Kendall
I soak in the bath for the longest time, hoping that it will make me feel better. I managed to eat half my plate for dinner, which is progress since I’ve barely been keeping anything down. I’m not sure if it’s the pregnancy or just because I feel so upset.
I miss Camden, miss being around him and sleeping next to him, and I don’t know what to do about it. It’s not like I can easily forgive him or go back to being in a physical relationship with him.
That won’t work, will it?
I wish that I could maintain a relationship with him, at least a casual one, but that’s not me. I can’t handle him seeing other women, and clearly he’s not ready to give up that part of his life. I wish he saw me as worthy, but he doesn’t so I really have to let go.
I’m just finishing getting dressed for bed when someone knocks softly on my door.
My heart leaps into my throat, hoping that it’s Camden, but instead it’s a different pair of green eyes at my door: Elora .
“Hey, you,” she says softly. “Haven’t seen you since we took that nap together, just checking on you. Heard your dad was here.”
I smile, thinking of my dad and how grateful he was to see me. Sometimes, growing up, I remember feeling invisible in my own home, like he didn’t think of me much.
Now, I’m aware that’s not the case, and it feels good. I’m beginning to understand that I’ve never been as invisible as I thought.
“He was worried sick,” I admit. “Surprised me.”
“We all were,” Elora says. “I knew that Camden would keep you safe, but I figured you were going crazy stuck with him.”
I look away and Elora frowns.
“But you weren’t, were you?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I say, busying myself making my bed and Elora grabs my wrists.
“What happened between you and my brother?” she demands to know, and I press my lips together in a thin line.
“That’s really none of your business,” I mumble, and Elora scoffs.
“We’ve told each other everything since we were twelve, Kendall, please,” she insists. “Did something happen? Did he…” she pauses, her eyes widening. “Did he take advantage of you?”
I stare at her. “What do you mean, take advantage of me? Of course not!”
“I know that you’ve always had a little crush on him,” Elora mumbles, pacing around my bedroom. “But I never thought it was anything serious. I never thought he would-”
“Never thought he would what, Elora ? Notice me?” Anger rises in my blood as I look at her. Perfect Elora never had any issues being seen, never had any issues finding any number of boyfriends. And I’m all grown up and no longer jealous of that. She’s always had everything, and well…. I haven’t. But at least I’ve stayed true to myself.
“That’s not what I meant and you know it, Kendall,” Elora argues, but I’m angry now, and I can’t stop the words coming out of my mouth.
“You just can’t stand the idea that I might have someone, can you?” I accuse. “You can’t stand the idea that maybe someone wants me.”
“Camden? Why would he-” she starts, and I cut her off.
“Get out, Elora ,” I say coldly.
“Kendall, please,” she pleads. “Let’s just talk about this.”
I shake my head. “Not right now. I can’t talk about this right now, maybe ever.” I put my hand on my stomach, rubbing it unconsciously.
Elora looks down at the gesture and I see the realization in her eyes.
“Oh my god,” she whispers. “Don’t tell me that he… he knocked you up?”
“It wasn’t like that, Elora , he didn’t do it on purpose!” I defend him, and Elora snorts.
“Sure, he tripped and fell into your-”
“Stop it,” I cut her off. “Don’t be crude.”
Elora throws her hands up in exasperation. “I don’t know how else to be, Kendall. I can’t believe that my brother took advantage of your crush and got you pregnant.”
“It takes two to tango, Elora ,” I snap. “And I wasn’t exactly just lying there like a starfish.”
Elora blanches, looking at me. “You tell me everything, Kendall. You always have. Why wouldn’t you tell me this?”