“Meet me if you don’t want me to spread the word.”
I closed my eyes. This will definitely destroy Ismael more than me. This shouldn’t be seen by him.
I tried to call her, but the line wasn’t connecting. The next thing I received was an address. And I didn’t even think twice about going there. I immediately went out of the company and took a cab to go to the location Roxsielle sent me.
I remembered again the conversation we had with Ismael and Sav in Europe. Of course, she would have a copy of it because she’s related to Raviel, or, should I say, she’s that guy’s half-sister. For sure, she has been conspiring with him since the very beginning. Because if not, why would she contact me again? What else does she need? What does she want from me this time?
My heart was beating fast because of the nervousness when I stepped foot in an empty lot. I need to know what she wants and the reason she keeps doing this. The both of them. What did Raviel mean when he told me Ismael killed their parents so they got separated?
I just kept walking inside the smelly place. There were still many bottles scattered and broken things around. This place looked like a garbage dump.
I heard slow footsteps, and I almost lost my breath when I saw Raviel walking towards me. His appearance now is different from the last time I saw him. One of his hands was cut off. He only had one eye. Even his lips had stitches that looked like he had torn them off. What happened?
I gulped. I took a step back because of the fear that was biting into my bones. I wanted to cry because his handsome face that Sav and other women were obsessed with before was now scary and made my hair stand on end, especially when he looked at me deeply with one of his eyes.
“It’s like you’ve seen a ghost, Jothea,” he said while grinning. My hair immediately stood up, especially when my eyes landed on his side. He had a gun.
“W-what are you doing here? Roxsielle was supposed to meet me here, not you,” I said in a brave way. I didn’t want to show him how scared I was even though my knees were actually going weak.
“Why? Didn’t you miss me?”
The cruelty he had done to me came back to my memory. “What do you need from me? The both of you, what do you really want?”
“I don’t need anything from you. I just want my revenge for what that professor did to me. He even cut my dick, you know?” He unzipped his pants without hesitation, and I just closed my eyes when my eyes caught sight of what he was showing me. It was true that it was gone. But instead of anger, I felt more pity for him. What kind of hatred was planted in his heart to bring him to this point? And Ismael did this to him? I doubt. Why would he do this to him?
“I will kill that guy, Jothea.”
My breathing became heavy.
“Until the end, I didn’t get justice for my family because of his family,” he said angrily as he poured the contents of the container he was holding around him. Was that gas? Was he planning to burn the whole place down? “He killed my parents for keeping his silence when he knew the truth. I should do the same. I should kill him.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked him boldly, even though my legs couldn’t move or even run away. “The Mondalla family are not bad guys! They are all good to me!”
“To you, yes, because they will benefit from you, but to us? Do you know what his grandfather did to us? That professor’s grandfather produced an arson in the city of Laranez in 2008 that killed my parents. He burned our houses to create problems so he could have someone to help… to make people happy.”
City of Laranez? That’s where we lived before.
Hold on. Arson in 2008?
I turned pale as I remembered the fire I set in the city of Laranez. Is that what he was referring to? I was five years old at that time when my mother and father divorced. I was so heartbroken to experience having a broken family that I chose to kill us all, putting our house on fire.
No. That fire… it wasn’t because of anyone… it was because of me. That’s what my mother told me before, so that’s how extreme her curse was. But, she never mentioned to me that someone died because of the fire I did.
My tears fell when I looked at Raviel’s face. Does that mean I was the reason he became like this? Was I the one who really killed his parents? I fell to my knees while escaping the force. My hands rested on the floor while I continued to cry.
Does that mean, after all this time, my mom was right? That I am an evil woman. I killed two people, which made my family hate me and curse me. They have reasons for why they left me. I killed Raviel’s parents, which I did not know that I did until now. And I realized I shouldn’t be angry with Raviel because of the rape he committed against me. That wasn’t enough to make up for the sin I had committed against him and his family. They have the right. I was the one who made him and her sister suffer in this world, and yet here I am still blessed.
“I am sorry, Raviel…” I said. My lips trembled as I spoke to him. “It wasn’t Ismael; it wasn’t Ismael’s family who killed your parents…” I looked up to meet his pitiful face. It hurt me to see him in this situation because of me. I was the one who did this to him. “I am the one who did it to them. I am the one who killed them, Raviel… I am so sorry…”
The shock in his eyes was obvious. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “What do you mean, Jothea?”
“It was me w-who started that fire, Raviel,” I said between my hiccups and sobs, trying to remember the nightmare I had long forgotten. “When I was five years old, I burned our b-house without knowing that it would affect our neighborhood. I am sorry. I was full of hatred towards my parents.”
He scoffed and smirked, even wiping his tears from his eyes. “Hah! So, Roxsielle was right after all? It was you who killed our parents?” He asked unbelievably. “I was in denial because of the evidence I gathered that proved it was his family’s deed. But hearing your admission, then it must be true that the professor protected you again.”
I bit my lip. What does he mean? Does Ismael know my crime and yet still choose to be with me?
What is this? He’s cleaning up all my mess when it was me who ruined everything I stepped my foot on.
“And it irritates me.” He continued pouring gas around. I tried to step away, but he threatened to pour gas on me if I left.
“Try to leave; I’ll set it all on fire.”
I was brave enough to accept that this was my end since I deserved it all, but when I suddenly remembered the thing inside my belly now, I started to become more scared. What if this baby is Ismael’s, and I couldn’t protect it? Would that mean I failed to become a mother? And will this be the third life I’ve ended in this world?
“I am pregnant, Raviel; let me give birth to this before you take revenge on me, please,” I pleaded, making him even angrier.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” He dropped the gas canister before coming closer to me and pulling my hair. “You are pregnant? With whom? To that man? You’re just giving me more of an excuse to make him come here.”
