Kendall
“Because I knew that you would act like this! I knew that you’d hate it,” I try to explain, taking in deep breaths and feeling dizzy. I don’t want to lose her friendship but I also want to stand up for myself. I want to stand up for Camden.
“Camden is going to break your heart, honey,” Elora says softly. “That’s why I don’t want you with him.”
He already did, I think, but I don’t say it, gritting my teeth and fighting back tears.
“That’s my problem.” I sigh. “Look, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” I say finally, my voice shaking. “But I have a right to be happy, and I want this baby.”
Elora looks at me for a long moment and then stalks out of the door, shutting it behind her. I sigh again. Elora can be a bit of a brat, but I hope that she comes around. After all, I want her to be the aunt this baby deserves.
I try to calm down, taking deep breaths, and then I follow her out into the hallway. She’s not there, but I hear yelling coming from Camden’s room and I roll my eyes.
I decide that I need to decompress and I walk down the stairs and out toward the pool. My father is there, in a pair of swimming trunks, his feet in the water. He’s had plenty to drink and I can tell by the glassy look in his eyes, but he’s not a big drinker so I’m not worried.
I wish I could have a glass of wine myself.
It’s been a really long few weeks.
My father smiles at me as I kick off my shoes and sit next to him, putting my feet in the water next to his.
“Glad to have you back, carissima,” he mumbles, and I lean my head against his shoulder, seeking comfort.
He puts an arm around me, and it feels nice to have this moment with him. We don’t have many father/daughter moments. Usually we’re in the same house but doing different things. He won’t let me in to the things he gets up to, the things he’s not supposed to be doing because he has a bad heart. He’s still very much in the life despite his ailing health, and I know that.
But it’s the way that we make money. The alternative is what, he gets a regular job? Minimum wage because he’s never finished school? It’s not like he’s going to do that, so I try not to complain. But I worry about him.
“How’s the ticker?” I ask him quietly.
He thumps his chest. “Still ticking.”
I laugh. “I guess that’s the best I can hope for.”
“How are you, carissima?” he asks, and I blink, surprised, but don’t lift my head from his shoulder.
“I’m okay, Papa,” I say, although that’s not really true.
“You have a certain look, carissima,” he says, and then I do lift my head to look at him.
“What does that mean?”
“You look lovesick,” Papa says softly, and tears spring to the backs of my eyes.
It’s like for the first time in a long time, he sees me, and it makes me feel comforted and not alone.
“I am lovesick,” I admit, and Papa nods, looking down at his feet which he’s kicking in the water gently.
“Camden, right?” he asks, and I swallow hard.
I don’t answer, but Papa seems to know.
“He seems like a good man,” he says. “Takes care of you.”
I bite my lip. “Yeah,” I answer, not sure what else to say. I don’t want to tell my father that Camden doesn’t want me, that he’s gotten me pregnant and he wants to keep seeing other women.
“I always knew you’d fall in love, carissima. You’ve got a big heart, lots of love to give.” He looks over at me with a serious gaze. “Just make sure that you give it wisely.”
I nod slowly, taking in his words. Maybe I need to back off even more from Camden. Maybe it’s just something that I can’t control, and I just need to protect myself.
My father has given me a lot to think about, and a lot of comfort, so we sit there for a long time, my head leaned against his shoulder, his arm around me.
If only life could always be so simple as it is in this moment.