks to me.
“Well, there are two options here that I recognize. Either you have a bug and need to go to a doctor, or you’re pregnant and still need to go to a doctor.”
I stare at her. I can feel the color draining from my face. “Pregnant?
Why would you think I’m pregnant?”
“I assume, as an adult, you do have sex.” Helena gives me a wry smile. “Must be a family thing. I am surprised that Dominic and Arianna aren’t parents yet, to be honest.”
An awkward silence hangs between us before she takes my hand. “Have you been seeing anyone? Maybe had sex recently? Cause I’ve only noticed your symptoms recently, so it can’t have been too long ago.” She doesn’t know about Evgenii. She can’t.
My mind is spinning, and I think of my drunken one-night stand with my Russian ex-lover and how passionate we were. We weren’t passionate. We were drunk. I scold myself. But did we use a condom? I would have! I can’t be on birth control anymore, so I’m always careful to use a condom.
My eyes dart back and forth as panic settles in my abdomen and chest, a frantic feeling that the shit is about to hit the fan.
This CANNOT be happening.
I stand up. “I don’t think I’m pregnant,” I say hurriedly. “I think it’s the food, Ma. I don’t eat as much rich food as before.”
Helena reaches for my hands, but I step back. “And I have so much to do for Alessandro. For this new deal he wants me to manage. There’s so much paperwork, and I’m trying to find out what others are offering so we can win. You know, in fact, I’m late for a meeting with one of our business partners.”
I know I’m talking at lightning speed. Helena stands up. “Shirls, calm down.”
“I’m calm. I’m calm.”
I am anything but calm.
“I need to go.” I turn to leave.
“Shirls.”
“I’ll catch up with you later, Ma,” I call as I hurry out of the greenhouse. I pass by several family members as I rush up the stairs to grab my purse. I can’t be pregnant.
I’m not pregnant.
One time can’t…
Was he even inside me when….
No, I would have used a condom.
I look in the mirror and take several deep breaths. I need to confirm this. I need to get this distraction, this simple misdirection, out of the way. Once I confirm I’m not pregnant, I can relax and continue working, sit down with Ma later, and tell her she had it wrong.
I fix my hair and pick up my purse. I almost bowl Carmine and Frankie over as I exit my room.
“Where are you going?” Carmine asks.
“I’ll be back in like an hour,” I call, taking the stairs quickly. “If you need something, see me then. Something urgent came up.”
I hear them mutter behind me, but I don’t have time for anything other than getting this test. I go to one of the drivers. “I need to get some medication at the pharmacy. Can you take me to the closest one?”
“Yes, ma’am,” he says with a deep, thick Italian accent. He opens the back door, and I slip into the car.
I settle back and close my eyes.
I can’t be pregnant.
Evgenii
I haven’t slept at all. I always knew I’d hurt Shirley, but I guess I was blind to how hard she had fallen for me. And now, in hindsight, I see how hard I had fallen for her. I’m still so in love with her.
As I pull into Ivan’s driveway, my mind is groggy with fatigue and jumbles of thoughts and emotions. I get out of my car and glance over my shoulder at the sound of steel grating on steel. Something’s jammed the gates.
I look to my right. Ivan is coming to see what the noise is, and that’s when it happens: A car with dark-tinted windows pulls across the driveway, and the windows roll down far enough to push an assault weapon through the front and back windows.
“Ivan! Get back!” I shout, preparing to dive to safety myself. Bullets start flying, and I feel a sharp pain in my arm. Guards are shouting around me, and I hear Ivan calling my name.
“I’m fine! I’m fine!” I call back, crawling toward the house despite the pain in my arm.
The car speeds off as fast as it pulled up, and we’re left in stunned silence until my men start shouting. Two of our guards are not breathing.
I get up off the floor and stumble forward. Ivan catches me and leads me into the house, barking orders to his guards to send the injured to the hospital and to cover the bodies of those who didn’t make it.
We go to the living room, where Tori is holding a sobbing Roman against her chest. “Oh, Evgenii, are you okay?”
I give her a soft smile. “Flesh wound, barely felt it, Tori.”
Ivan insists I lie on the settee while Tori takes Roman out of the room, probably to one of the staff to watch him.
“I won’t stand for this,” Ivan growls. “No one attacks my men or my house.”
He gets up and takes out his phone. “I’ll get the doctor to give you stitches and something to prevent infection.”
Tori comes back in quickly with a first aid kit and some anti-septic. I shift and pull my shirt up and off, lying back down. “Don’t mind my hairy ass.”
“It’s a chest, not an ass,” she smiles, looking at the wound. She pours some antiseptic onto some gauze and holds it to my injury.
I focus on Ivan as he hangs up the phone. “It was the Golubev family,” I say.
“Why would they attack us?” Ivan asks. “What proof have you got?”
“I pissed Mikhail off last night when I interrupted his dinner with Shirley. He’s clearly making moves on her to get information, and he’s pissed I messed it up for him.” I tilt my head and glance at the blood leaking down my arm that Tori is trying to stem.
She switches gauze as Ivan sits near my head. “Evgenii, I’m only going to say this once. Get your emotions in check. You are acting like a jealous husband. You’re distracted, and it’s dangerous. I want to know who really attacked us, and don’t just say Golubevs. Give me proof. If it is them, they will pay for it dearly. But I’m not declaring war because a girl whose heart you broke doing family business is seeing someone else.”