He took out his gun and pointed it at my chin. My breathing became shallow. It was my first time seeing a gun this close. And I couldn’t let my fighting spirit out because I was afraid that my future child would also be affected. I don’t know what to do now.
“Call him,” he ordered. “Call that professor.”
I shook my head and took my phone from my bag, debating whether to call Ismael or not. I remembered our call a while ago. He’s in the middle of his meeting, but because I cried over the phone, he immediately wants to see me. He’s probably on his way to the Safira.
“I said, call him if you don’t want me to pull this trigger!” He pressed the gun harder against my chin, which made me flinch, but I didn’t want to. I didn’t want four more lives to be lost because of me. I didn’t want Ismael to come here. I knew that was what Raviel wanted. I knew that was what he was planning.
“I don’t want to! I killed your parents; why don’t you take revenge on me? Don’t make Ismael suffer anymore! It’s me, Raviel, you need to punish!”
I received a heavy slap. A blow from a gun. A reason to sink me to the ground. I held my chin and tried to stand up again, but he pushed me using his knee, pinning me on the floor while I got my phone out of my possession. I growled in pain. He was aiming his knee at my stomach.
“Give it back, Raviel!” I shouted while grabbing his thigh to remove it from my stomach, but he only pressed it harder, so I winced in pain. My baby… what will happen after this?
A loud cry escaped my mouth. Is this the price for all the happiness I feel these past few days? Can’t I really just be happy? Why is happiness worth the big slap of the truth that I don’t deserve it? Why is this pain so bad?
I was waiting for this to happen-to have a baby, because I know every man wants this to have. I was eager to see Ismael’s reaction, but it seemed like this news was not for his ears to hear.
I saw Raviel tapping my cellphone. It looked like he was looking for Ismael’s number. But not even a few seconds had passed when my phone’s ringtone rang.
“We’re all merely passing through… Doing what we can do for a lifetime…”
I cried harder when I heard that song. The song Ismael once sang to me. Because of Jose Mari Chan’s low voice, I thought it was Ismael singing to me now.
And because of that sound, I knew who was calling. Raviel smiled and showed me the screen of my phone. It was Ismael.
I closed my eyes and bit my lip hard while holding back sobs. “Please, Raviel, don’t do this. Leave him alone…” But he remained deaf to my request. He stood up and was about to get up when he put his hand on my stomach again. I winced even more in pain.
“What a ringtone,” he bantered as he answered the call and put it on speaker.
“Baby, where are you? I’m here at Safira. Where did you go? You didn’t even say goodbye to them.” My tears intensified upon hearing him as I put my hands on my lips, biting my skin, attempting to calm the hiccups caused by crying.
Raviel insisted even more on stepping on my stomach, causing me to groan in pain. He wanted me to speak for Ismael, but I didn’t want to. I wouldn’t do it.
“Jothea? What happened? Are you okay? Where exactly are you right now? Tell me, baby, please.”
I couldn’t even mention her name.
“You won’t talk? Sure, then, I will talk to him,” Raviel said before putting my phone to his mouth. His eyes sparkled as he looked at me. “If you still want to see her, come here, professor. It’s up to you if you call the police, but may I remind you that the woman here has a baby. Are you aware of that?”
Fuck. I heard Ismael’s heavy breathing on the other line. That was supposed to be my surprise for him.
“Don’t go here, Ismael! The baby is not yours,” I said, trying to figure out a way to keep Ismael from getting involved in my problems.
Raviel laughed out loud. “Then, are you telling me that it was mine? I shouldn’t step on your stomach then.” He lifted his foot, which was why I somehow felt relieved.
“Tell me the address, and I will go there,” Ismael said angrily on the other line. “I will do everything you asked of me; just don’t hurt them, Raviel.”
Raviel released an evil laugh that filled the entire space. Even my heart was in horror because of the echoes of his tremendous cackle.
I stood up quickly even though my knees were weak from sore muscles. I grabbed my phone while Raviel was still holding it. “Ismael, I swear! If you still want to see me, don’t fucking go here! The baby is not yours, so don’t waste your time!” I shouted, trying my best to convince him. Tears started to pour again, and my hands were shaking in fear. I want to be saved, yet I don’t want him to save me in exchange for his life. No, he better not do it. I won’t ever forgive myself.
I heard him sigh. “First of all, why would you state two contradictions, Jothea? Haven’t I already taught you about the chain rule? Did you not get it? Am I a bad calculus professor?”
I frowned and was immediately confused by his questions. What does calculus have to do with our current situation? And what chain rule is he talking about? This is not the right time for him to lecture me. What he said only made me cry even more because I remembered all the times we spent together. Why does it seem like this is going to end differently?
“I don’t understand you, Ismael…” I said to him, full of sobs.
“We use the chain rule when differentiating a function of a function. Do you think I won’t understand what you really mean? Do you think I won’t know why you cried in our call earlier? What do you think are my reasons for why I came for you?”
I shut my eyes. My eyes are hurting from crying. Why is he like this? Why does he know everything?
“I will go to you, Jothea. Wait for me. And for the last time, I have an activity for you. I hope You finish this before I come.”
I couldn’t speak. I kept listening to him. Why do I feel like this is the last time I’ll hear his voice?
“Nine x minus seven i, greater than three, multiplied by three x minus seven u.” [The equation described is: 9x – 7i > 3 (3x-7u) ]
How am I supposed to solve that?
“How cheesy,” Raviel said. That’s when I remembered he was here. I looked at him, and the moment our eyes met, darkness greeted me. me.
He hit me in the head with the gun, and I lost consciousness completely.