“Is the engagement and meeting with the parents a valid reason for absence?” I asked.
She stared at me for a few more seconds before her facial reaction gradually changed. She immediately stood up and jumped while screaming. While holding both my shoulders, she shook me. “For real? For real, Jothea?!”
She even surpassed my reaction when I remembered that scene on the beach again. Even Ismael’s necklace giving me, where the rings were. I showed it to Miss Sapphire.
“Gosh! Jothea! You’re so lucky! Don’t ever let Mr. Mondalla go! I’m telling you, I’ll be the first to get angry!”
She hugged me and congratulated me endlessly. And as I was endlessly turning around while hugging, I looked at the door. I just laughed when I noticed the doorknob moving. Miss Sapphire saw it too and we just looked at each other while smiling.
I opened the door to see the surprised faces of my coworkers. I didn’t know if it was because of my sudden opening of the door or because of what they heard. I exhaled as I flashed a playful smile. When they saw it, they jumped up and hugged me. Mill and Miss Ayu just smiled. They both mouthed congratulations.
And because of what they found out about me, they asked me to treat them to food to celebrate my engagement. I wasn’t planning on using the black card that Ismael gave me earlier but now, it looks like I can actually use it. My savings might be depleted if I use mine. Ismael really is a lifesaver. Did he calculate that this would happen, so he gave me the black card?
“So, how did he propose?” Mill asked while eating pesto. I was speechless. I didn’t expect to be in the hot seat. We were here in the pantry, eating food we had ordered. And I thought we were just going to eat. I wasn’t even oriented that this was an interrogation either. Don’t we have work?
“Yes, Jothea! Make the most of this time that we all have a break. We didn’t spend much time with you in Tagaytay either!” Erl insisted.
I looked at Miss Sapphire. She was smiling while watching us all. Somehow, I felt the happiness she was feeling right now, seeing her subordinates doing well with each other. She must be proud that she created a non-toxic working environment.
“What if? That’s where they got back together? Because it all fits, eh,” Caylie said.
“But didn’t Miss Levanier ask her the next day? I can see that they and Mr. Mondalla aren’t okay yet,” Zedee whispered.
I saw Miss Ayu smirk. “Obviously, she lied.”
I bit my lip, and that confirmed everything. I saw the sudden frown on their faces. When I look at them like this, I can’t help but be amazed. I never made a lot of friends when I was in college, and I was never aware that it felt right to have friends who cared for you too. It feels warm in the heart.
“Sorry,” I apologized. “I’m just looking for the right moment to tell you about us. Our relationship has been in a complicated situation, and I thought it had slipped away from my hands. I was so cowardly and never saw myself worthy of it or worthy of a second chance, but it happened. Everything happened out of control as if it were just me hindering it all, but because of the love Ismael has for me, I became braver and faced the abundance of it.”
“Because it was meant to be that way,” Miss Sapphire said, causing us to look at her. “You deserve that love; that’s why it came for you, and even if you throw it away, it just comes back because it is meant for you. You just have to accept it. The more you fight against your destiny, the more your life will be miserable. Just accept what God has prepared for you, Jothea.”
“I agree. Believe in yourself that you deserve that kind of love. It’s not bad to receive such sweet love,” Miss Ayu commented.
Tears welled up in my eyes. Hearing those words from them comforted me. I didn’t know that they thought that way. All my life, I have had doubts. I always doubt the good things that are happening to me. I always thought I wasn’t worthy. I thought I couldn’t be happy because after the fun, there was always trouble.
But I realized that after a problem is solved, there is another problem to solve. It is inevitable. What matters now is that I have someone to face all of those problems and trials, and everything will be light. It will no longer be heavy for me because I already have a helper and companion. I have a fiancee that is so so handsome and rich. What more can I have to worry about?
“Right, you shouldn’t deny grace,” Erl replied, interrupting my fantasy. We all just laughed at her comment.
But a smile vanished from my face when I felt something eerie in my stomach. I felt nauseated. I fainted, causing them to look on synchronously.
“Hey, are you okay?” “Jothea, are you okay?” they asked at the same time, but I couldn’t answer because I was in a hurry to get to the faucet. They could all hear me vomiting because the sink was right next to the table where we were eating. I’ve been vomiting water for a few minutes, but I still can’t shake the feeling of nausea.
What is this? Did I eat something bad? But they’re not vomiting like me.
I gargled water and wiped my lips. I looked at them, and I suddenly frowned when I saw their astonished faces. Both of them stopped eating and gaped.
“Jothea, are you pregnant?!”
*****
I’ve been in the bathroom staring at the pregnancy test kits that Miss Sapphire bought from her secretary, and I can’t leave the door because I want to try again. I’ve been crying since the very first try because I remember the doctor saying I wasn’t pregnant at all, but what are these? Why are there two lines?
