[Dawn]
Sophie is standing in front of me, trying to block the way back to the bedroom from the bathroom.
“No,” I repeat. “I’m refusing, not because it isn’t a nice gesture of yours.”
“But you’re in danger,” Sophie implores. “Fucking Russian danger.”
“I know,” I say, squeezing under her arm and putting my bag of toiletries on the bag I’ve packed to take to my mothers. “My mother is also in danger.”
“She’s welcome as well!” Sophie throws up her hands.
“You don’t understand though, Soph, it’s not the place. It’s not that you’re offering help; it’s that my mother is comfortable in her home.
She doesn’t know that Andre died because of the Russians, she’s grieving because her son died in a car crash. If we come to your house, I have to explain everything else her son was up to since he left home.”
I fought to keep the tears of frustration from breaking through. All I wanted to do was move in with Sophie and Luca too, to hide away and let the problem be sorted out.
But Aldo had already been penalized for that and was trying his best to figure it out. So if that wasn’t stressful enough, there was also the baby…
Which I hadn’t told Sophie about yet.
“What’s it gonna take for you to realize you need to come and stay at our house?” Sophie crosses her arms and leans against the kitchen counter.
“I’m only letting you pack all this so you eventually come to ours.” She smiles, but I see the desperation there.
“When are you gonna realize I’m not? Look, I’m grateful Sophie, but I have to go with my mom.”
“At least let me post guards or something!”
“You’ve already got them helping Aldo.”
Sophie’s smile falters, and her eyes go wide.
“You haven’t got them helping Aldo? Is Luca really that humiliated that he refuses to help Aldo?” My heart rate spikes immediately, and my head begins pounding. “And he thinks I’ll stay in the same home as him?” I growl and grab a t-shirt off the floor and stuff it in the bag.
“It’s not that he’s not coming around to it. I’m working on it.” Sophie takes my hand and squeezes it. She’s really trying to get me to come.
“But you’ve gotta understand, there’s so much politics involved here. They already had him on thin ice, and, well, they’re still unsure of whether they’ll recognize him as a Don-”
“After four years?”
Sophie rolls her eyes. “I shouldn’t have opened the can of worms. But yes, essentially.”
“But he should’ve told Aldo to be weary of that.” I press on.
“And Aldo should’ve told Luca about the Russians before he heard it through Leandro.” she contends.
“I know,” I say, slumping down on the bed.
“Stupid men and their stupid pride.” My tears threaten to break then. If grieving and being angry at a brother weren’t enough, being pregnant and having mood swings at the drop of a hat didn’t make things any better.
Because as angry as I tried to stay at my brother, I couldn’t. I missed him. I’d missed him for a long time and always assumed there would be more time for us to repair our relationship. But now there wasn’t.
“Stupid men-” I blather, but I lose the battle with the tears.
Sophie swoops in and pulls me into a hug.
I let go and grasp onto her. “My stupid brother, and his pride too. He should’ve told us. We could’ve helped.”
Sophie strokes my hair and just rocks me slowly. The image of Michael comes into my mind, and I can’t help but see myself like a gigantic grown up baby.
I laugh. Sophie falters and pulls back. Her eyes think I’m crazy.
“I just pictured myself as a gigantic baby. As if you were comforting Michael.”
Sophie’s bottom lip pouts, and she chuckles, then pulls me back to hug it out. “It’s okay, Dawn. You of all people taught me that people can change and that we have to trust them. I’m sure your brother wanted to tell you these things, but, maybe he just struggled to get there?
Sometimes breaking who we’ve been for the length of our lives is tough. But changing who we’ve been in the last few years, in the eyes of someone who has known you longer is even harder.
I don’t think your brother ever meant to hurt you, or us for that matter.”
“Did you say that to Luca?” I ask, pulling back and wiping my nose on a sleeve.
“I did,” Sophie says. “Luca likes to think that he’s made himself this big old and wise don as of late, but it’s me he gets half of his wisdom from.”
That makes me smile, and I take a big, shaky breath. Letting it swirl down into my lungs and fill out my belly. “I’m pregnant,” I say.
Sophie’s eyes cannonball out of her face and she chokes on the air she’s breathing. “What!” she screams.
I grin and shake my head. “I found out the other week. Aldo and I are pregnant.”