“Ismael, what are you doing?” I stammered. I felt lost. It’s not like before, where I could be anything in front of him. I was overcome with embarrassment and trepidation, especially because he was in front of me. We haven’t been together in a long time, so I can’t help but feel as if we’re just meeting.
Our eyes connect. He was looking up as I bent down. Our bodies were close together, and I could feel his hand against my thighs. My hand was bent over the back of his chair.
“Raviel was simply messing with us, Jothea. The one you saw, I’m sure it was Jenna Levanier. Jenna is my father’s cousin, much as Yves is my mother’s cousin. Jothea, I have no one else. How many times do I have to tell you that you are the one person I love? And why would I consider you my mistress when you were the one I had always wanted to marry?”
I was left dumbfounded. It appears that I was bombarded with information, none of which penetrated my brain enough to comprehend.
“Your classmate was correct. I was unable to return to my profession since I was preparing for our marriage, as promised. I gave you the ring as part of my oath, correct? Doesn’t it serve its duty to remind you every time?” he questioned, still looking intensely into my eyes. “Oh, you removed it. How do you remember?” he mocked.
I stared at my hand. The ring he had previously given me was no longer there. How difficult was it for him when I rejected everything he said? All of his promises and assurances returned to me as if they had happened yesterday, plaguing me.
Fuck. What did I do? Why did I forget that?
I suddenly felt guilty. How am I expected to confront him now? I grew so immature and despised him, despite the fact that all along he was simply carrying out his duties and responsibilities for me.
I cried. I merely bowed down out of humiliation as the other memories of the two of us gradually returned to me. Although I am easily moved by his words, I remain a naive individual with little faith in him. Was it a traumatic response? How could I do this to someone who has done nothing but express and prove his love for me?
Why am I impatient?
He advised me to endure and trust him.
Why haven’t I done it when it’s all that he asked for?
“I’m sorry, Ismael…” I apologized. “I’m sorry, I did it again.” My hands shook, and I couldn’t even touch him. I sincerely apologize for what I have done. I want to be upset with myself for hurting someone so innocent again.
I felt him stroke my hair before hugging me. “Shush. It’s okay. I understand.”
I shake my head. “You constantly do that, and all I did was mistrust you. I even slapped you when you asked me to hug you. I am the worst.”
“That’s okay. I will hug you instead.”
I continued shaking my head. “Why are you so understanding? You should have left me when you had the chance. You do not deserve someone like me.”
“Don’t say that,” he weakly countered. “You are perfect for me, as if you were made just for me.”
I let go of the hug and looked him in the eyes. I couldn’t stare at him for too long, but I tried. I want him to know I’m sorry, even if I keep doing it. What exactly is the problem? Even I do not like myself. I do not like what I do to him.
“You have every right to be furious with me because I am so foolish. I’m so sorry, Ismael. You were thinking about our marriage when I was hating you because you abandoned me.”
“At least you detest me for a good cause, and you never find someone else. I am at ease. I see you genuinely adore me.”
He keeps blabbing a counterattack on my feelings while caressing my hair and tapping my back. “I do. I won’t hate you if I don’t love you so much, Ismael.”
“Then I enjoy having you hate me.” He took his hands off me and looked into my eyes. He wiped my tears and kissed my forehead. “Please keep on loving me, Jothea.”
He kissed my eyelids, the top of my nose, my cheeks, and my lips. The instant he claimed it again, he conquered my walls and territory.
I couldn’t help but cry. This reunion provides me with a great deal of peace, both mentally and emotionally. Everything became vibrant. What occurred to us makes me yearn for him. We recently argued about misunderstandings, but it did not last long. He knows how to control, handle, and comprehend me. He understands that dealing with a stubborn woman like me requires the appropriate amount of patience. He knows when it is appropriate to push and pull. This man is a 10 out of 10.
“I will, Ismael, and I apologize. I sincerely apologize.”
“No, that was not solely your fault. You were correct; I am such a jerk. I was the one who left you and pretended nothing happened. I just trust you so much that you’ll believe me when I say I offered you assurance when it wasn’t enough. I apologize for leaving and hurting you, my love.” He caressed my cheeks.