The words sting and I fall quiet. I look at the ground, considering what he said. He’s always been a leader since we were kids, and I trust his advice wholeheartedly.
“Don’t be such an asshole.”
Tori’s declaration shocks both of us, and I glance at her. She’s glaring at Ivan. “You know for damn sure that you would start a war if the roles were reversed, and it was me instead of Shirley. This is no different.”
Ivan’s eyes softened because Tori was defending me. He leans forward. “My love, I would burn the world for you, but you’re my wife.
Not my ex-girlfriend that I can’t get over.”
I put my free hand over Tori’s. “He’s right.”
Ivan looks at me sadly and continues, “Even if Evgenii loves her now, after what he’s done, Shirley will not forgive him, so there’s no point.
He should let it go.”
“You forgave me,” Tori said, looking deeply into Ivan’s eyes.
A deep silence hangs about the room when there’s a sudden knock at the door, and we all jump slightly.
“It’s the doctor,” Aleks says, leading the older gentlemen in. Ivan and Tori leave the room as the doctor patches me up before giving me an antibiotic injection in the arm.
I get up, get dressed once he’s done, and go into the hallway where Ivan is. I don’t see Tori, she must have gone back to Roman.
“I’m going to see if the Sorvinos know anything of the attack or if they’ve also been targeted. I’ll report back as soon as I have something,” I say, standing straight and emotionless.
Ivan looks into my eyes. “Don’t go near Shirley. Ask one of the other brothers like Dominic.”
“Of course,” I say, giving him a small smile. “Be safe, Pakhan.”
“Also, take Aleks and Gregori,” Ivan demands. “I don’t want anyone getting to you once you’re off the property.”
I nod and leave. I groan as I see the bullet-ridden body of my car but turn to the left to where Aleks is waiting for me with one of Ivan’s bulletproof sedans.
The trip to Dominic takes a while, and I think about what Ivan said about me having to let go of Shirley because she won’t forgive me.
But Ivan forgave Tori.
Maybe there is a chance…
I shake my head. I can’t be distracted now that I have a job to do. We lost young guards today, men who just wanted to provide for their families as we provide for ours.
Once we’re let onto Dominic’s property, I’m escorted with my guards to the back of the house, where Dominic is assembling a table.
“Evgenii, I’m surprised you’ve come here.” He glances up at me and sees my bloody shirt. “What’s happened?”
“An attack at Ivan’s home. I have some questions. Firstly if you or your family were attacked?”
“Not that I’ve been informed.” Dominic sets down the screwdriver he’s holding. “Do you have any leads?’
“What do you know of the Golubev family? How are they toward your men?” I ask, sitting nearby Dominic.
Dominic motions for one guard to get us drinks. “I know Alessandro doesn’t like them, but there’s a truce in place so that our families aren’t at war. I don’t trust them at all. Other than that, they’ve been very quiet, which is always suspicious.”
I nod my head. “They’ve also made a truce with Ivan, but I have a very good reason to think they are going to betray both our families.”
“What’s that reason?” I have Dominic’s full attention now, and it makes me uncomfortable. Obviously, he knows what I did to Shirley years ago, so bringing this up now might be a sore point.
There’s nothing for it.
“Last night, I interrupted a dinner date between Mikhail and Shirley,” I say quietly. “Mikhail wasn’t happy.”
Dominic studies my face. “My sister Shirley?” I can hear the threat in his tone.
“Yes, but she left shortly afterward. I don’t think she was giving….”
“She wouldn’t. She learned the hard way after you took advantage of her,” his words are laced with venom, and I know I deserve them. “But that’s history, and although I wanted to kill you then, I have forgiven you and promised Alessandro I wouldn’t cut your dick off.”
I give him a strained smile. “It won’t happen again, I can assure you.”
“You’re right, it won’t. Keep your dick away from all of my sisters.” He sighs and looks away. “Okay, Shirley was probably just trying to get information from him. She’s brilliant and charming, and I bet she probably would have got a lot out of him if you hadn’t interrupted.”
I swallow back the rage I feel, thinking of what might have been between the two of them last night. Dominic seems to read my mind. “Don’t worry. I would have interrupted too.”
They bring us some lemonade, and I sip mine as Dominic turns back to the table he’s assembling. “I’ll speak to Shirley. I’ll see what she found out and if Mikhail dropped any interesting hints that might assist us in figuring out who attacked Ivan’s house.”
I finish my lemonade. “Rather you than me, she’s made it clear that she never wants to speak to me again unless it’s to deal with family business.”
It’s clear Dominic approves of this decision, and I stand up. “Be safe.”
“I’ll let Alessandro know to increase security,” he says, reaching out. We shake hands, and I leave.
In the car, as we’re driving out of the property, I take out my phone. I can’t help myself. I know that, but I have to try.
I text Shirley about what has happened at Ivan’s house and how she needs to move around with security because I think it’s Mikhail behind the attack. I ask her if she’s okay and if she needs anything.
I’ll say anything, really, to get any response from her, whether it’s good or bad. I just want to stay connected to her. I know she may move on, and I can’t hold onto this forever, but while I can, I’ll protect her with every tool of the trade at my disposal.