I am fucking pregnant, and I still can’t believe this is happening. I’ve been worrying about this, and now it is as if my prayers have already been answered. I’m literally having goosebumps, remembering what Ismael’s mom told me that the doctor might be wrong. How come, after a day, everything has changed? It was also as if the universe was conspiring in the heavens to fulfill my wishes and erase my anxiety.
How come I am so blessed these days?
I bit my lip while looking at my own tears while smiling. I am now going to be a mother. Ismael’s and I’s constant companionship has paid off. We will have a child. And I am panicking because I don’t know what to do now. My hands are trembling because of the mixed emotions of excitement and nervousness. How am I going to tell him about this? What would be his reaction?
I tried to calm myself multiple times and decided to contact Ismael, just like I do whenever I need someone to hold on to. I can’t wait to tell him this news. I want to see his face. He’ll probably cry and embrace me.
I tried to type a message for him, but my hands are still so shaky that I couldn’t type a single word. Should I just call him instead?
It was as if he was waiting for my call when he answered it in a ring.
“Yes, baby?” he opened to me. I sniffed when I heard the sudden gasp of people in the background. Hold on, is he still in the meeting?
“Are you still in a meeting?” I uttered, preventing my voice from cracking and stuttering so he wouldn’t worry about me.
God, I miss him. We’ve only been apart for a while, I just want to see him and be with him. Hearing his voice isn’t enough.
“Yes, I am,” he answered. “Hold on for a second, everyone,” I heard him say. It seemed like I really bothered him because of my call.
“I’m here, baby. What happened?” His voice was filled with worry.
I pouted, suppressing my tears. “S-sorry for taking up some of your time, Ismael. Can I just go there instead? I have something to tell you.”
I am biting my nails while waiting for his answer.
“No need to say sorry, baby. Why? Is there something wrong? Why is your voice like this?”
“It was just-” I was in tears, and because of what I did, I just worried him even more. Why would he ask me like this? He’s pushing the buttons of my vulnerability.
“Don’t move. I’ll go there.”
Ismael ended the call, and that was the moment my knees felt numb. My tears intensified upon hearing that he’d come here when, in fact, he was in the middle of a business meeting. Who would do that in these days?
I heard a couple of knocks and voices outside the comfort room, and that’s when I remembered that my coworkers were all worried about me and waiting for me to come out. I slowly opened the door, and all of their eyebrows were knitted while looking at me.
“P-positive,” I mouthed.
“Oh, gosh! Jothea!”
One by one they hugged me and started crying for me. I kept crying even more because of their reactions.
“I’m a godmother, huh?” Erl said while wiping away her tears. We were like crazy people crying and laughing with joy.
They even made me sit down in the lounge. Miss Sapphire also told me to take a break. After the success of the collaboration, she offered me to take some leave if I needed it more. The truth is that I don’t need to work anymore because my husband is a CEO, but the thought that I will be leaving them pains me. I also fell in love with them, and I don’t want to leave this place. I still want to pursue my dreams of having a business, and being a marketing associate will help me achieve that. I don’t want to take the shortcut and just rely on Ismael’s skills. I want to gain things through my own hard work.
Miss Ayu also advised me to go to the doctor to check on my pregnancy situation. I will probably do that when Ismael arrives. I need him because I feel like I’m dying of nervousness.
“If you need something, just call for anyone from us. We’re here for you, Jothea,” Miss Sapphire told me, for which I am very thankful.
“Thank you,” I answered before looking at them all. “Thank you, everyone. I appreciate it so much.”
They left me alone for now and continued their respective jobs. I patiently waited for Ismael. A minute passed when my phone received a notification. I was expecting that it came from Ismael, but I did not expect to see a name flash on the screen. The joy I was feeling was gone and replaced by bitterness.
It was from Roxsielle. For a moment, I was hesitant to open it, but my curiosity killed me. I gulped when I saw her message. It wasn’t a message at all but a video-a sex video of me and Raviel. That was the time when he raped me. I almost forgot about it because Ismael made me forget this, but now every single detail of what happened that night came back to me, and it shattered my world into pieces. It discourages me from the fact that it produces a hypothetical thought in my mind.
I bit my lip, holding back the bitter tears that fell from my eyes.
What if the child I’m carrying isn’t Ismael’s? What if it was the fruit of the heinous deed that bastard did to me? How am I supposed to tell Ismael this? It will literally break his heart, because that’s what I’m feeling right now. And I feel so much hatred.
I was about to type a message to ask what she wanted when she sent me blackmail.
“Meet me if you don’t want me to spread the word.”