I nodded. “I’m sorry…”
“I said it’s fine. Don’t dwell too long on our mistakes. Let’s concentrate on how we can improve the issue, okay?”
Again, I nodded. I can’t express how I feel. I lost all of the weight inside me. It seemed as if there was light again. I feel like I adore him even more.
We stared at each other for quite some time before I looked at his lips. He’s the same to me. We were both still groping, as if deciding whether or not to resume the kiss we had interrupted earlier in his office.
“Ismael, can I kiss you?”
A smile grew across his lips, as if he hadn’t anticipated my query. It’s only natural, given that I was the one who had previously let go from both of us. I want to make up from what happened when he kissed me this morning.
“You don’t have to ask, my lady.”
I just closed my eyes as he opened his mouth to taste my lips. The warm electricity that filled my entire existence rushed through my body. I felt heated, especially given the scenario between us-I was on top of him. I felt him firm between my legs, and I couldn’t help but feel something inside myself.
“Ismael, can we go home now?” I mumbled between his kisses to myself.
“Alright, baby.”
*****
He brought me to his penthouse. The room filled with our moans and squelches as we continued to make love. I never expected this to happen so fast. We recently met again, yet now we’re in front of each other, conducting business that we haven’t done in months.
My eyes shifted slowly to meet his focused gaze. His handsomeness has never faded, even when his brows are furrowed while on me. Despite the fact that he is attractive, I cannot stop imagining what his life would be like without my presence.
I extended my arms to embrace him. God, I really missed him-not just him on top of me, gratifying me, but his existence-his presence that inspires me to live every second of my life.
I could not help but cry. I sniffed and wiped my tears away from my cheeks. I noticed he had stopped and let go of my tight hold.
“Are you okay?” He questioned, concerned. “Does it hurt?”
I shake my head.
“Don’t you like it?”
Again, I shook my head. He peered at me closely, as if to see why I was crying. “Should we stop now?”
I was in utter tears. “Hey, what’s wrong?” He sat down and moved me to his lap. “What’s wrong, baby?”
As if to console me, he was holding and caressing my waist while waiting for me to respond to all of his questions; however, I merely shed tears in his presence.
“You’re making me worried.” He caressed my hair, then kissed my cheek. “Tell me, what is it?”
I gulped when I felt his kisses on my ear. “I just can’t believe you’re here with me now, Ismael.”
He massaged my face before offering me a warm smile. “Did you miss me that much?”
I nodded. “I did. Are you sure you did not miss me?”
He smirked. “If I don’t miss you that much, then I won’t devour you like this.” He passionately kissed my lips. It was as if my lips were his long-awaited dreams, and now that they’re within reach, he’s savoring every last bit of them.
“I miss you so much, Jothea; even though you’re here with me, my heart still longs for you. I’d like to tuck you under my skin. I want you here. I want your hands to rub against my warmth like you’ve felt cold before,” he said in a harsh, gruff voice. He then sucked on my collarbone, leaving some love marks.
I arched my back as I felt his teeth on my nipple. He’s sucking and biting it as he plays with it with his rough hand. “I intend to consume every inch of your body to determine whether or not it continues to respond as though it were mine.”
I bit my lip and clutched his shoulder as he played with my chest some more. “Look at how hard your nipples are now. The more it acts like this, the more I want to bite it.”
“S-stop, Ismael. You don’t have to describe it.”
“But you’re asking me if I miss you; I’m trying to explain so you will understand how much I do.”
He held my hand and kissed it. I could feel his licking and became weak as I watched what he was doing. He’s stunning when he does it.
His kiss moved down to my arm. My breathing became heavier as a result of the powerful sensation he was giving me. As I sit on his lap, I can feel my femininity being drenched, which is embarrassing because I know he can also feel it. And he grinned, indicating that he had noticed.
He was leaning against the headboard, so I looked at him, surprised. “Sit on me, Jothea.”
What he stated raised my eyebrows immediately. “W-what do you mean, Ismael?” I asked hesitantly.
“Sit on my face.”